XTV 2:10 - April 27th 2006

[Evil Gringo]

The following program is a post watershed production, it will contain scenes and storylines not suitable for children and some of the content may also be unacceptable to other viewers. This program may also contain strobe lighting effects

'Carve me an Edge' by Fake Ideal starts to play as the XTV opening video plays….



Images are displayed throughout the title sequence:


Twiggie hitting the Twiggaludo Frosion
Barry Gower throwing down the ERE title
The Judge arriving in his tank
S.E.X. unveiling Michael Cole
TLA standing in a blaze of green flame
The Incredible Holt TKO'ing Evil Gringo from the cage
Deadman tapping to Gowers crossface
Iagan looking at his map bemused
Draven Cage getting poked in the eye by Boyo
PMA coming back to town
The Violence Bearer rising up through the ramp
Scott Andrews returning
The Dark Alliance hitting The Anvil on The New Gringo Army
The New Blood hitting the Natural Order
Sickness covered in blood
Eagles nailing the Money Shot through the tables
Holt falling through the cage as an astonished Gringo watches on
Dante Mueller being held aloft by fellow wrestlers after winning the Title!
The cheesy grin of Darkstar

The camera cuts to a shot of the arena, the Koenig-Pilsner Arena, Oberhausen in Germany where thousands upon thousands of screaming fans wave their signs...

I felt a Mexican Sensation last night!
Twiggie + Dreadlocks = Softcore!
Dante give me a embrace!

We cut to the annouce table where we are once again joined by Paul E. Heyman and Joey Styles...

JS: Welcome ladies and gentleman to XTV, LIVE from Germany as we continue to blaze a trail world wide...

PH: Yes indeed Joey, welcome fans to another historic XTV from the heart of Europe where we are once more sold out and full to capacity!

JS: Thats right Paulie and what a night it will be, we have the Dangerous Alliance here, the Future, the New Blood, the New Gringo Army and of course our reigning World Heavyweight Champion, Dante!

PH: Ha! His ass should have been beaten last week until he cheated...

JS: Cheated?!? As I recall it was the New Blood who invaded the ring...

PH: Well...

The bickering co-commentators are cut off as Break Stuff pounds through the PA system and the owner of TWOStars, Darkstar strides onto the ramp flanked on either side by the US Champion Violent Vinnie Vengence and his mouthpiece, the former ECW Triple Crown holder Tazz!

JS: Wow, the Future are here to make their prescene felt early... I wonder what the boss has to say...

PH: Well if you shut up long enough Joey then you'll find out...

Darkstar walks up the ringsteps behind Tazz as Triple V hops onto the apron... Vinnie steps over the top rope and then Tazz holds them open for Darkstar who climbs in the ring quickly followed by the mouthpiece of the Future... Darkstar beckons for a microphone and the crowd hush ready and expectant on the owners word...

DS: Cut my music!

Break Stuff cuts off...

DS: Well as you probably saw last week the New Blood once more saw fit to stick there noses in matches that I book... to play around with what I want to happen... But girls this is MY show and I make the rules...

Darkstar straighens his suit jacket before continuing...

DS: Now I'm getting sick and tired of all of this postering and running of mouths and stalling from you guys. You turn up and stare at us, you run your mouths backstage when where not around and proclaim that you are the Future. Well girls last time I checked we where the Future and not some little runts from our training school...

Tazz pats his boss on the back and applauds whilst Triple V stands there silent cradling his US title on his shoulder...

DS: So I'm going to take steps right here, tonight in Germany... (crowd gives a mild cheap pop) and so I'd like to call out.... Evil Gringo!



The lights dim and the crowd buzz as The End by Roadrunner United booms through the in house speakers.... Brooding dark red and green lights flash and spiral around the ramp and ring and pyro explodes as the Evil Gringo emerges from the back, eyes full of rage, ready for war...

JS: What the hell does this mean Paulie?

PH: Jesus Joey, what are 12, you got no attention span? Just sit there like a good boy and no doubt the boss will tell you...

Gringo makes his way down the ramp and rolls into the ring, springing to his feet infront of Darkstar... Tazz and Triple V move closer to the boss just as a precaution...

DS: Ah glad you got out of Japan after last week Gringo... (Tazz laughs behind the bosses back...). I called you down because I wanted you to hear straight from my lips what my plan is... Tonight the New Blood (crowd boos) will be taking on a team of yourself....

The crowd cheers for the Mexican Sensation who grins and slaps his chest in apprication...

DS: As I was saying, a team of you... Tazz... and me, Darkstar!

Gringo almost instantly snatches the microphone from the suprised Darkstars hand as the crowd cheer...

EG: Pardon me ese? I have to team with you two loser chicos against those hombres?

Darky can be seen to be mouthing 'thats correct'...

EG: You not read my note? Not see the ideas I had? You really think your old business man ass and this bad necked midget get the job done ese? I told you t play ball with me homes, I gave you the soultion in your hand last week and yet you ignore me?

Darkstar is angry and snatches another mic from ringside...

DS: Listen here chump... This is my show, this is my building paid for all tonight and this is my company so I say what goes... And what goes is this Pingu... Tonight you, me and Tazz are coming to this ring, me are going to work TOGETHER and we are going to solve our mutal problem before Redemption even rolls around and that Pingu is an ORDER!

The crowd boo at the owner as Gringo scowls at him in disgust...

DS: So homes... I'll see you here in ohhh... lets say an hour a half okay? Now hit my music!

Break Stuff hits the PA once more as the Future climb out of the ring leaving the Gringo stood their a mass of rage as we fade out to our first commerical break...

[Boyo]

Back from commercials, straight to a little Shopzone Ad, and then cuts to the stage area, that has been set up as a little t-shirt boutique, with a little table and a little till and everything! A really tinny, crappy version of "Blue Monday" by New Order is playing at a quiet level and Boyo and Sickness, The Dark Alliance, are standing behind the counter. The crowd's HUGE pop is dying down.

Boyo: Welcome Mr ladies and gentlemen to the hippest boutique ever, the 1st wonder of the work in t-shirt variety, the original TWOStars' stockist of the finest-

Boyo and Crowd: Vvvvintage RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRock and Roll t-shirts straight from the catwalks of Mexi-

Boyo remains perfectly motionless with the mic at his mouth.





















Styles: Erm.



































Styles: W-what's going on here, has Boyo stopped!?

Heyman: Is he ok? He's just frozen mid sentence!















































Styles: Still nothing.











































Heyman: *cough, What's going on, Joey?

Styles: ...









































Styles: F-folks, we've gotta take a short break!

Fades to:

[Omega]

fade into.....


In the back corridor we see the jobbers of the day talking and laughing together. Sharing memories of when they last had their ass handed to them by a member of the roster.

Behind the jobbers the garage door that lets the real talent park up rises and a large black caoch rumbles through the aprking lot, scattering the assembled wrestlers.

The door on the coach opens and Drake Rush steps out into the arena, closley followed by The Man, The Omega Male and finally Red Scorpion. The New Blood look less than happy with them long journey to the stadium.

DR: I swear, if Darkstar takes us to another back of the woods dump like this again I'm going to melt this belt down and sell it to Mr T as jewllery.

AB: Don't sweat it Drake, these stoopid Krauts love people like us.

DR: They do?

AB: Yeah, thats why they're so stoopid!

DR: Logical, if nothing else.

One of the jobbers has crept up to the assembled pack and nervously coughs.

*Cough*

Rush turns around and stares at the offending sight before him.

DR: Ah yes, our stuff is in the coach, take it to our lockeroom and for gods sake be careful with it.

Jobber: Wait, don't you remember me? Paine, from Fills Acedemy? We had a match once!

DR: Did we?

The posion of TWO steps between Butcher and Rush, looming over the jobber.

RS: I remember you, you little pissant. You owe fifty bucks.

Jobber: I don't think I do.

RS: Really, in which case I owe you this.

Red Scorpion lays out the unfortunate, yet stupid jobber with a huge right hand. Bending down, The Stinger removes his wallet and takes a roll of notes and a plane ticket back to the States.

AB: Good haul Scorp's. I know some migrant workers who'd pay over the odds for that ticket.

RS: It's all your, dude. Now, where can I get a beer.

The rest of the assembled Jobbers look at the cans of larger in their hands and huridley hide them behind their backs.

RS: I saw that you bunch of selfish b*****ds. Didn't momma teach you to share....

Scorpion strides off camera and can be heard to be slapping about the "pool of talent" for all he's worth. Back on camera Drake turns back to Ashton Butcher.

DR: You think our good friend might have a tiny anger managment problem?

The Man looks on a clothing, teeth and beer cans are flying around from off camera.

AB: ...........Nah, he's just playing.

DR: Yeah, kinda of sweet they way he's punching their teeth out. Hey Arron, what you make of Scorp's. Primed for Head Of Talent Relations?!

Winter has been stood just aside from his two teammates looking out at the German skyline.

AW: It reminds me of home.....

Butcher and Rush look at one another, worried by the odd mood Arron appears to be in.

AB: You okay dude? You seem a bit....... out there. Well, more so than usual at least.

AW: this is as close to home as I've been in many years. Memories of a different time. A long time ago....

DR: Ashton, I'd better go and see what the lay of the land is. No doubt DS will have something planned for us this week. I need to get the drop on things so I can work out what we're going to do. Can you make sure Arrons got himself focused, we need to be all on the same page.

AB: No worries D-man, I'm on the case..... Hey Arron, I heard that one of these guys said Estonia was the ass-hole of the planet. Wanna teach him some manners?

Winter spins around and nods towards his Tag partner and both men stride towards the last few jobbers still standing after Scorpion had robbed them over their beer.

Jobber#2: Oh no, not again.....


Camera fades to................................................ ..........






A re-cap of the Tag Title History...(ha, that caught you out )

[Boyo]

Cuts to: A SHOPZONE AD!!!

A shot of the Southern Californian Desert!

Voice-over: Death Valley, one of the most treacherous places on Earth...

The aerial view of Death Valley shows a little dust road with a trail of smoke, a close-up shows a BMW X5 off-roader speeding along.

Voice-over: NOT a place for the weak-willed or the untrained survival specialists!!

The camera has a close-up of the X5's cabin. Twiggie and Iagan are in the X5, Twiggie is driving.

Twiggie: I do not believe this, Ginny! YOU have the map. YOU have the sat-nav...

Iagan: ...

Twiggie: HOW THE HELL DID WE GET LOST!?!?

Iagan: ...

Twiggie: There's only one road! ONE ROAD! And we are lost! How the hell did we get lost!?! Ginny, what are we gonna do?

Iagan look sheepish but then from nowhere pulls out a McChicken sandwich. Twiggie grins...

Twiggie: You faithful lapdog, you! I have the munchies as well!

Twiggie takes a bite and joy speads across his face (but not Joy Giovanni).

Twiggie: Mmmm mmm, Ginny, muh-man, I'm lovin' it!

Voice-over: McDonalds, Official Partner of the BMW X5.

Fades to:

[Boyo]

Cuts back to the stage area, Boyo is still motionless with the mic at his mouth.

Styles: Welcome back to Xtreme TV folks, and we have a weird situation here. Boyo has not moved an inch for about 4 minutes!!

Heyman: He's finally cracked, Joey Styles! He's gone nutto!!

Styles: Boyo was saying "something something from Mexico" but he got as far as "Mexi" and then stopped.

The camera cuts back to Boyo.

































Styles: What are we gonna do? Cancel Boyo's? Why doesn't he do something?








































A long close-up of Boyo's face on the Titantron, who suddenly smirks and the crowd pop HUGE!!








Boyo: -COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!

The crowd roar HUGE!!

Styles: THAT'S his catchphrase now!??

A shadowy figure enters the shop.

Boyo: Mr Sickness, it appears we have a customer! Enter, mere sapien.

The shadowy figure turns out to be Twiggie, the crowd half boo, half pop the smelly tweener.

Boyo: Ah Mr Twig, welcome to Boyo's, the hippest boutiqe ever.

Twiggie: Why thank you Mr Boyo and may I just say that in my role as Hardcore Champion, Mr T. Willigins loves Boyo's.

Boyo: ...

Twiggie: ...

Sickness: Didn't you here Mr Boyo, Mr Twilligins? He said "hippest" boutique, not "hippiest".

The crowd laugh as Twiggie smells his rankerous armpits.

Boyo: Ha ha, a funny, Mr Sickness. Bravo! Now how can we help you, Mr Twilligins?

Twig: Now, Mr Boyo, I'm looking for a vintage, (ahem), RRRRRRRRRRock n Roll t-shirt from the catwalks of MMMMMExi-























Boyo: Coooooohhhh. Excellent ripperoffery there, Mr Twilligins. Do you have a t-shirt in mind?

Twig: Why yes, Mr Boyo. I would love a "Little Feat" t-shirt.

Boyo: ...

Sickness: You want little feet?

Twig: Why yes, Mr Sickerness. How can I get me some Little Feat?

An evil sneer appears on the demented face of Sickness and the crowd laugh the impending barbaric acts. Sickness pulls out a machete and the crowd roar HUGE!!!

Boyo: Now, erm, Mr Sickness...

Sickness: Little feet! Little feet!

Sickness starts chasing Twiggie around Boyo's as Boyo looks on stunned. Then Boyo starts rummaging through some old boxes. The crowd enjoy Twiggie looking genuinely scared for the future of his feet.

Boyo: Now Mr Sickness, old friend, that's enough terrorism for one day...

Some of the crowd actually boo this! Not Twiggie however.

Boyo: Mr Twig, Boyo's, the hippest boutique ever, has one last Little Feat t-shirt straight from the catwalks of Mexi-

Crowd: Coooohhhh

Boyo: It's yours for....1....plus 4.....minus...erm...3.....TWENTY EIGHT DOLLARS!

Twiggie hands over a $50 bill

Boyo: Short of seventy-eight dollars! That makes FIFTY DOLLARS! You have a great day Mr Twilligins!

Twig: ...

Fades to a Shopzone Ad~!!

[Dante]

Back from Shopzone ad. We cut back to the garage to see a black Dodge Viper speeding into the garage. It parks, and out steps Dante. The crowd pop for the arrival of their champion. As he's walking into the building, he sees some of the jobbers walking around nursing injuries from the New Blood's arrival.

Dante-What the hell happened here?

Jobber 1-The New Blood sir.

Jobber 2-They beat us up and stole our beer.

Dante-I see.

With this Dante turns and head toward the building. He has a look of purpose stamped on his face.

Heyman-Dante looks like he's on a mission.

Styles-I'm sure we'll find out what it is.

Cut to a shopzone advert for "Stealing Lives, Inflicting Death" The Story of Sickness.

[Dark Dodo]

During the ShopZone Advert the telephone goes of on the announce table

PH: Its probably the Boss telling me I am the new General Manger

JS We're Doomed, all doomed

Heyman picks up the phone and answers it

PH: Yes who is it

Phone: ...............

PH: Oh its you you freak what do you want?

Phone: ....................

PH: What do do you mean the arena is empty?

Phone: ...........................

PH: Hold it you daft sod where are you?

Phone: .....................

PH: Messehalle Leipzig, Germany? MESSEHALLE? LEIPZIG?

JS: I take it thats Iagan?

PH: YOU BLOODY FREAK! Your supposed to be at the Koenig-Pilsner Arena, Oberhausen. You have a match tonight now get your burnt arse down here

JS:HAHAHA! I dont believe he's lost again.

Heyman puts down the phone

PH: I tell you what since he got let out of the loony bin he may have found his sanity but he's certainly lost his mind

cuts to a ShopZone Advert TWO Arkham figure with disposable Doctor Handsolo

[Boyo]

Back from the Shopzone ad to a shot of Mean Gene Okerlund standing backstage.

Mean: Hullo folks and welcome to TWOStars XTV comin atcha from someplace in Germany. And what a show it's been already, but I wanna talk to you about something under the radar - some exclusive footage for you.

Styles: Exclusive footage?

*The screen cuts to the ring but it is from way earlier in the evening...*

Gene (voiceover): Earlier this evening on TWOStars' pre-show, Haywire, we saw a new tag team in action: Janus and Dragon Boyo, The Rabid Customers.

The Rabid Customers get in the ring, "Sabotage" by The Beastie Boys in full swing. They face up to their chubby-ish opponents.

Gene: If you recall last week, the forgotten men of Captain Frank and Jason Hannibal, the HardCOre journeymen from EWA and YGFW, a tag team known as "The Mange Two", challenged The Rabid Customers to a match live on Haywire, and take a look at what went down.

Styles: Oh I heard about this, Paul...

Janus unloads on The Cap left, right, left, right, left - each punch connecting with The Cap's podgy mid-section, knocking the wind out of the wrestling nomad.

Todd Pettingill: What viciousness from Janus here, the mysterious masked fighter, and it's been nothing but awesome Rabid Customers offence since the bell rang!

Janus tags in Dragon Boyo to a chorus of boos. Janus Irish-Whips The Captain and Dragon Boyo lays down behind Janus.

TP: A big move coming up here from The Rabid Customers here...

Janus uses the Cap's momentum and performs a Fisherman's Suplex, hooking both the legs of the Captain. Janus then brings the Cap's spine squarely over the knees of Dragon Boyo!

Crowd: Ohhhh!

TP: Holy Moley! What a deadly move that was!

The Captain is out squarely on his back, vomint dribbling from the corner of his pie-eating mouth.

Dragon Boyo goes for the cover

ONE!





TWO!






THREE!!

TP: And this one's over before it even began, Jason Hannibal didn't even get a tag! And mayhaps it's a good thing for him that he didn't.

Mean: And if you thought that was impressive, then take a look at what went down next...

The ref raises the arms of The Rabid Customers as "Sabotage" plays once again. Jason Hannibal gets in the ring to check on his portly tag-team partner.

TP: The Mange Two have been decimated here...but wait! What the hell is Janus doing!?!

Janus lets out a few blood-curdling screams and attacks Jason Hannibal where he stands. He pushes him back into a turnbuckle and starts biting at his cheek. Hannibal screams in panic as the crowd look uneasy.

TP: Janus is BITING Jason Hannibal, and the referee is trying to pull Janus away from the poor orca!

Janus is really digging in with his teeth and then...rrrrrrrip! Janus, with his teeth, rips about 4 square inches of tissue off of Jason Hannibal's right cheek. Dragon Boyo stands there laughing and applauding as Janus chews on the flesh in his teeth. Some of the children in the crowd are crying as The Rabid Customers exit up the aisle and through the curtain.

TP: THAT'S RIGHT! GET OUTTA HERE!! Poor Jason Hannibal! Just look at his face!...

Cuts back to Mean Gene.

Mean: We couldn't show any more of that edition of Haywire, folks, as it was too graphic. However, what I can do for you is promise you that before we end transmission here tonight, I, Gene Okerlund, will find The Rabid Customers and will interview them...TONIGHT!!

Styles: There goes a brave man, Paul Heyman

Heyman: A stoopid one more like. He better make sure Janus don't bite his face off!!

Fades to...a SHOPZONE AD!!

[MrFill]

Back from the ShopZone Ad.

We're backstage with The Grish, he is standing read, mic in hand - beside him is the new-comer, and presenter of the Care Show - Chris Care.

The crowd boo loudly at the sight of the Blackpool native, he just looks around impassively, clearly ignoring the fans' reaction.

TG: I'm here with "New Breed" Chris Care, now, last week we saw the first edition of the "Chris Care Show", and tonight we'll see another edition, so, can I have your thoughts on how it went?

CC: Todd, let me first...

Suddenly the interview is interrupted by Arkham busting into the middle of the two men. The audience cheer at the sight of one of their favourites.

Arkham: Someone say Care Bear?

TG: Arkham, nobody said...

Arkham: I hear Care Bear - me LOVES Care Bears, they fun and cuddly.

TG: I'm interviewing Chris Care.

Arkham: You Care Bear? Oooooh.

The big man suddenly lunges at Care, taking him by surprise he scoops the smaller man up in a big hug.

Arkham: You not look like Care Bear, but me hug you, and squeeze you, and call you George!

CC: Put me down, you big oaf.

Arkham: He not very cuddly.

TG: Arkham, big guy, this isn't a Care Bear, it's Chris Care, a wrestler.

Arkham: You sure? He look like George. I call you George.

CC: Put. Me. Down. NOW!

Arkham: George not friendly, he not like to play.

TG: Please, Arkham, he's not George.

CC: Look, you big...

Arkham: Shhh, George, peoples speaking, Care Bear not speak now.

CC: WHAT?

Arkham pats The Caring One on the head, and turns back to Toddy.

Arkham: Care Bear George not listen proply. He keep talking when peoples talking.

Care gets in front of Arkham and begins to poke him in the chest with every word.

CC: Look you idiot...

Arkham: Naughty George, you not speak while peoples speaking. Naughty.

The Insane One pushes Care aside and looks at Grish, the camera shows Chris is FUMING!

CC: WHY YOU...

Arkham: George not nice, me not play with George no more.

Arkham walks off leaving Grish standing beside the enraged New Breed.

CC: Who the hell let that idiot in here?

TG: Arkham is one of TWOstars' wrestlers.

CC: That guy is a WRESTLER? I can't believe this place.

Care turns and storms off.

TG: Well, it looks like my interview is over.


We cut to - you guessed it - a SHOPZONE AD~~~!

[Craig Van Dam]

We cut backstage where Black Dragon is talking to Becki Moss in the locker room

BD: Oh come on you know, tell me?

BM: Know what?

BD: Oh you, don't play games with me you know the names in that envelope

BM: Dragon, I don't, Gringo hasn't said anything

BD: Oh come, don't play dumb with me, your Gringo's Mamacita, you know him better than anyone, so come on just tell me, I won't tell anybody

BM: Look you strange man it's just an envelope, I don't know

BD: Oh come on, just whisper

BM: Would you grow up? It's not that big a deal

Becki leaves the room

BD: Whats the big secret? Why won't anybody tell me? I just want to know whats in the envelope

JS: Man Black Dragon is acting pretty strange, he seems to be obsessed with this envelope

PH: Yup, this envelope seems to be driving him crazy

We fade to........