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Thread: Kaiser Krauser

  1. #11
    Disgrace to the *****
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    You might as well go for Bernard if you like the Bronson guy.
    Mathematical

  2. #12
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    See, the problem for me with Bernard is that he's a bit...well..."husky". I dont know why, but I just have the idea of this massively ripped mad German from ZERO's description?

    Although, it's not my character so it's not my decision. Just offering up an opinion.
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  3. #13
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    I dunno, You can't imagine A-train in some Lederhosen?
    Mathematical

  4. #14

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    Now I cant unimagin it.
    ¿¡Por qué no te callas!?

  5. #15
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    Mathematical

  6. #16

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    Aargh, I'm torn as both looks could work. Though I do very much love the Pat Roach/Bronson idea. I think that's what I'll go for and use Giant Bernard for in-ring footage if Omega is ever kind enough to make this poor, sick, homeless orphan an entrance video. Achoo.

    Anyways, promo done! I made up some silly programme to give a reason for this promo to exist, haha. Also I was unsure of how much of an accent to write into Krauser's dialogue, as if I overdid it it'd get a bit tedious and probably collapse on itself fairly quickly leading to some confusion (hi there Angus!) so he speaks pretty good English reserving his native tongue for cursing. Hopefully it works out okay!

    ************************

    We find ourselves in front of specially constructed set backstage, crafted carefully out of no-expenses-spared cardboard and love, and intended for nothing but hard-hitting, intense interviews. Doing the verbal hard-hitting this evening is none other than Todd Grisham in a suit that must have cost him LITERALLY several dollars. Having been given his cue he gets this thing underway.

    Todd Grisham: Hello and welcome fight fans to another exciting instalment of “TWOstars’ NEWstars!” an episodic online broadcast bringing you the four-one-one on the newest talent to make it to TWOstars, with me as your host: Todd Grisham! With me today is a man hailing all the way from Germany! Standing over 7ft tall, this self-titled ‘Emperor of Wrestling’ is hoping to make a BIG impact here in TWOstars! Welcome, Kaiser Krauser!

    Heavy footsteps are heard off set, getting closer with each resonating stomp. Gradually, a monstrous figure comes into view, a hulking beast concealed behind a glorious looking cape. Weaved with fabrics of white and gold, the gargantuan garment was clearly specially made; the immense size likening it to a tent rather than an article of clothing. The man stares upwards, his chin high in the air and proud as he comes to a stop a small distance in front of The Grish.

    TG: Welcome, Kaiser Krauser! Now before we get started, I’d just like to know ho...

    The interviewer stops mid-sentence, clearly disturbed by the cripplingly low amount of attention The German Giant is showing to him.

    TG: Umm... Sir? Mr. Krauser...?

    Kaiser Krauser, with his head still held high, appears to be totally oblivious of Todd Grisham.

    TG: Mr. Krauser...? We’re... The interview...!

    Oh so suddenly, The Kaiser’s head snaps down and makes direct eye contact with the much smaller interviewer. As if confused by his surroundings, Klauser begins to looks around him, his head darting from one direction to the next.

    Kaiser Klauser: What, what is this?! What... Is this it?! No... parade?! No fanfare?! No banners, no confetti, no singing, no dancing, no, nothing! Nothing at all! The Great Fester Von Krauser sets foot in America, blesses TWOstars with his presence and this, THIS is all I am welcomed with? A... a puny man in a cheap suit and stupid glasses?!

    Showing rarely seen bravery, Todd voices his offence to this statement.

    TG: Now see here, there’s nothing stupid about my glasses and...

    Interrupting Grisham’s protest, Battle Kaiser grunts an order in his native tongue.

    KK: Weg mit Ihnen, kleiner Mann!

    Lunging an arm out from behind his cape, Krauser wraps his hand around Todd’s head and gives him a mighty shove, forcing him out of view and taking his place as the centre of attention.

    KK: You there, camera-fellow! This broadcast is to all of TWOstars, yes?

    Cameraman: Y-yes.

    KK: Yes!

    Straightening up, The Kaiser clears his throat and brings both of his arms out from under his cloak, holding one out in front of him with a finger pointed upwards.

    KK: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Kaiser Krauser - a name you’d do well to remember. I come here not only for the glory of victory, but to show that I am the best, the most dominant force in the history of wrestling, to get my name the praise it deserves, a name that shall be held in high-esteem across the globe. But I don’t want you to worship me, no. YOU want to worship me.
    In my homeland I was pound for pound the greatest wrestler to ever set foot there, and that is a statement I say without hesitation, a statement that is all the more incredible when you realise that although the Greeks created wrestling, The Germans perfected it.

    The man clasps his hands together a small distance in front of his mouth.

    KK: Now, people of TWOstars, you have two options. One: bow down and accept your inferiority to me. Two: stand against me. And when ‘someone’ stands against me, I break ‘someone’s spine’ so they may stand no longer. I am Kaiser Krauser, I am wrestling royalty and I am going to beat you one day.

    Without another word, the large man departs to the same direction he arrived from, leaving us to stare at the empty stage for a few seconds longer before the cameraman has the sense to simply turn off.
    "I tried to donate an organ earlier today, but I couldn't fit it through the door."

 

 

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