WEB: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
TG: Didn’t we just watch him retire?
WEB: What a lead-in if ever there was one.
TG: Well, there we go, congratulations are in order for the Sick One – a legend in the business and a man who’s been around the block his fair share of times.
WEB: Shall we have a look over his past accolades just to help people who maybe don’t know a lot about him...
TG: Well Sickness was in ERE back in the day and won a King of the Ring way back in 2005. When he came over to TWOstars he found success winning the Tag Team championships in his very first match, however took the belts another twice – once more with Boyo and then with Jacey LaRoque as part of the Flaming Dark. He won an Ultimate King of the Ring – of course ending in the classic final against Drake Rush – and went on to win every single TWOstars title in an ‘All or Nothing’ cage match against Arron Winter in February 2009.
WEB: That means he held, all at once, the Triple Crown championship, the Television championship, the United states championship AND the Tag Team championship... ALL AT ONCE!
TG: That was a grand total of seven belts he was carrying around.
WEB: Having been around for so long, he’s feuded with everybody that’s ever passed through TWOstars – has evolved from a pain-immune monster to a fun-loving joker to the well respected locker room leader he is today.
TG: He’s only ever submitted ONCE in his career, and even found time to get inducted into the Hall of Fame and go undefeated for seven months in his most recent run with the company.
WEB: All of this has caused Sickness to become one of the most beloved superstars that the company has ever produced and given him every reason to top this list today.
TG: The match we’re using to pay tribute to our number one sees him last November challenging for the Triple Crown championship in a Scramble match.
WEB: It wasn’t a cut and dry affair though – he’d been told that if he didn’t win the title in this match then his contract not be renewed.
TG: Without giving too much away, I don’t think it’s any secret that Sickness is still with us today... but what exactly does that mean for the match result?
TWOstars – World War 2010
Triple Crown championship
Lucian L. Jones(c) VS Sickness VS Edward Samson VS Craig Van Dam VS Barry Gower
From the commercial for Battle Royale 2011 - where 30 men and women will compete for a chance to headline WrestleNova - we are taken back to the arena...
We cut to ringside. Stood in the center of the ring, microphone in hand, is TWOStars Master of Ceremonies Tony Chimmell. Next to Tony three stagehands are stood, each holding a different belt of the Triple Crown.
TC: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a 30 minute Scramble Match for the TWOStars Triple Crown Championship. There are no count outs or disqualifications in this match. Should a pin or submission be scored then the person who gained that victory will be the interim champion. At the end of the 30 minute time limit the last person to score the pinfall or submission will be recognised as TWOStars Triple Crown Champion! If no falls are scored in the 30 minutes then the championship will be declared vacant!
JR: Hold on, nobody mentioned that before.
PH: Only because you’re not worth letting into the loop.
TC: Introducing first…
The crowd start to boo as the former Triple Crown Champions music starts to play.
TC: Weighing in tonight at 234 pounds, he hails from County Durham, England. He is Craig Van Daaaaam.
The northern warrior emerges from behind the curtain and the booing intensifies. Craigs eyes fix on the ring, the three belts inside the squared circle almost hypnotising the former champion. A balled up piece of paper bounces off of CVDs head, bringing him out of his daze.
JR: I may not have much time for Craig Van Dam, but there’s no need for that!
PH: Respect JR, respect. That’s what these fans are missing, and not just these fans, but fans all over the world. Wherever Craig goes he gets booed, that’s not right.
JR: I’m not sure about that.
The Brit starts to head towards the ring, his eyes still fixed on the Triple Crown. As Craig walks the fans continue to boo and throw paper balls, a couple of them hit the former champ, but he ignores them.
PH: So who’s your prediction JR? I cant see past Gower or CVD.
JR: Well all the people in this match are top level athletes, I think it will come down to who wants it most. Lucian Jones wants to hold on to his Triple Crown, but remember that if Sickness doesn’t finish the match as champion then he’s to be fired.
JR: Edward Samson is always dangerous, and he’s been silent - as ever - over the match. I don’t know if he has the killer edge needed tonight for this match.
When the Northerner reaches the ring steps he nods up at Chimmell before climbing up and entering the ring. As the referee starts to check CVD for weapons his music fades.
TC: And introducing his first opponent in this match…
A shower of golden sparks fall from the rafters onto the entrance ramp as “Slam” by Pendulum begins to play.
Tonight, on this small planet, on Earth We’re about to rock civilization…
The music kicks in and the gold and blue pyro explodes around the entrance as Lucian L Jones emerges from the back.
TC: Weighing in tonight at 237lbs, and hailing from Jonestown. He is the Sultan of Swagga, the King of Bling. Lucian L. Jones!
The crowd explodes into cheers at the sight of their champion. Though once that bell rings that could be over though… Lucian is wearing his normal baggy shorts, but is without his hooded top. The champ is more focused than normal, almost to the point of ignoring the fans… almost. Jones takes the chance to high five a couple of kids on the way to the ring.
PH: Just look at him JR, look at him.
JR: What am I meant to be seeing Paul?
PH: That smug look, that arrogant demeanour and sociopath gleam in his eyes.
JR: I just see a focused Lucian Jones climbing into the ring.
PH: You need to look beyond superficial. You need to start to see the person underneath. Heck, I didn’t know Jones was black until I read his wiki page.
JR: You read his wiki page?
PH: That’s how I do my research.
Jones’s music fades out as the referee starts to check him for foreign objects. Chimmell leaves the ring as the two wrestlers start to loosen up ready for the match.
***DING DING DING***
Both men battle for leverage and Jones gets the upper hand. He gets CVD in a side headlock and yanks hard, and the crowd pops this.
JR: Great start by the Jonestown native.
PH: But it doesn't last very long. Craig is already working his way out.
CVD squirms out of the headlock, keeping hold of Lucians right arm and twists around to get Lucian into a hamerlock, then transitions into a headlock.
PH: Craig van Dam playing smart and wearing down Lucian Jones.
JR: Real smart. So smart that its how most matches begin. The innovator!
Jones manages to get a hand inbetween his head and the arm of the high flier. Jones strains a little and manages to break the hold. As Craig hesitates for a fraction of a second the King of Bling twists down and to the side of the former champion before grabbing his arm and twisting it into a beautiful arm wringer.
JR: Craig thought he’d come in with the technical advantage, Jones is proving that he shouldn’t have counted his chickens.
Lucian stands over the fallen Van Dam, holding on to his arm, before stepping over CVDs shoulder and falling on to his back, locking in an armbar.
PH: Come on ref, this is illegal.
JR: What?! How?
PH: He’s standing on his hair.
JR: Is there anything you wont make up?
The County Durham native stretches out to the ropes, his fingertips brushing the bottom one. Jones yanks back harder, but its not enough to stop the high flier from managing to grab the rope and the referee signals to Jones to release the submission.
JR: Lucian getting to his feet. Bah Gawd!
PH: Craig Van Dam with a schoolboy roll up. Hahaha.
JR: That was cheap.
PH: It was smart JR, Jones shouldn’t have turned his back on Van Dam.
The referee drops down to count the pinfall.
JR: But Lucian Jones kicks out easily.
Craig Van Dam and The Man They Call Lucy get to their feet quickly and CVD lunges in for a takedown but Lucian Jones counters with a knee to the descending jaw of the former champion. Craig gets to his feet looking rather wobbly and turns into an arm drag by The Sultan of Swagga. Jones takes advantage of CVDs dazed state and goes for a pin
JR: Could this be the first fall of the match?
JR: Kickout at two!
The two men get to their feet, Craig obviously shaking off the effects of the knee strike. The two men eye each other warily, they have faced each other enough to know not to underestimate each other. Suddenly Jones grins and straightens up a little, leaving CVD a little perplexed. Jones slowly raises one arm up at the elbow, fingers straight out. As Craig looks on Lucian starts doing The Robot Dance, much to the crowds delight.
PH: What the hell? What is he doing? And why the hell are the fans cheering this crap?
JR: Lucians a showman Paul, he’s just being himself.
PH: But The Robot?! Jesus…
CVD stands, hands on hips, shaking his head. It took him so long to get a rematch for the Triple Crown and now Jones is acting like a retarded 12 year old at his first school disco. As the Basileus of the Ballroom continues his dance Craigy has had enough and charges, but Jones had anticipated (planned on?) this and back body drops Van Dam over the top rope and to the floor!
JR: Hah, maybe Lucian Jones isn’t as stupid as you think Paul E. He suckered Craig Van Dam into a position where CVD would be hurt for very little effort.
PH: Smart? I’d say lucky. Lucian didn’t mean that, he was checking his bootlaces and straightened up just in time to throw Craig over. Lucky lucky lucky.
JR: And the more he practises the luckier he gets.
On the outside of the ring Craig manages to get to his feet and turns to face the ring. Lucian Legendary Jones starts to body pop as the crowd cheers, and Craig slams his hands on the ring apron in anger. I guess CVD just doesn’t get how the cool kids dance these days. The veteran wrestler walks around the ring, slowly heading towards the ring steps.
PH: I wonder who the next person in the match is JR. I hope its Sickness or Samson.
PH: Because then when Gower comes in last he will be fresh and able to beat everyone else with ease. Not that he’d not be able to beat them normally. Obviously.
JR: Sure, obviously.
As CVD climbs back into the ring, eyes locked onto Jones, and straightens up. Barely restrained anger shows on the normally stoic face of the former champion. Craigy marches over to His Highness of Flyness and raises one hand into the air, fingers flexing.
JR: Craig Van Dam challenging Lucian Jones to a test of strength here.
PH: Good thinking from Van Dam.
JR: I don’t know Paul E, have we really seen CVD utilise strength in the past? Normally we see him rely on his speed and agility.
PH: Jones is hardly known as a power player JR.
JR: Well Lucian seems to be rising to the challenge, the two men have locked hands.
As Jonesy starts to apply his strength the Durham native kicks Jones in the stomach, doubling him over in pain. The Sultan of Swing gasps for breath as Craigs face finally breaks into an almost smile. CVD drags the Jonestown native to a corner of the ring before starting to land hard right hands to his body.
JR: Van Dam concentrating on the ribs of Lucian Jones here.
PH: Good tactic JR, good tactic. If Jones cant breath then he cant fight, and he will be weakened for CVD’s frog splash.
The Englishman whips Lucian into the opposite corner. Jones slams chest first into the turnbuckle before staggering backwards into the center of the ring. Taking full advantage of Jones’s position Craig charges in and hit’s a massive clothesline to the back of Lucians head, knocking him face first to the mat.
PH: Hahaha, love it.
The crowd boo as the former champ raises both hands into the air in triumph before slamming his boot into the back of Jones’s neck. CVD runs at the ropes, rebounds, performs a forward roll and
JR: Rolling Thunder! Van Damn hitting the Rolling Thunder splash on Lucian Jones. Van Dam making the cover.
PH: This is it! Craig Van Dam is about to become champion.
JR: Interim champion Paul. And maybe.
THR… kickout to a cheer from the crowd.
CVD slaps the mat in anger before looking up at the time display in the corner of the TWOTron. According to the display we are 4.36 into the match, just over 5 minutes before the next entrant to the match. Craig nods to himself and grabs the head of Lucian as the champ tries to pull himself up. As the crowd boo Van Dam pulls Jones’s head between his legs, positioning him for the infamous package piledriver.
PH: This could be it now JR.
JR: Backbody drop! Jones countering the package piledriver with a backbody drop, and the crowd love it!
PH: Those idiots will lap up just about anything.
The Sultan of Staggering to His Feet, errrrr, staggers to his feet guess that nickname was amazingly apt. Jones turns around and spots the groaning CVD and, as the crowd cheers a little louder, the champ slaps his right leg to indicate its time for Craig Van Dam to get a taste of the Ghetto Blaster!
JR: Lucian L Jones just waiting now, waiting for Van Dam to get to his feet.
PH: Stay down Craig! Stay down!
CVD pulls himself up to his knees and Lucian starts his charge at the first of his challengers in this scramble match.
JR: GHETTO BLAS… NO! Craig Van Dam dodges, Lucian Jones off balance, spins around and … OH!
PH: Beautiful kick to the stomach of Jones.
CVD grabs the head of the doubled over champion and charges at the corner post, slamming the skull of Lucian off of the top turnbuckle when they get there. Lucian staggers backwards, dazed from the impact, and Craig follows up with a massive lariat to the chest of the Prince of Pugilism, sending him crashing to the canvas. CVD quickly follows him down and hooks the leg for the pinfall.
PH: For someone known as a high flier Craig Van Dam has damned impressive strength.
JR: I cant argue that Paul E.
JR: This must be getting frustrating for Van Dam. Only 3 minutes until the next entrant in this maTCh, and being up at this point could be a massive advantage.
PH: Like Craig needs an advantage! He held the Triple Crown and the ERE belt at the same time, who else has ever managed that?
In the ring Craig is arguing with the referee, insisting that the two count was a three! As is typical with this kind of classic heel mistake its giving the face a chance to recover his wits and get to his feet. The crowd cheer as Jones gets up, causing CVD to think they are cheering his impassioned pleas for the 3 count.
PH: Oh no…
The King of Bling grabs the shoulder of Craig and spins him around before landing a massive right hand to the face of the Durham native. CVD staggers backwards as Lucian launches a well paced attack.
LLJ: I’m Lucian L Jones
Lucian L Jones lands a final, massive, strike to CVD and the smaller man staggers backwards and falls out of the ring to a massive cheer from the fans in the arena. The Head Honcho of Hip Hop raises both arms in the air and yells to Craig as he starts to get to his feet
LLJ: And what beee-otch!?
On the outside of the ring Craig slams his hands onto the ring apron, frustration showing on his face. He’s spent almost as much time outside the ring as in it in this match now! Suddenly CVD spins around and starts arguing with someone in the front row, we cant make out what the argument is about but the fan isn’t backing down.
JR: Its unusual to see a veteran like Craig Van Dam make mistakes like he has in this match! This is the second time he’s turned his back on Lucian Jones.
PH: Its not stupidity, he’s just giving Jones a chance. OHNOLOOKOUT!
Lucian runs at the ring ropes and as Craig turns around Jones launches himself over the top rope, slamming his body into CVD and both men collapse to the floor.
JR: Tope suicida! That may well be a first for Lucian L Jones.
On the TWOTron the clock now shows 57 seconds until the next entrant in the Scramble Match.
PH: That was a stupid move by Jones. Now he has no time to properly recover before the next guy comes out. My moneys on Edward Samson by the way.
Slowly the two men start to pull themselves to their feet, Craig using the ring apron and Lucian using the crown barrier while a couple of kids in the front row pat him on the shoulder. As the countdown shows 45 seconds both men steady themselves and turn, causing them to be face to face.
JR: Hard right from Van Dam, blocked by Lucian Jones, punch by Jones to the face of Van Dam. Van Dam trying again, blocked again by Jones. Jones landing another punch. And another! And Van Dams had enough!
CVD quickly races away from Jones before rolling into the ring, followed closely by the Jonestown native. Craigy slams his foot down onto the back of Jones as he tries to get to his feet and the crowd start to count down the last ten seconds.
CVD drops down and applies a front facelock onto the prone Lucian Jones, wrenching back as hard as he can in the hope of getting the submission before the next entrant.
The referee checks with Lucian to see if he’s ready to quit, but the Duke of Jonestown holds out!
JR: Craig Van Dam looking a little frantic here Paul E.
PH: He wants to have won this by getting the pinfall in a one on one section of match JR.
PH: He wants the world to realise he can beat Jones.
JR: Well he seems to be out of luck Paul, Lucian Jones is fighting to get to the ropes.
The fingertips of Lucian brush the bottom rope…
… and he managed to grab hold! The referee quickly indicates to CVD to release the hold.
Craig snarls at the official and quickly releases the facelock, getting to his feet as the crowd chant
The crowd roars its approval as The Sick One emerges from the back and races down the ramp towards the ring. CVD stomps again on the back of Lucian, keeping the King of Shwing down.
TC: And introducing next to the match, weighing in at 235 pounds, he is Siiiickness!
‘Down With The Sickness’ fades out as the Mini Monster slides into the ring and lunges at Van Dam, taking the high flier down with an almost spear like manoeuvre. The two men start to roll around the canvas, punches being thrown by each of them.
JR: You guessed wrong Paul E! Sickness is here, and he’s fired up!
PH: Wouldn’t you be JR? This is his last chance, he has to win this match if he wants to stay employed by TWOStars.
JR: You could argue that he has more desire to win this match than anyone else tonight. Though I don’t know if anyone has ever wanted to be champion more than Lucian Jones.
CVD and Sickness are now on their feet, still exchanging blows, though Van Dam is obviously getting the worst of the fight and is landing maybe 1 blow for every 3 of Sickness’s. The exchange comes to an abrupt end as The Sick One plants a boot in the stomach of CVD before turning around and grabs his head
Craig falls backwards into the ring ropes, the steel cables springing the Northerner back towards Sickness who has quickly gotten to his feet in time to catch Van Dam with a devastating
JR: DDT! That’s the entire Cross Infection on Craig Van Dam!
PH: Sickness is covering Craig, someone stop him!
The referee drops down and starts to count the fall.
The crowd cheer as Jones starts to get to his feet.
His face locked into a snarl Sickness starts to bounce the head of the Hall of Fame hater off of the canvas while the referee tries to make him release Craig and stand up. Out of nowhere Lucian runs in and connects with a massive boot to the side of Sickness’s head, knocking the Wounded Animal out of the ring.
PH: Jones sure does like to send people out of the ring…
JR: Jones hooking the leg of Van Dam.
The referee drops and starts the count.
PH: Typical that Jones tries to steal someone else work.
JR: That’s a tad racist Paul.
PH: Are you Lil Mike?
Lucian barely skips a beat as he gets to his feet, dragging CVD up by his head. The two men hesitate as they see Sickness on the ring apron, the split second giving him enough time to springboard himself over the top rope.
JR: Double cross body by Sickness! And he’s covering both men!
The official drops down to count the pin.
PH: Do you think Sickness thinks its an elimination match?
JR: I’m not sure he thinks to be honest.
THRE… kickout by both CVD and Lucian Jones. Not missing a beat Sickness runs to the corner, jumps to the top turnbuckle and waits.
JR: Sickness perched on the turnbuckle like a monstrous bird of prey. Like a pterodactyl from eons past.
PH: You need to stop watching The Discovery Channel.
As Lucian starts to get to his feet Sickness launches himself off the top, rotating backwards in a shooting star manoeuvre before crashing down knees first into the head of the now crouching triple Crown champion.
JR: Modified November Echo! And that’s all she wrote folks, I cant see even Lucian Jones kicking out of that.
The Mini Monster quickly covers the King of Cool and the zebra drops down to count the fall.
CVD starts to stir a couple of feet away.
The Durham native spots the cover and lunges at Sickness.
THR…. CVD breaks up the cover with fractions of a second to spare as the crowd boos!
JR: Craig Van Dam seemingly forgetting that he doesn’t lose this match if Sickness gets the first fall.
PH: It’s the instinct of a natural born wrestler JR. CVD is working on automatic and STILL is a better wrestler than Sickness and Jones. Huh, sounds like a TV cop show.
The Sick One quickly clambers to his feet and looks down at the two exhausted wrestlers on the ground. Sickness slowly stretches out his left leg and massages the knee. As Craig starts to drag himself up Sickness takes a run at the ropes, the momentum from hitting them adding speed to the run of Sicky. Just as CVD gets to his feet Sickness leaves his and lands a massive dropkick to the chest of the former champion.
JR: Nice dropkick from Sickness there. But I have to question the tactic, especially with him seeming to have issues with his knee again! In a match like this sacrificing yourself to beat a single, or even two, opponents leaves you open to the rest of the combatants.
PH: That’s true JR. I’m not a fan of Sickness, he’s lost his edge, but he can still be dangerous and can never be counted out. But he’s getting old, hell until this last year did anyone know Boyo was old enough to have a fully grown son? Combine that with his high impact brawling style and you have a recipe for a broken down body.
The Mini-Monster gets hold of Jones and drags the champ woozily to his feet.
JR: Well broken down or not, if there’s one thing Sickness has proven time and time again, it’s that he will not quit until his body absolutely gives out him.
PH: Well dependant on the outcome of this match, it may not be Sickness’ decision as to whether he quits or not.
Sickness takes just a second too long pulling Lucian to his feet, allowing His Highness of Flyness time to fling both arms up, swatting the hands of the Sickstar away. Jones flicks out a right hand, slapping Sickness clean on the left cheek, staggering the only Ultimate Champion back a step or two.
JR: Good grief, Jones lands a hell of a stinger to Sickness there...but what’s this? Jones isn’t following up?
Sickness rubs his reddened cheek, a gleeful look in his eye, as Lucian jaw jacks at the challenger.
JR: Now’s not really the best time to be having a conversation, wouldn’t you say?
PH: In this kind of match every second counts, so I don’t understand why Jones isn’t going on the offensive?
Sickness too joins in the smack talking, both he and Jones approaching each other in the centre of the ring. We can’t make out exactly what’s being said, but we can see Sickness gesturing towards his own waist, using both hands to make the universal wrestling sign language for “me want title belts”.
PH: We’re here to see a wrestling match damnit! Not a mother’s meeting!!
As the two men continue to argue in the centre of the ring, a duelling chant breaks out between the capacity crowd in the arena:
LET’S GO SICK-NESS!!
LET’S GO JONES!!
LET’S GO SICKNESS!!
LET’S GO JONES!!
As Jones and Sickness continue to argue and bicker, the camera picks out CVD rising back to his feet, rubbing his chest gingerly.
JR: Well it seems like one third of this match so far has been forgotten about Paul.
PH: You never take your eyes off Craig Van Dam, Jim. This man can strike from anywhere at anytime, which makes him one of the, if not THE most dangerous man in this business!
With a look of rage on his face, Van Dam charges towards the unsuspecting Sickness and Jones...
JR: Van Dam on the attack...
...only to find both men parting like the Red Sea! Both Jones and Sickness grab CVD by the back of the head, running him towards the ropes, flinging him up and over the top and crashing down to the outside...
...before stepping back towards the centre of the ring, still locked in their inaudible war of words.
JR: Well obviously Jones and Sickness were paying more attention than we gave them credit for!
Sickness and Jones continue to argue, the Mini-Monster prodding a finger into the chest of the Triple Crown Champion to get his point across. Lucian responds to this by giving Sickness a shove back...
...which is responded to by Sickness shoving Jones right back.
JR: Hold on folks, it looks like business could be about to pick up!
Lucian cocks a sly half smile, almost as if saying to himself “here we go”, before launching forwards and cracking a right handed shot to the face of the Sickstar...
PH: Ooof! I felt that one!
Sickness replies with a right hand of his own, cracking the King of Bling cleanly on the jaw, causing Jones to stagger back a step.
JR: Wow, a scorching right hand from Sickness! I think everybody in the arena felt that one!
Sickness fires up, landing right hand after right hand to Jones, backing the champion up into the ropes. Sicko pushes Jones back, arcing the Duke of Jonestown’s back over the top rope, before landing a stinging knife edge chop across the champion’s chest.
PH: That had to hurt!
Lucian leans forward, coughing for breath, his arms crossed protectively over his rapidly reddening chest. Not being well renowned for his merciful attitude, sickness pulls Jones arms away, grasping the King of Bling by the throat, and again forcing him to arc over the top rope, displaying his chest as a nice big target. Sickness licks the palm of his free hand, before grinning sadistically and bringing it down hard on the exposed chest of Jones with a resounding “THWAKK!”
Lucian falls forwards this time, dropping to his knees, his arms again instinctively crossing over his torso to attempt to protect himself.
JR: Well the champion looks to be in a bad way. Those blows from Sickness would appear to have knocked the air clean out of the lungs of His Highness of Flyness!
Jones gasps for breath as Sickness drags him back to his feet by his hair. Sickness again backs Jones into the ropes, this time electing to fire the champion towards the opposite strands.
JR: Jones sent for the ride here, and what evil intentions could Sickness have in mind?
As Jones hits the strands and rebounds back towards Sickness, The Mini Monster leaps towards Jones, throwing his right arm towards the throat of the Sultan of Swagga...
PH: He’s looking to take Jones’ head clean off!!
...which Lucian manages to somehow duck beneath...
JR: But the champ avoids it! Jones hitting the ropes again...
Lucian continues his journey, hitting the ropes and returning towards the turning Sick One...
JR: Jones just steamrolls Sickness with that shoulder block! Did you see Sickness’ head bounce off the canvas? That was not a good landing!
Jones stands over Sickness, looking down at the dazed former Ultimate Champion, before hitting the ropes to his right.
JR: Jones is looking to build up some momentum he...what the?
As Lucian hits the ropes, he suddenly drops face first to the canvas. As the camera angle changes to give us a better view, we can see that CVD has gripped both ankles of Jones, and yanks him roughly out of the ring.
PH: What did I tell you? You can’t take your eyes off Van Dam for a second. Stealth, speed, agility, all reasons why Craig is The Total Package!
Van Dam grabs Jones by the hair, dragging him backwards across the ringside area, and crashing his back and back of his head into the ringside barricade.
PH: Now that’s more like it!
JR: Just unrepentant violence from Van Dam there...and now look at this!
Craig smirks at the jeering crowd, slowly raising both hands and gesturing to himself 3 times with the old “three thumb salute”.
JR: Van Dam isn’t making any friends tonight!
PH: Who needs friends when you’re going to end the night as Triple Crown Champion?!
In the ring The Mini Monster has recovered his wits and looks up at the clock counting down on the TWOTron, we have only 12 seconds until the next wrestler enters the match! Sickness grins and leans back against the ropes to relax as Jones and CVD continue to fight outside the ring. As the clock reaches 10 the crowd starts to count down alongside it.
JR: Sickness doing the smart thing here!
PH: Not quite as stupid as you thought JR.
JR: I never said stupid! I said he was unwise.
Craig and Lucian, seemingly unaware of the countdown, start to brawl up the ramp with neither man having the upper hand.
PH: Seems to be the same difference to me JR.
JR: It would do, considering your terrible grasp of the English language.
PH: What’s that supposed to mean?
JR: See what I mean?
PH: Come on Barry Gower, show these guys how to wrestle.
The crowd explode into boo’s as the music of The Master of Pain blares out over the arena speakers. Sickness grins, he cant wait to get his hands on Gower again after the last month or so. CVD and Jones just continue to brawl near the top of the ramp.
TC: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the next competitor. Weighing in tonight at 285 pounds, from Belfast, Northern Ireland, he is Baaaaaaarry Gooooweeeer!
The Belfast Monster charges out from behind the curtain and slams his massive arms into both CVD and Lucian Jones, the double clothesline sending both men crashing to the metal ramp.
JR: BAH GAWD! Gower nearly decapitating Craig Van Dam and Lucian L Jones!
In the ring Sickness waves at The Bazman, indicating to the Belfast Bully to ‘bring it’, and Gower isn’t planning on disappointing. Baz charges to the ring, a massive smile on his face, and slides in under the bottom rope before quickly getting to his feet and walking straight up to Sickness. The two old enemies go toe to toe, both talking what we can only assume to be trash, though with Sickness it could be his laundry list!
PH: Barry Gower showing he’s not intimidated by Sickness. Sickness showing he’s stupid by not respecting the prowess of Gower and just trash talking here.
JR: Sometimes I wonder if double standards register in your brain at all! Jones back up to his feet now.
Sickness takes a step backwards and suddenly drops to the mat and rolls onto his stomach. As Gower looks on in confusion The Sick One raises his left foot into the air and starts giggling to himself.
JR: Sickness offering himself for an Ankhell Lock!
PH: Now that really is stupid.
Barry grabs hold of Sickness’s ankle and twists! Sickness starts to writhe in pain as Gower twists with all his strength, but he doesn’t submit. The Sick One alternates between grinning and grimacing as he slowly tries to drag himself over to the ring ropes.
JR: Maybe Sickness is trying to prove a point to Barry Gower, no excuses for him not being able to make Sickness submit. Sickness allowing Gower to apply that deadly submission hold while he’s at full strength and fresh into the match.
PH: And can Sickness escape? This could is the proverbial immoveable object and irresistible force.
As the fingertips of The Mini Monster brush the bottom rope Gower forcibly drags Sickness back into the middle of the ring. The crowd starts to boo as The Master of Pain kicks Sickness in his raised knee, the one still damaged from months back. The boos become cheers when from out of nowhere Jones flies into the ring and hit’s a massive forearm smash to Gower, sending the near 300 pounder to the outside.
JR: Considering he’s a heavyweight Lucian Jones can fly with the best of them, not unlike both Sickness and Crag Van Dam.
PH: Do I look like I care JR? Do I? Really? Because if I do then I’m giving out the wrong impression.
JR: A touch of an over-reaction there Paul.
PH: Barry Gower was about to score the first win of the match, by making SICKNESS submit, and all you can do is jabber on about Jones.
Jones quickly gets to his feet and takes a step towards the ring ropes, preparing to propel himself over the top when Sickness suddenly rolls up Lucian with a schoolboy pin! The referee quickly drops down and starts to count the fall.
JR: Sickness could be about to score the first pin of the match,
PH: Hahaha, Sickness taking advantage of Jones, I love it!
TC: Ladies and gentlemen the first fall at 17 minutes 15 seconds, and so interim champion, Siiiickneeessss!
The crowd reaction is mostly positive, but a few people are booing that he pinned Jones. Lucian himself is looking annoyed at having been pinned by such a basic manoeuvre. The Sick One and The King of Bling get to their feet at the same time, the two friends locking eyes. Jonesy shakes his head in disgust, getting pinned is one thing but being Pearl Harboured!? Not cool Sickness, not cool.
JR: Now this match has changed, now Sickness has to ensure that nobody else scores a pin or submission or his advantage will be destroyed.
PH: Oh my, things are about to get bad for Sickness. An angry Jones in the ring, Barry Gower climbing back in behind him and Craig Van Dam climbing in the opposite.
With all four men back in the ring the crowd start to get excited again, the buzz from the pinfall not even having had time to abate before dialling back up! Each of the foursome are looking focused, even the fun loving Jones is intent on the men around him. CVD makes a lunge at Lucian, but pulls back as Jones directs a punch at his head.
JR: Mexican stand off here Paul E. Nobody wants to make the first move and risk taking punishment.
PH: Why Mexican? Are you racist JR?
JR: I’m not racist, I’d rather have Lil Mike on commentary than you.
Sickness looks from side to side before shrugging and lunging at Gower. The momentary distraction allowing Van Dam to attack Jones again, more successfully this time. A double axe handle to the back of Sickness’s neck knocks the interim champ to the mat, moments later Jones slams down besides him after a vicious uppercut from the Durham high flier. CVD and Bazza exchange glances of mutual approval, their close history enabling them to work together without verbal communication. Of course the fact that the history was almost entirely as foes explains why the moment Gower bends down to grab Sickness CVD charges in!
JR: Van Dam with a Codebrea… no, Gower’s caught Van Dam in mid leap!
Van Dam lands a couple of punches to the head of his former ‘owner’, but The Former King Of The Mountain keeps his grip on the smaller man before taking a couple of steps forwards and posing.
PH: Now THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is how to showboat!
Gower tenses his body and throws CVD over his head! The body of the Durham native lands on top of Sickness, knocking the wind out of his body! Gower turns around to continue the assault but is cut off by a boot to the stomach from the now vertical Lucian Jones. The Ambassador of Awesome moves around to the back of Gower and wraps his arm around the neck of the bigger man, pulling his body backwards until Barry is trapped in a Dragon Sleeper.
JR: We all know what’s going to happen next! Its time for Barry Gower to get K.T.F.O.’ed!
Jones salutes the fans and leaps over Gower, driving the head of the Belfast native into the mat! Jones drops down and hooks the leg of Gower for the pinfall and the official counts the pin.
PH: At least if Jones wins we get rid of Sickness!
JR: Sickness breaking up the fall! Jones rolling to the outside to reco… OH! Dropkick to Sickness from Craig Van Dam.
PH: Sickness knocked to the outside, this is Craigs chance!
CVD has hooked the leg of Gower and the official drops to count the pinfall.
JR: Jones and Sickness both back to their feet on the outside.
JR: Sickness slamming Jones into the steel steps.
TC: Ladies and gentlemen the latest fall at 19 minutes and 10 seconds of the match, and new current interim champion, Craig Van Daaaaaaaam!
Craig jumps to his feet, arms raised in the air in celebration as the crowd boo!
PH: LOOK OUT CRAIG!
Behind the high flier Sickness stands up like a leviathan from legend and wraps one arm across the neck of Craig to pull CVDs right arm across his own throat while trapping the right arm of The Sick One between CVDs arm and head. The Mini Monster falls backwards, dragging Craig down with him, and applies a body scissors to squeeze the breath out of Van Dams body.
JR: SICKNOTE! SICKNOTE! SICKNOTE!
Craig tries to escape the hold, but Sickness has it locked in perfectly and the Durham native is virtually paralysed in his grip! Moments later CVD taps desperately and the referee tells The Sick One to release the hold.
TC: Ladies and gentlemen, the most recent fall, by means of submission, has been scored at 19 minutes and 16 seconds of the match by the new interim champion Siiiiickneeeessssssss!
Sickness releases the Tazmission and rolls away from the coughing CVD, eyes darting from side to side as he checks to make sure nobody is close enough to score a pinfall over the Northerner and so negate his submission.
PH: That’s typical Sickness, he wouldn’t even give someone a chance to celebrate before attacking them from behind.
JR: Those are the rules of the match Paul E, if Craig left himself open to attack he has nobody but himself to blame. Sickness took advantage of Craig Van Dams error, an error you normally wouldn’t associate with a veteran like Craig.
Gower climbs back onto the apron, but Sickness spots him and charges at the Belfast monster before dropkicking him back to the ground! The distraction allowing Lucian Jones to slide into the ring before The Mini Monster can do anything to stop him. Jones and Sickness stare at each other across the ring as Craig, ignored by everyone, starts to pull himself to his feet with the ring ropes.
PH: Listen to those fans JR, they’re cheering on Craig Van Dam to get to his feet. They cant wait to see him beat the crap out of dumb and dumber there.
The two fan favourites charge at each other, Jones aims a clothesline at the SickStar. Sickness ducks, spins around and swings a punch at Lucian. The Jonestown native blocks the strike and throws a punch of his own that catches Sickness right in the temple and staggers him backwards. Jones follows up with a second, then a third! A fourth punch staggers The Mini Monster back into the ropes. On the outside Gower grabs the legs of his former ERE foe and trips him to the ground before pulling him outside the ring. Before Lucian can follow to the outside CVD spins him around and Irish whips him to the ropes.
JR: Here we go Paul, 10 seconds until the next, and final, entrant into this match!
Jones rebounds and is caught with a spinning heel kick to the face, sending him crashing to the canvas.
Craig launches himself into the air from standing and rotates before gravity retakes over and he falls to the mat, dropping an elbow into the chest of the downed Spokesman of Supercoolness. The spectacle of the manoeuvre stopping the crowd from counting down and causing them to applaud and cheer!
PH: Once again Craig showing the innovation that earned him the Triple Crown.
JR: Van Dam pinning Jones, but hes failed to hook the leg.
THR…kickout by Jones!
On the outside of the ring Sickness and Barry Gower are exchanging punches, the Beast from Belfast landing two punches to every one of Sickness’s, and yet the smaller man seems to somehow be getting the edge over Gower!
JR: Here we go Paul, prepare for Edward Samson!
Sickness lands a knee into the midriff of Gower, doubling over the Belfast native.
The crowd EXPLODE into cheers as The Executioners music starts to play. On the outside Sickness and Gower stop brawling and turn to face the ramp, in the ring Jones and Van Dam get to their feet and prepare for Samson to appear! Every soul in the match preparing for the arrival of the biggest, and arguably most dangerous, man in the match.
TC: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the final competitor in this scramble match; weighing in tonight at 355 pounds, he is The Executioner Edward SAAAAAAAMSOOOOOON!
The fan noise escalates as Special Ed steps into view, the roar of the crowd energising the monster. Ignoring Sickness Gower marches up towards the top of the ramp, his Alpha Male instincts aroused by another bull-like man monster in the vicinity. The Masked Monstrosity spots Gower heading towards him and storms down to meet him.
JR: Bah Gawd Paul, look at this! Barry Gower and Edward Samson, two of the biggest guys in TWOStars history. This will be a sight for the ages.
PH: Do you remember the Edward Samsons Triple Crown win in the submissions elimination chamber? Samson made Barry Gower submit, only the second man to achieve that feat. Now its time for Barry to get revenge!
Gower holds one hand up in the air, challenging the Masked Man to a test of strength as the others look on. Edward doesn’t even hesitate to take up the challenge and locks hands with Gower.
Crowd: Lets go Samson! *clap, clap, clapclapclap* Lets go Samson!
The two men grapple with all their might, the face of Samson utterly unreadable behind his mask, but Gower is obviously struggling to stay stood upright! Slowly, inch by inch, The Belfast Bully is forced downwards under the massive force of Edward Samson. As Gower finally drops to one knee Sickness, still at the base of the ramp, starts to applaud. Him and The Executioner may not ever be friends but he recognises raw power!
PH: HAHAHA! Craig Van Dam has attacked Jones while Jones was busy watching Samson!
In the ring CVD has Lucian in a hammerlock, Jones reaches for the ropes but the Durham high flier spins Lucian around and throws him over his shoulder in a beautiful snapmare. Craigy follows Jones down and applies a chinlock from behind the stunned Master of Magnificence.
At the base of the ramp Sickness has moved to one side and is sat on the crowd barrier, not to chat, he’s just busy watching both sets of fighters going at it! Gower is now down on both knees and Sammy isn’t letting up! Special Ed yanks forward and brings his knee up into Gowers chin as it jerks forward, knocking the former ERE member out cold! As Baz slumps to the ground Edward turns his cold, dead eyes onto Sickness and the crowd cheer their approval as they remember the epic battles these two psychopaths have had in the past.
JR: Edward Samson walking determinedly towards Sickness. Despite the few minutes left in the match Samson is in no rush!
PH: The Executioner is like a glacier, slow and impersonal, but utterly lethal and unstoppable! Sickness knows this.
JR: And yet he wont back down from the challenge!
Sickness gets to his feet and then crouches on the barrier, once Eddie is close enough to him The Sick One launches himself at the far bigger man! The crowd gasp as Samson catches Sickness in mid air and in one fluid motion alters his grip and raises Sickness above his head in a military press. Samson takes a couple of steps towards the barrier and with a massive heave
JR: OH MY GOD! Sickness has been thrown into the front row! Edward Samson has tossed Sickness into the crowd like hes The Rocks elbow pad!
PH: Why would Edward Samson be throwing The Rocks elbow pad?
Now Gower and Sickness have been dealt with Eddie turns to stare at the ring and the two men brawling within. Lucian Jones is slamming the head of Craig Van Dam off of the corner turnbuckle furthest from Samson, a thin trickle of blood starting to appear on the head of the veteran high flier. Jones releases the head of CVD and backs off as Craig falls backwards. The Czar of Crazy Dyslexia (work that one out yourself!) takes a couple more steps backwards, signalling for Craig to get up as he does so… until he backs right into the hulking figure of Edward Samson.
JR: Whatever plans Lucian Jones had for Van Dam are on the back burner now!
The Jonestown native puts his hands backwards over his head where they come into contact with the mask of Special Ed. Lucians hands freeze as he realises what he’s touching, and his head drops down in resignation. Slowly Lucian turns around and finds himself eye to eye with the 350 pounder.
PH: Barry Gower trying to get himself up on the outside, with less than 9 minutes to go he needs to hurry up and get involved again.
JR: The same could be said for Craig Van Dam and Sickness!
Both Lucian and Eddie throw punches at the same time, the powerful strike from Samson staggering the Head Honcho of Hip Hop, but the punch from the Black Prince doesn’t even register on Samson! Special Ed follows up on Jones with a second punch, then a massive head butt fells the defending champion! Lucian L Jones rolls backwards with the momentum and gets to his feet before Eddie can take advantage further.
PH: Jones doing his impression of a clown once more.
JR: Clown?! That was some impressive athletics from Lucian Jones!
As Jones and Samson lock up in a collar and elbow tie up Barry Gower rolls his way into the ring and Craig Van Dam finally gets to his feet. On the outside Sickness is clambering back over the crowd barrier. Finally all 5 men in the match look to be getting into the fight at once, and the crowd know it! The cheers start to build up as Sickness rolls into the ring, so now all five men are eyeing each other warily.
JR: Here we go Paul, 8 minutes left to go in the match. Sickness is currently the interim champion, can he stay on top?
PH: If not then we can all sleep happy knowing he’s in the unemployment office rather than wasting TV time.
As the five men slowly circle each other the crowd continue to get louder and louder, the cheers filling the arena. None of the men seem to want to break the deadlock, each knowing that to make the first move would leave them wide open to an attack from the others. Jones narrows his eyes and stares at Van Dam, but Craig is intently watching Edward Samson! The Executioner has his gaze resting on Gower and the big Brit is focused on Lucian.
But nobody is paying attention to Sickness!
The Mini Monster just shrugs and charges at Samson, grabbing the legs of the monster in an attempted double leg takedown. Taking his chance to make a mark Gower takes a quick step forward, then he steps up on the back of Sickness and using the momentum brings his knee up and slams it into the masked face of Edward Samson!
JR: Modified shining wizard style manoeuvre by Barry Gower! The distraction allowing Lucian Jones to attack Van Dam. Van Dam retaliating, blocked by Jones, Lucian landing a big right hand to CVD and … OH! Low blow by CVD!
As Sickness, Gower and Samson brawl on one side of the ring CVD is laying into Jones with some amazingly accurate blows to the head. Craig grabs the head of the Man They Call Lucian (Brummies aren’t great with nicknames) and pulls it between his thighs while yelling ‘Its Time’. Craig pulls up and drops down, slamming the head of the champ off of the mat!
PH: PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! that’s it, its all over now!
JR: Craig Van Dam wanting to make certain Lucian is put away and is going to the top rope.
With an almost agonising lack of speed the Durham native climbs to the top rope in preparation for the Frog Splash! CVD makes it to the top and gets to his feet, suddenly Gower sprints across the ring and runs up the corner post, hoisting CVD onto his shoulders as he does so! Bazza takes a deep breath, mutters something that we cant quite catch and then launches himself and Craig form the top…
The crowd go freakin apesh*t as CVD is slammed to the mat, the back of his neck impacting with enough force to bounce the smaller man to the side and out of the ring!
JR: MY GOD! A top rope Burning Hammer! Is there any move as devastating as that?!
PH: Devastating? The most devastating thing is he did it to Craig! He should have used it on Jones!
As Sickness slams the face of Edward Samson off of the corner pad Barry Gower looks around, almost in confusion. The Belfast native spots the still prone Jones and quickly covers him, hooking the leg and placing his elbow across Jones’s throat. The camera catches Barry say ‘stay down’ at Lucian as the referee drops to count the pin.
JR: Did the package piledriver do enough damage? Will Lucian be able to kick out?
PH: The Package Piledriver is so deadly JR!
The crowd start to boo as Jones fails to kick out from the pin. Gower slowly gets to his feet as Chimmel starts to speak.
TC: Ladies and gentlemen, the most recent fall…
While Gower is looking the other way Sickness quickly covers the still prone Lucian Jones.
TC: …has been scored at 23 minutes and 46 seconds of the match.
TC: And your current interim champion
TC: Barry Gooooooweeeeeer!
Hearing the pinfall being counted Gower turns just in time to see the final count being made! The Master of Pain lunges at Sickness but is cut off by a clothesline from Edward Samson!
TC: Ladies and gentlemen the most recent fall in the match, at 23 minutes and 56 seconds of the match, was scored by the new interim champion Sickneeeeessss!
JR: Tonight Sickness has taken every chance he possibly can to make sure he walks away with the Triple Crown… and his job. And listen to the crowd cheer, they don’t want to lose him.
PH: They may be out of luck.
Sickness backs off to one corner of the ring and watches Samson and Gower fight it out! The Belfast Bastard slams a meaty fist into the face of Edward Samson, but again the Masked Master of Magnificent Mayhem doesn’t react!
JR: Samson is a machine!
PH: Like a terminator.
JR: A what?
PH: Thirty year old pop culture, you’ll understand sometime in the next decade.
A second punch fails to phase Special Ed, then a third just makes him slowly shake his head and Gower starts to back off… and falls over the now crouching Lucian Jones! The Jonestown native hooks the leg and neck of Gower, but before the referee can drop to count the pinfall Sickness darts in and stomps on the back of Jones in order to break the pin!
JR: Uh oh Paul, a medical team is at ringside checking on Craig Van Dam. That Burning Hammer must have caused far more damage than we thought.
As the EMTs place CVD on a stretcher Edward Samson lifts Jones to his feet and tosses the slimmer man into the corner before starting to throw punches into the midriff of the champ. Sickness looks around and grins at the carnage around him before soccer kicking Gower as the former King of the Mountain tries to get to his feet!
JR: Sickness with a Pele.
PH: God damn it, I hate Sickness, possibly as much as I hate any man on the damn planet.
[b]JR[/b[: In just over 5 minutes if things stay as they are, he will be the new TWOStars Triple Crown Champion.
PH: Thanks for the reminder.
Samson causes Jones to drop to his backside in the corner which gives The Sick One the opening to move in behind The Executioner and hit him with a forearm right into the right side of his body.
JR: Sickness with a shot right to the kidneys and monster or no monster, Samson will have felt that.
Edward turns around and angrily drives the inside of his arm into the throat as he takes the current interim champion down to the canvas via the use of a hard hitting lariat.
PH: Pin him!
The Executioner quickly drops to the ground where he hooks the leg of Sickness, looking for the pinfall.
PH: That’s it.
PH: Come on!!
Th…. Sickness rolls out the shoulder.
JR: Sickness clinging on, Paul.
PH: Come on, anyone. I would even rather Jones got a pinfall damn it!
JR: CVD is away on the stretcher leaving Sickness with just three other men now to worry about.
Gower makes his way back up to his feet where he grabs Samson from behind and spins him around taking him in to a front face lock as he looks to hoist him up into the air to execute a vertical suplex. However The Executioner manages to use his left leg to block off any attempts to lift him up into the air.
JR: Nice block by Samson.
Jones quickly moves out of the corner and grabs Gower around the neck as both he and Samson hoist Gower up in to the air and move over to the side of the ring where the rampway leads to the squared circle.
JR: This doesn’t look good for The Master of Pain!
The King of Bling and The Executioner just toss Gower over the top rope and causing him to fall straight down, face first on to the arena floor. The crowd cheer as the body of the Belfast Bastard impacts with the mats and lays still.
PH: Dammit! Barry Gower looks to be knocked cold, and with four and a half minutes left of the match he needs to recover damned quickly!
Sickness charges at the two men stood by the ropes, but somehow they sense him coming and sidestep apart. As Sickness tries to stop his momentum Samson grabs the back of his head and just throws the SickStar over the top rope, sending him crashing onto the body of Barry Gower!
JR: And that leaves just two in the ring!
PH: Lucian L Jones and Edward Samson… Samson is such a waste JR! When he was with Thorp he has limitless potential, now he’s just a damned puppy dog.
JR: Puppy dog? Edward Samson is a masked pitbull!
Samson and Jones lock up next to the ropes, Eddie quickly gets the advantage and Irish whips the lighter Lucian into the opposite ropes. Jones springs back, ducks a clothesline, rebounds from the ropes, ducks an elbow, spins on the spot and
JR: Spinning heel kick! Edward Samson is staggered! For the first time tonight Edward Samson is looking in trouble!
As Special Ed staggers backwards Lucian quickly gets to his feet and lands a massive dropkick to the chest of Samson, again Jones quickly gets back up and aims a nasty kick at the thigh of Samson. As the Masked Monster lifts his leg in pain Jones lands yet another dropkick to the chest of Samson and this time the impact is enough to knock the big man off of his feet to a massive pop from the crowd!
JR: Jones is fired up! Four minutes left in the match and he knows he needs to score the fall. The question is, can Edward Samson be pinned in that time?
PH: Good question JR. We know that Samson has a massive tolerance for pain, but even the man with the highest endurance can be felled with a single well aimed punch.
Lucian mounts the chest of Eddie and starts to throw punches to the skull of the monster. Each blow bounces the head of Edward off of the mat, doubling the damage to Samson.
JR: Lucian Jones working over the head of Edward Samson, I assume in preparation for either the Ghetto Blaster or the KTFO.
Lucian quickly gets to his feet and throws a fist up into the air in salute to the crowd. Amazingly this two second break is all it takes for Samson to be able to start to climb to his feet! Jones charges at Samson and throws himself at the Executioner, attempting a Stinger Splash away from the turnbuckle. Edward roars in anger and just swats Lucian to the ground in mid leap like King Kong with a biplane! Edward Samson looks around to the TWOTron to check the time left, the screen display showing us we have 3 minutes 47 seconds left of the match.
PH: Where’s Barry Gower? Is he still down?
JR: He certainly is Paul E, both Gower and Sickness are laid out side by side outside the ring. More importantly look at Edward Samson! He has Lucian Jones held up over his head like he weighs nothing.
The Dead Eyed Killer drops Jones down to the mat in front of him, his face following the fall all the way! After Lucian impacts with the ground Samson lands a massive kick to the ribs of the champ, the power lifting His Highness of Flyness off the ground for a second! As Edward lands a second kick, seemingly slow but with massive force, on the outside The Sick One starts to climb to his feet, blood showing on his teeth!
PH: Oh great! That’s Sickness back in the match. Why are the three men left in the ones I want to lose?
JR: Your inability to correctly judge a wrestler?
PH: Cant be, I hired Chris Benoit, Mike Awesome and Taz.
JR: A murderer, a suicide and a fat announcer. Well done.
PH: Yeah, God help us having fat announcers.
Eddie sits on the back on Jones and pulls the arms of Lucian over his knees before grabbing the King of Bling around the neck and pulling back. Immediately Jones yells out in pain.
JR: The Stocks! The Stocks! The Stocks! Edward Samson has Lucian Jones trapped in that hellish submission manoeuvre. A move that Jones himself uses and calls The Sheiky Special in tribute to the great Iron Sheik.
Slowly the body of Edward Samson pulls back further and further, the Murder Machine is in no rush, slow and steady wins the race! Referee Doan is on his knees in front of the champ, asking if he wants to give up. The Man They Call Lucian (as that’s his name) grunts out that No he’s not giving in. Jones tries to push backwards, hoping to dislodge the massive form of Edward, but The Masked Murder Machine refuses to budge and Jones is starting to waiver.
PH: Whats that idiot doing now?
The Mini Monster has positioned himself on the top turnbuckle, his face excited by the danger to come. With a massive leap Sickness launches himself off the top and twists his body in a picture perfect shooting star press. As Sickness impacts Samson, breaking up the submission, the crowd starts to chant.
Crowd: HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!
The former Dark Alliance member rolls away in pain, the impact on Samson really taking it out of him. The Major of Mayhem gets to his feet, slowly, deliberately, despite the little over 3 minutes left of the match Samson is in no rush. He knows he is unstoppable. The Masked Monster turns around to look at the grimacing Sickness and quickly eliminates him as a threat in his mind before turning back to Lucian Jones, but that couple of seconds was enough for His Highness of Flyness to recover and struggle to his feet and so Eddie turns right into a massive punch to the side of his head.
Jones lands a second punch and the crowd starts to chant along.
*pun…* Samson ducks the last punch, gets behind Jones and punches… Jones blocks and
The crowd cheer as the final punch knocks special Ed to the ground. Lucian bounces from the ropes and drops an elbow onto the chest of The Beast. Lucian stays down and hooks the leg of Samson and the referee quickly counts the fall.
JR: The champ is about to get his belt back safe and sound!
PH: From an elbow drop? Is he The Rock?
THR…kickout with one hell of a lot of force! The momentum from the kickout spinning both men over and Lucian takes advantage of the movement, twisting his legs around those of Edward Samson and locking in a small package! The referee restarts the count.
JR: Oh no, a pin from a small package, who does he think he is? Bob Backlund?
PH: Sarcasm doesn’t become you JR.
The crowd EXPLODE into cheers as their hero gets back on track!
TC: Ladies and gentlemen, the latest fall is at 28 minutes and 3 seconds of the match, and your NEW interim champion Lucian L Joooooones!
The Sick One forces himself up and runs at Lucian, slamming into his back and collapsing the two of them to the mat. Sickness grabs the back of Jones’s head and starts to slam his forehead into the canvas. After the fifth slam of the head Jones goes limp and Sickness quickly changes position and locks the Sicknote Tazmission onto the dazed Lucian L Jones.
JR: Throughout this match Sickness has been determined to keep on top, I don’t know which matters most to him, winning the Triple Crown or not being fired!
PH: I just hope Jones can hold on, the less I see of Sickness the better!
Jones raises his hand ready to tap…
… and brings it down three times in quick succession! The referee signals for the bell as the crowd reaction is split almost down the middle between cheers and boos.
TC: Ladies and gentlemen the latest fall is by submission at 28 minutes and 57 seconds of the match. Your NEW interim champion Siiiickneeeesssss!
The Sick One jumps to his feet and looks around just in time to see Edward Samson charging at him. Samson smashes into Sickness like a bulldozer and the much smaller man is knocked again out of the ring! Thankfully for him he doesn’t land on Gower this time! Special Ed spins around and quickly moves to Jones before dragging the Prince of Perfection to a vertical base.
JR: Only 57 seconds left of the match now! Can either of these men score a fall? Or will Sickness walk out of here with the Triple Crown and his job?
Samson throws the left arm of Jonesy over the back of his neck and pulls the Most Super of Superstars over in a suplex, but at the apex of the move Jones manages to twist his body and land on his feet behind the Masked Monster, putting his arm around the neck of Samson as he does so. The weight of Jones pulls Edward down into a reverse facelock. The crowd explode into cheers as they realise what’s coming.
JR: KTFO! That standing Diamond Dust of Lucian Jones is about to come out to play.
PH: And on the outside Sickness is up again!
Lucian Legendary Jones leaps up and over Edward Samson, dragging him down and landing in the cutter style impact that could knock out the best of us! Jones rolls Samson over and hooks the leg while referee Doan is in position to count the pinfall.
JR: And Sickness is back in the ring!
Sickness drops and elbow, but Jones swiftly moves out of the way and The Mini Monster lands his attack on Eddie rather than The King of Bling! Sickness turns to attack Jones and
JR: GHETTO BLASTER TO SICKNESS!
The Sick One eats a massive boot to the face and collapses to the mat. Jones again hooks the leg of Samson and the referee again starts to count.
JR: Here we go!
PH: WHERE’S BARRY?
Jones leaps to his feet to celebrate as the crowd e-f*cking-rupt into cheers.
TC: Ladies and gentlemen the most recent fall has been scored at 29 minutes at 47 seconds of the match and your new interim champion is Luuuucian L Joooooones!
JR: If Sickness wants to keep his job he has just seconds to go!
The Sick One shakes his head to clear the cobwebs, the announcement from Tony making him realise he needs to hurry! Jones looks from Sickness to the now stirring Samson, wondering from what direction the next attack will come from.
PH: Sickness to his feet, Edward Samson starting to get up.
JR: And just ten seconds to go!
Sickness charges at Jones, but at the last moment Samson explodes up in a burst of speed and lariats Sickness out of his boots! Literally! One of Sickness’s boots flies off and lands outside the ring!
Samson turns around and is caught by a boot to the side of the head, the KTFO knocking him down to the mat!
Sickness struggles to his feet, his eyes unfocussed. Lucian shakes his head at Sickness and points up at the timer, begging The Mini Monster to stay down.
Sickness takes a wobbly step towards Lucian and the champs head droops as he realises that even now Sickness wouldn’t back down.
Lucian raises his fists ready to fend off any attack from Sickness as The SickStar steps within striking range.
Suddenly Sickness seems to come to life and he lands a massive kick to the stomach of Jones, doubling the champion over.
Sickness grabs the head of Jones and hit’s a stunner on the King of Bling! The impact bounces Jones to the ropes and then towards Sickness.
Sickness lands a massive DDT to Jones to finish the Cross Infection and rolls the champion over and pins the champion as the referee drops to count the pin.
The referee stops the count and gets to his feet as Sickness looks on, devastation showing across his face.
JR: Too late! Sickness was too late to regain the Triple Crown Championship!
TC: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner and STILL TWOStars Triple Crown Champion Lucian L Joooooooones!
As the music of Lucian starts to play the King of Bling starts to get to his feet, still stunned from the Cross Infection. The referee tries to raise Jones’s hand in victory but the Triple Crown Champion shakes off the referee and walks over to the dejected looking Sickness.
PH: Typical! Jones wanting to rub it in to the loser. And the biggest loser, both in this match and life, is Sickness.
Jones puts his hand out to Sickness, offering to shake hands in a show of respect. The crowd cheer as Sickness looks around, undecided as to if he should shake it or attack Lucian in anger. The Sick One takes a step back… and grins. The two men shake hands and then Sicky raises Jones’s hand himself.
JR: AS ever Sickness is a good loser and Lucian Jones is a gracious winner. These two men have battled each other for the last two months, but no matter what he did Sickness just couldn’t topple Lucian from the top of the tower and now its too late.
PH: And now Sickness is without a job. We never need to see him again!
JR: Sickness is a genuine legend here in TWOStars Paul, it will be a shame to see him go.
PH: But go he has to! And so do we as we’re out of time. Goodnight all you at home, make sure you tune in to see a Sickness free Xtreme TV!
Sickness rolls out of the ring, leaving Jones to celebrate alone as we fade out.