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  1. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by Darkstar View Post
    Ummm, no. Seriously, back that up with evidence from a reliable source.
    An example, straight off the top of my head, is when women withhold sex from their male partner until they get their own way.

    Rich or powerful ugly men with pretty girls, trophy wives/girlfriends.

    There are literally thousands of examples. Since Freud, pretty much every psychologist has realised there is always a power dynamic at play in sex.

  2. #42
    Senior Moderator John Hancock's Avatar
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    Freud been discredited in virtually everything he ever said about sex by the way.
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  3. #43

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    Yeah, mainly because he thought everything was either mommy or daddy issues. Point is, it has been a long, long time that psychology has recognized the link between power and sex.

    It's why impotent men feel powerless in other aspects of their lives, it's why Arnold Schwartzenfeather has a love child, it's why some rapes involve objects instead of the perpetrators dick.

    In consensual sex, power and sex are virtually inextricably linked and are, at the very least, a combined motivator. I'd argue that power is actually the dominant motivator, more than the actual sex, but it is debatable.

    In rape, power is clearly the dominant motivator, or the perpetrator would just pay for sex or have a w*nk. The sexual acts are simply the means of establishing a clear power disparity and subjugating the victim to gain the desired feeling of power.


    On a side note, shit that word filter is weird. Shit is ok, but w*a*n*k isn't...

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by etz View Post
    An example, straight off the top of my head, is when women withhold sex from their male partner until they get their own way.

    Rich or powerful ugly men with pretty girls, trophy wives/girlfriends.

    There are literally thousands of examples. Since Freud, pretty much every psychologist has realised there is always a power dynamic at play in sex.
    Again, back it up with reliable sources. Talking about a MINORITY of cases in order to try to prove what you say about a MAJORITY of something doesnt work.
    ¿¡Por qué no te callas!?

  5. #45

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    The entire psychological profession (literally, just ask any psychologist if sex contains a power/dominance aspect), cultural anthropology and simian group dynamics. If you want specific examples, papers or quotes you can use google as well as I can, and my browser history doesn't need to be any more dodgy than it already is, thanks.

    You're also missing the point that rape is a minority case. So whether you choose to believe power dynamics are involved in consensual sex or not is pretty much irrelevant to rape, which is what we're discussing.

    I was merely expressing my personal opinion that all sex contains some element of power dynamics. As it happens, every shrink I've ever spoken to agrees, but then they are shrinks, so you've got to decide for yourself whether to trust an industry that promotes ongoing treatments that show little result and never end...

    Ultimately, you can believe what you want because it can't really be proved either way, whatever the arguments. But just watching primate interactions tells me everything I need to know.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by etz View Post
    The entire psychological profession (literally, just ask any psychologist if sex contains a power/dominance aspect), cultural anthropology and simian group dynamics. If you want specific examples, papers or quotes you can use google as well as I can, and my browser history doesn't need to be any more dodgy than it already is, thanks.
    In other words you cant back up your claim that

    Quote Originally Posted by etz View Post
    Sex in general is about power
    as you pulled that out of your arse.

    You're also missing the point that rape is a minority case. So whether you choose to believe power dynamics are involved in consensual sex or not is pretty much irrelevant to rape, which is what we're discussing.
    No, Im not missing the point. You made a claim, I asked you to back it up.

    I was merely expressing my personal opinion that all sex contains some element of power dynamics.
    Ooooh, so it wasnt a fact, its totally your opinion that has no evidence to back it up beyond your experiences. Thats fine, the rest of us will enjoy our loving sex thats performed in a state of desire, respect, love or any combination of the above between two people (or more, depends on what youre in to). I suppose thats the difference between a balanced person and your rather scary self.
    ¿¡Por qué no te callas!?

  7. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by Darkstar View Post
    Ooooh, so it wasnt a fact, its totally your opinion that has no evidence to back it up beyond your experiences. Thats fine, the rest of us will enjoy our loving sex thats performed in a state of desire, respect, love or any combination of the above between two people (or more, depends on what youre in to). I suppose thats the difference between a balanced person and your rather scary self.
    I think you've genuinely taken power totally the wrong way.... we're talking about stuff as simple as leading or asking or prompting the other person all the way up to complete sub/dom and way out the other side to non-consent.

    For instance, one partner usually clearly initiates sex. In a consensual relationship, this effectively passes the power to the other partner (I have a headache/can we try this? etc.), and so on and so forth, trading power back and forth, sometimes equally, sometimes not.

    For myself, I'm only really into it (empowered, if you will) when my partner is having a good time. Essentially, I get off on watching her get off. I genuinely can't do ice queens or women who just lie there. They have to actively want to be involved, or the dry mechanics and the indignity of the actual act are just a turnoff.

    There's a power dynamic in every relationship, sexual or not.

  8. #48
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    But thats not ABOUT power. When I have sex with my wife its not about either of us having power over the other in any way, shape or form.


    You're still scary though.
    ¿¡Por qué no te callas!?

  9. #49

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    Quote Originally Posted by Darkstar View Post
    But thats not ABOUT power. When I have sex with my wife its not about either of us having power over the other in any way, shape or form.


    You're still scary though.
    Ah, I never said it was about power over the other person. In the most extreme forms, it is, but in normal people it's usually about the sharing of each others power to create pleasure for each other.

    It's still a power dynamic though, and ultimately your enjoyment is probably more about your power to pleasure your partner and receive pleasure from your partner than it is about the actual act.

  10. #50
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    Yes, and that doesnt make it about power. Something can be involved in a process without the process being about that something.

    That sentence makes sense in my head...
    ¿¡Por qué no te callas!?

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