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    Talk Wrestling Online Community Newsletter Issue #206 25th January: My turn?? Now??

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    Talk Wrestling Online Community Newsletter
    Issue 206 – 25th January 2009

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    The Editorial

    Welcome to the Newsletter that nearly never was. Yes folks, my first edition and I'm running late - as USUAL. Apologies and thanks to Kam and Nemesis Enforcer who were getting ready to step in and fill my (probably fungus infested) shoes, but real life finally got out of the way and here I am.

    What can you expect from my reign of terror? Right now, nothing's changed. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, says I. Well to be honest, I haven't had the time to!

    Anyhoo, all the peeps involved do what they do and they're good at it, so you shouldn't notice any drop in quality thanks to my idiocy.

    Have fun, go mad!

    Inno

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    Talk Wrestling Online Subscribers
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    Thanks to all the Talk Wrestling Online Subscribers:

    Anime_Otaku + Antihero + Cathal + Darkstar + Drake + Fiona + Fletch + Gooneronastick + Inno + Joel + John Hancock + Laffy + MRB + nachomuncher + Nimf + Omega + Reno + Rog + Saz + Shane O Mac + TGO + TMJ +



    Total Subscribers: 22

    To find out how you can help support Talk Wrestling Online and become a subscriber see:

    * Talk Wrestling Online Subscriber Scheme *

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    Talk Wrestling Online Community Update
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    FANTASY WRESTLING LEAGUE *£100 PRIZE*

    Join in our WWE Fantasy Wrestling League and you have the chance to win £100 (about $150)! It is so easy to play, just select 5 superstars for your team and that’s it! Surely worth a few minutes of your time...

    Fantasy Wrestling League

    If you have made your selection, you can change your picks anytime BEFORE midnight tonight!

    TALK WRESTLING ONLINE WWE PREDICTION LEAGUE *£20 PRIZE*

    Think the WWE is too predictable? Want to compete against fellow forum members to see who can actually predict the results of WWE PPVs? Join our prediction league starting with the Royal Rumble PPV, winner of the season (up to and including WrestleMania) will win a £20 prize!

    TWO WWE Prediction League

    TALK WRESTLING ONLINE ROYAL RUMBLE CONTEST *WIN ARCADE ACCESS*

    Just for fun we'll do this again! The rules are simple, the order you post in this thread is your entry number for the Royal Rumble. If the WWE Superstar who matches your entry number wins then you win! As easy as that. Since I'm feeling so generous if you win I'll give you access to the new Arcade at TWO until WrestleMania.

    TWO Royal Rumble Contest

    Only a few spots left!

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    Talk Wrestling Online - Chatroom Information
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    TALK WRESTLING ONLINE Royal Rumble Quiz & Chat

    Don't forget to join us for our Royal Rumble Quiz and Chat tonight from 9pm:

    TWO Royal Rumble Quiz & Chat

    Hope you all enjoy the Rumble!

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    Talk Wrestling Online Stats
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    MOST ACTIVE THREADS IN THE LAST 14 DAYS:

    1. How Are You Today? [General Chat]

    2. Comments That Don't Require Their Own Thread [US Scene Forum]

    3. January Transfer Rumours & Speculation [Other Sports Forum]

    4. Your last purchase? [General Chat]

    5. XTV 4:41 LIVE From The Thessaloniki Forum in Greece TWO Stars > Booking and Creative Forum

    6. Released! [US Scene Forum]

    7. American Student Auctioning Her Virginity To Pay College Tuition [General Chat]

    8. Paul McKenna weight loss [General Chat Forum]

    9. Random News Update Thread [US Scene Forum]

    10. WWE Royal Rumble 2009 Discussion Thread- Jan. 25, 2009 [US Scene Forum]

    MOST ACTIVE MEMBERS IN THE LAST 7 DAYS:

    1. DC
    2. Darkstar
    3. Nemesis Enforcer
    4. Jay 2 the Funk
    5. Jimmy Redman
    6. Saz
    7. DarkMatchJobber
    8. Al Stevens
    9. Nimf
    10. TMJ

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    Editor's Picks of the Fortnight
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    ~Website~

    http://www.leasticoulddo.com

    One of my very favourite online comics at the moment. Updated 7 days a week, and well worth a trawl through the archives. Go on - you may even laugh!

    ~Movie~

    Well there's really only one choice I have here... The Wrestler. If you haven't seen it, go see it. Now. Well, not right now, Finish reading this first, THEN go see it.

    ~Album~

    Oh, the responsibility... I'm gonna break the expectation and recommend Logan - Cruel Little World - it's rock music, it's grungey, it's like Creed - and it's local to me. These guys are, I think, gonna be huge in the next 2 years. Go check them out at http://www.logan-net.com/

    ~Book~

    The Yes Man by Danny Wallace - As good as the recent Jim Carrey flick was, trust me - the actual book it was loosely based on is so much better. Get it, read it, love it. That's an order.

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    Meet The Team
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    Who is gonna be this year's big break-out wrestling star?

    Al Stevens: I would like to say either Jack Swagger or the continual rise of Kofi Kingston.
    DC: This, for me, is a no-brainer; Jack Swagger. I've loved the guy since his debut and he just has something about him that makes you think that he has "it" in abundance.
    Inno: I'm gonna go "baaaaa" and say Jack Swagger. He'll be on Raw before the year's out.
    Kam: Jack Swagger or Evan Bourne.
    Laffy: Evan Bourne I think he will come back on fire not look back and make up for lost time.
    Nimf: Hmm...Really don't know.
    ThePowerIsBack: That's a tough one to predict. Despite having a successful career outside of the WWE, I see Evan Bourne being the breakout star of the year (by my count, not the WWE Slammys)

    Who is gonna be this year's big break out mainstream celebrity type star person?

    Al Stevens: Depends on which nobody releases a sex tape first. Oh Mini me... Get it big break out stuck in big brother...... I'll get me coat...
    DC: His Oscar-winning turn in 'No Country for Old Men' would have put him in the public conciousness, his role in Woody Allen's new film, 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' (where he actually has decent hair) should push him more into leading-man territory and, by the end of August, he should be the next big heart-throb for the ladies to swoon over.
    Inno: AC/DC are gonna own this year with their world tour and WrestleMania gig.
    Kam: Harry Potter. Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince is out in July and I expect it to be HUGE!
    Laffy: I don't know, whoever wins celebrity Big Brother.
    Nimf: You know, I haven't got a clue. Thinking Britney might make a (good) name for herself after the great way her year ended last year though.
    ThePowerIsBack: I think we will see the career development of Dakota Fanning, as it seems the older she gets, the better roles she gets in movies. Look at Shia LaBeouf.

    Who is gonna repair the broken window in the staff room, Dammit???

    Al Stevens: I shall give it a try, however who broke it in the first place?
    DC: A glazier?
    Inno: I say that Russel Brand should fix it. It was probably his fault somehow anyway...
    Kam: Broken window? It's called air conditioning!
    Laffy: I won't fix it beacause I am useless but should really remember when playing football indoors not to shoot near windows, oops.
    Nimf: Laffy did it...She should fix it.
    ThePowerIsBack: Not me, I am way too lazy to be doing that. Who will watch WWE and play my video games?

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    Inno's BIIIG Question
    Inno
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    The BIIIIIIIIIIIG Question

    Well, hello.

    Welcome to the first BIIIIIIIIIIIIG question of the year... and it's very predictable. Oh yes, New Year, same old Inno. What did you expect, inspiration or something?

    So, anyway, here it is - for what it's worth, I want to know:

    "What was your New Year's Resolution?"


    Quote Originally Posted by Ryan
    My new years resolution was to admit my fear and try my utmost to to conquer it, so far its going to plan, it will take a lot of time and effort which i'm willing to put it, but the end result will be well worth it.

    thanks.
    A worthwhile resolution and I will make no jokes about it. Unless it's a fear of being asked BIIIIIG questions, then you're pretty much screwed now

    Quote Originally Posted by Matt Denton
    Uh-oh... My new years resolution was to... Get up 30 minutes earlier so I can hate Vince Russo more. FIYAH RUSSO!
    Russo was fired but he won his job back in a promotion on a pole match 20 minutes after he was fired, just before you got here...

    Quote Originally Posted by DarkMatchJobber
    Stop apologising so much but I'm not doing too well so far!
    Well... sorry... bout your damn luck. Ha! See what I did there?

    ~~~~~~ AVAST! ~~~~~~

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    Member Spotlight
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    Omega

    SO, WHO ARE YOU AND HOW'D YOU GET HERE?
    Well I'm Andy (Omega) and I joined up really as somewhere to read spoilers as the main site I was reading got blocked by overzealous firewall. Then I got into the E-fed which I now run and thats kept me here!

    HOW DID YOU GET INTO WRESTLING?
    Just started watching it during the very early nineties, I always liked the storylines and drama more than the mock fighting.

    WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD CURRENTLY HAVE THE MAIN TITLES ON ECW, SMACKDOWN, RAW AND TNA?
    Hmm, as I don't watch anymore that's a tricky. For the business I think Cena is the best for Raw, Smackdown I guess I'd say HHH just because SD deserves a big time champ and ECW I'd say Matt Hardy because I think he's always been criminally underused.

    HAVE YOU EVER MET ANY WRESTLERS-IF SO, WHO?
    none, boring....

    WHAT ABOUT WRESTLING/WRESTLERS/WRESTLING FANS ANNOYS YOU THE MOST?
    The thing about wrestling fans that annoys me is the level "I'm more wrestling than you" that goes on. If you don't know "who originated the Stone Cold gimmick and no it wasn't The Sandman it was some dude from 1868, you moron" it's like you can't be a fan. Just enjoy it....

    WHAT WAS YOUR STAND OUT MATCH OF LAST YEAR?
    Eliminatioon Chamber - Subbmission Rules only - Edward Samson V Sickness V Evil Gringo V Draven Cage V Barry Gower V Craig Van Dam

    WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR FAVOURITE PROMO/BACKSTAGE MOMENT?
    The return of Johnny Rockefeller at Seasons Beatings

    IF YOU COULD START A CHANT AT A WRESTLING SHOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
    Bring back Eugene

    DO YOU HAVE AN ALL TIME FAVOURITE CLIQUE/ALLIANCE?
    The New Blood

    FANTASY 6 MAN MINI RUMBLE-WHO WOULD YOU HAVE IN IT AND WHO WOULD WIN?
    Warrior, Hogan, Jake, Rick Rude, Mr Perfect, IRS

    Don't mind who wins...

    WHAT IS THE LAST TEXT YOU RECEIVED AND WHO WAS IT FROM?
    From my bank telling me my current and distressingly low balance

    FANTASY JOB?
    Playboy millionare, if that is a job...if not I'd have Alan Davies job from QI.

    WHISTLE-STOP TOUR OF THE WORLD-WHAT 3 COUNTRIES/PLACES WOULD YOU HAVE TO VISIT?
    Italy, America and Canada

    IF YOU COULD MEET ANYBODY, PAST OR PRESENT, WHO WOULD IT BE?
    Oliver Reed

    WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST MEMORY?
    The seaside that was 30 seconds away from our house in Clevedon near Bristol and how fricking cols it was!

    WHAT WERE/ARE YOUR FAVOURITE AND LEAST FAVOURITE SCHOOL SUBJECTS?
    My best subject was science by a country mile and my worst by grade would be french but I was actually alright at french but I got switched from the a set to the b and the tearaways in that class meant I learnt f*ck all. The subject I hated and tehrefore didn't take was geography. Favoprite was Drama.

    WHICH OF THE 7 DEADLY SINS DO YOU THINK YOU 'FALL' TO THE MOST?
    Gluttony, I don't deny myself things I like as often as I should. Maybe Sloth as well....

    WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD,WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE ALL GROWN UP?
    An Amercian Highway bike patrol guy like the dudes in CHiPs

    IF YOU COULD STAR IN ANY MOVIE IN ANY ROLE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
    I'd really like to play Sam Vimes if they ever make any proper movies of Terry Pratchett's books.

    WHAT 3 THINGS WOULD YOU SAVE FROM YOUR HOME IN AN EMERGENCY (OTHER THAN FAMILY AND PETS OF COURSE!)
    My guitars (which technically is 5 things), my Amplifiers (which is 2 things) and then as much PC stuff as possible until I've backed it up!

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    Movie Mayhem
    DC
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    2009 is shaping up to be a great year for going to the cinema, so what better way to fill up this space than to give you, the people who make this newsletter possible, a preview of the movies I am most looking forward to over the next twelve months ('The Expendables' would be on the list, but that looks like it's not going to be ready until 2010).

    There is a mixed bag of styles, with the comic-book grandiose of Watchmen standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Michael Mann's take on the Dillinger mythos to massive robots trying to take over the world both in the future (Terminator Salvation) and in the present day (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen).

    So, without any more time wasting, here are the movies too look out for in 2009.


    Friday the 13th

    Release Date: February 13th, 2009 (can you see what the did here?)
    Director: Marcus Nispel
    Starring: Derek Mears (Jason), Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Travis Van Winkle, Aaron Yoo
    Rating: 18 (UK)
    Trailer

    I've been a fan of the "Friday" movies for as long as I can remember, but I also welcomed the news of a remake, mainly because Platinum Dunes (Michael Bay's company who made the film), have done well with their remakes so far (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre being a good example of what they can do - also directed by Nispel).

    This is also not a remake of 'Friday the 13th' on its own, rather an amalgamation of the first three movies. Jason (SPOILER ALERT) wasn't the killer in the original film and he didn't get the iconic mask until the third installment, but the producers knew that the fans wanted Jason as the killer and they wanted him as he should be; masked and with a big bloody knife.

    They've also decided that he won't be slow and lumbering (a fact a lot of people forget is that Voorhees was quite a fast mover in the parts 2 and 3) and have described him as kind of being like John Rambo from the original 'First Blood'.

    Regardless, I know I'm going to enjoy the film and I know that, in the same way I liked the remake of TTCSM, there will be something for those new to the world of Crystal Lake and knowing nods for those of us who have been there from the beginning.


    X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    Release Date: May 1st, 2009
    Director: Gavin Hood
    Starring: Hugh Jackman (Wolverine), Liev Schreiber (Victor Creed), Danny Huston (William Stryker), Lynn Collins (Silver Fox), Ryan Reynolds (Wade Wilson/Deadpool), Taylor Kitsch (Remy LeBeau/Gambit), Daniel Henney (David North/Agent Zero), Will.i.am (John Wraith/Kestrel), Dominic Monaghan (Barnell Bohusk/Beak), Scott Adkins (Weapon XI), Kevin Durand (Frederick J. Dukes/The Blob), Tahyna Tozzi (Emma Frost)
    Rating: *not been rated yet*
    Trailer

    The first of the mooted spin-offs and/or prequels to the popular X-Men trilogy (a Magneto movie, as well as a team-centric on on the younger members of the group, is already in the works), Wolverine carries a lot of hype into its May 1st release date.

    The supporting cast has been the source of many rumours, as has the actual characters who would be featured. Probably the two most well received of the newcomers are Gambit and Deadpool, both of whom have been fanboy favourites to be included since before the movie was even greenlit.

    Liev Schreiber, an actor who I think is vastly overlooked (check out his work on CSI), looks to be the perfect choice to play Victor Creed (he's not known as Sabretooth until after the events of this film), the half-brother of the title character.

    Other highlights of the trailer is looking to see which mutants you can spot (Banshee and Cyclops are definitely there) and whether their adaption from printed page to silver screen can hold up to scrutiny.



    If you've not seen any of the X-Men movies (and if not, why not?), then I urge you to watch them before you watch this. As with the Star Wars prequels, the nods to what is to come will mean a helluva lot more.

    Just think, Hugh Jackman, who has made his career on the back of his turn as Wolverine, wasn't even first choice to play the role. That honour went to Dougray Scott, who agreed to take on the part, but then had an extended shoot on 'Mission Impossible II' and had to cancel. Just another reason why we all should love Tom Cruise.


    Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

    Release Date: June 26th, 2009
    Director: Michael Bay
    Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Peter Cullen (voice), Mark Ryan (voice), lots of big robots
    Rating: *not been rated yet*
    *No trailer at the moment*
    Go here and use the code "AllSpark62609" to see some on-set footage

    'Transformers' did a lot better than anyone expected when it was released in 2007. Sure, it was always going to do well at the box-office, but very few people thought that a film based on a 1980s toy line would reach out to so many, both commercially and critically, across the globe.

    With a total taking of over $700million dollars, the budget for the sequel was raised from $151million on part one to $200million for part two... and according to anyone who has been on the set, the extra $49million has been spent on the robots.

    The big draw for this movie is the rumour that the main bad guy is "The Fallen", one of the original thirteen Transformers and a follower of Unicron. Bay has described him as "apocalyptic" in nature.

    He has also said that there would be a lot more robot-on-robot fighting, with one of the battles being more action-packed than the entire first film.

    I can't wait; Michael Bay delivered first time out, and with the added Autobots and Decepticons (not to mention rumoured Constructicons and Dinobots), this has the potential to steal the summer from...


    Terminator Salvation

    Release Date: June 5th, 2009
    Director: McG
    Starring: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin, Bryce Dallas Howard, Moon Bloodgood, Common, Helena Bonham Carter
    Rating: *not been rated yet*
    Trailer

    When I first heard that they were making a new Terminator movie, I was a happy-chappy. Then I read that McG (two steps above Uwe Boll) was going to be the director, my heart dropped faster than a hooker's knickers.

    However, the director has restored faith in himself over the last eight months with a lot of positive reviews of released footage and, eventually, with the trailer itself. He also went out of his way to pick the brains of both James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Both men were impressed with what they were shown and Arnie has even allowed for his likeness to be used when the T-800/101 models are finally shown.

    Getting Christian Bale on board was the first major coup, as the man is as bankable as they come after 'The Dark Knight'. Also from 'TDK' is Jonathan Nolan (brother of Chris) who co-wrote the script for Batman's second outing and is chief scribe on the fourth Terminator movie.

    The rest of the cast aren't slouches either, with Sam Worthington being recommended by Cameron himself, Helena Bonham Carter needing no introduction and Bryce Dallas Howard getting good reviews for her roles in both 'The Village' and Spider-Man 3.

    With the addition of new Terminators (including a monstrous 30ft tall beast), as well as the old models mentioned by Kyle Reese in the first movie, this has the potential to kick-start the franchise all over again.

    With the good pre-release press, the director, star and writer have agreed to do two more movies and make this a second trilogy. McG has promised that time-travel will feature in the next movie in some way.


    Watchmen

    Release Date: March 6th, 2009
    Director: Zack Snyder
    Starring: Patrick Wilson, Jackie Earle Haley, Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup
    Matthew Goode, Jeffrey Dean Morgan
    Rating: 15 (UK)
    Trailer

    Some people will dismiss this as just another comic-book adaptation. Not to say that comic-book movies are bad (they've been awesome since Blade hit the screens over a decade ago), but to dismiss 'Watchmen' as a comic-book is a grave injustice to the only graphic novel to make it onto Time Magazine's "100 Greatest English Language Novels".

    The characters are probably the most complex collective you'll ever come across in a superhero film (even if only one of the team has any actual powers), with the story weaving and turning with all manner of adult themes.

    Another great aspect of the movie. set in an alternate 1985 where Nixon is still the US President and superheroes have been outlawed, is that is uses these superheroes in events from world history (such as helping the US win the Vietnam War) and uses satire and sophistication rarely seen in the comic-book panel.

    Zack Snyder adapted '300' for the movies and did a fantastic job. On this, he has captured the look of Alan Moore's work so faithfully, Dave Gibbons (the original artist on the graphic novel) actually felt that he had walking into his own creations made real.

    Alan Moore, a pernickity bastard at the best of times, has completely disowned the movie, which wasn't a surprise. He has an almost obsessive "it's my work and you shouldn't be touching it" aura surrounding anything to do with what he does after the mauling 'The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' took.

    Even without Moore's blessing, this looks like it could be the ultimate comic-to-movie translation, based on faithfulness, if nothing else.


    Up

    Release Date: October 16th, 2009
    Director: Pete Docter, Bob Peterson
    Starring: Edward Asner, Christopher Plummer, John Ratzenberger, Jordan Nagai
    Rating: *not been rated yet*
    *no trailer at the moment*
    Official Site

    Pixar are the undisputed kings of animation. Last year's 'Wall-E' was a triumph, especially because there is so little dialogue for a good portion of the movie, of their genuis.

    Up this year is 'Up', the story of a Carl Fredricksen, a 78yo man who feels he has wasted his life. When developers threaten to move him on so they can demolish his house, he decides to do something with his life.

    That "something" is to tie thousands of balloons to his house and move it to Venezuela. Along the way he is accompanied by a Boy Scout called Russell and have many wild and varied adventures.

    Just when you think Pixar can't come up with anything as original as 'Toy Story' or 'Wall-E', they throw another curve-ball and come up with this idea.

    I think it sounds brilliant and, truth be told, it's not a Pixar movie without John Ratzenberger (the 10th most successful actor in box-office history - $3billion - because of his work with Pixar) doing at least one voice.


    Push

    Release Date: February 20th, 2009
    Director: Paul McGuigan
    Starring: Chris Evans, Dakota Fanning, Camilla Belle, Djimon Hounsou
    Rating: 15 (UK)
    Trailer

    Slipping in under the radar, 'Push' tells the story of Americans who have relocated to Hong Kong to avoid a shady US Government agency known only as "Division". The reason these guys are wanted is because they were all born with incredible powers.

    These powers manifest themselves in the following categories -

    Movers: Can manipulate inanimate objects at varying distances. The actual technique is known as kinetic signature control, where the mover is trained to hear and identify the specific atomic frequency of any given material, and alter the gravity wave around it, usually producing the nearby air to appear "warped". Advanced movers can work at the molecular level creating protective shields in the air around them.

    Pushers: Can "push" specific thoughts, memories, and even emotions into their targets. This technique can be used to gain a subject's trust, or to have them perform any action, thinking it was their own agenda.

    Watchers: Trained to self-induce visions of the future, very much like a prolonged sense of déjà vu. The technique of following the future, either of a person or object, is called subject tracking. A Watcher's skill is primarily rated by how far they can see into the future.

    Bleeders: These guys have the ability to emit high-pitched sonic vibrations that cause ruptures in a target's blood vessels.

    Sniffs: Highly developed clairvoyants who can track the location of either people or objects over varying distances. Like psychic bloodhounds, their tracking ability is increased if they have tactile access to an object that has been in direct contact with the subject. Sniffs receive information based on images, not specific addresses, which is why identifiable landmarks help increase their effectiveness.

    Shifters: Can temporarily shift patterns of light on any object to create illusions to the naked eye. They work mostly on a touch basic, but once the illusion is established, it remains with the object for short periods of time. For example, a Shifter could momentarily touch a one dollar bill, altering its light pattern to appear as a one hundred dollar bill for hours, until the effect expires. The length of the shift is based on experience and ability.

    Wipers: Skilled at either temporary or permanent memory erasure, an invaluable asset in espionage. Experience will dictate the accuracy of their wipes, though the danger is always present that they will eliminate a desired memory.

    Shadows: Trained to block the vision of other clairvoyants such as Sniffs, making any subject within their target radius appear "dark". Experience will enhance the size of the area they can shadow and the intensity of their shielding effect. Shadows need to be awake to perform their ability, and it is common for a detail of two Shadows to operate in shifts while protecting a person or object for extended periods.

    Stitchers: Pychic surgeons trained to quickly reconstruct cells to their previous or healthy state. Using only their hands, they can heal and even "unheal" whatever they have done. For more detailed work, Stitches use a silver based cream on their hands which acts as a conductor to their ability.

    Chris Evans (The Human Torch from 'Fantastic Four') and Dakota Fanning play Nick Gant and Cassie Holmes, a "mover" and "watcher" respectively, who are on the run from "Division" and are looking for the only person who has ever escaped them in the hope she can help bring them down.

    The trailer is awesome and the movie looks like it could be this year's sleeper hit.

    Other Movies

    Other movies to come out in 2009 that I'm looking forward to include...

    Public Enemies: Christian Bale and Johnny Depp star in Michael Mann's telling of the John Dillinger story.

    Fast & Furious: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster (who is hot) return to give the fourth flick a reason to be watched.

    G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra: Another 80s toy line is translated to the big screen and this looks the part.

    Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li: No Van Damme in sight (I'll leave that up to you whether that's a good thing or a bad thing), but the cast is pretty much spot on and the characters (outwith M. Bison) really look the part.

    The Last House on the Left: Another horror remake, this time of a Wes Craven classic, and another that looks good, at least in the trailer.

    Monsters vs. Aliens: Dreamworks movie about a woman who suddenly grows to 50ft tall and is inducted into the Government's "Monster Squad" to fight alien invaders.

    Star Trek: Details are sketchy on this one, but I believe it has something to do with space travel.

    The Wolfman: Benicio Del Toro takes a moment to shed the face-fuzz of Ché and adorn the all-over-fuzz of The Wolfman. Set in Victorian times, this has the potential to do well.

    The Lovely Bones: Long-awaited Peter Jackson adaptation of the classic novel.
    Saw VI: The final installment of Jigsaw's legacy.

    Harry Potter 6: Things are heading to a full-on face-off down at Hogwarts.

    Drag Me to Hell: Sam Raimi goes back to what he does best; balls-to-the-wall horror with a hint of absurdity thrown in.

    Crank 2: It's Jason Statham. There is no other reason needed to go and see this film.

    Inglourious Basterds: Tarantino's seemingly-on-the-cards-forever war movie is almost upon us. It's been described as Reservoir Dogs crossed with a Spaghetti Western and The Dirty Dozen. If that doesn't sell you on it, nothing will.

    The Taking of Pelham 123: Another remake, this time of one of my favourite movies of all time. John Travolta and Denzel Washington (sporting a paunch and glasses) take over the roles played so well by Robert Shaw and Walter Mathau. If you haven't seen the original (the inspiration for Quentin Tarantino to name his characters in 'Reservoir Dogs'), I urge you to do so as soon as you can.

    Well, that's it for this edition, so thank you for staying with me. Go to the cinema, watch a movie or two and have a great time.

    Draven Cage

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    Member Spotlight
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    natalieeee

    SO, WHO ARE YOU AND HOW'D YOU GET HERE?
    I'm Natalie and I got here by typing something in google about wrestling forums and ended up here!

    HOW DID YOU GET INTO WRESTLING?
    I used to hate it tbh and can't quite remember how I got into it really, think it was from my brothers as they used to be fans and now it's just me in my family that likes it, they don't really understand it!

    WHO DO YOU THINK SHOULD CURRENTLY HAVE THE MAIN TITLES ON ECW, SMACKDOWN, RAW AND TNA?
    I don't watch TNA so I can't say that but I think the ones we have now are fine as they are! boring answer but hey there you go!

    HAVE YOU EVER MET ANY WRESTLERS-IF SO, WHO?
    Yes Mickie James, Kofi Kingston, Matt and Jeff, DH Smith, R Truth and Paul Burchill

    WHAT ABOUT WRESTLING/WRESTLERS/WRESTLING FANS ANNOYS YOU THE MOST?
    Michael Cole annoys me especially when he goes on about Kofi's 'controlled frenzy' arghh! I hate when everyone boos Cena as I have no idea what he's done to deserve it! I hate the 'What' chant as it's sooooo old!

    WHAT WAS YOUR MATCH OF 2008?
    Jeff winning the title of course :-D

    WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR FAVOURITE PROMO/BACKSTAGE MOMENT?
    God there's way too many to pic just one! anything involving Jeff, Morrison, Miz, Punk, Kofi really

    IF YOU COULD START A CHANT AT A WRESTLING SHOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
    No idea!

    DO YOU HAVE AN ALL TIME FAVOURITE CLIQUE/ALLIANCE?
    DX

    FANTASY 6 MAN MINI RUMBLE-WHO WOULD YOU HAVE IN IT AND WHO WOULD WIN?
    Jeff, Punk, Morrison, Kofi, Jericho, Kane and Jeff would win lol

    WHAT IS THE LAST TEXT YOU RECEIVED AND WHO WAS IT FROM?
    From Shane O Mac about ordering tickets for Axxess and Hall Of Fame

    FANTASY JOB?
    Behind the scenes at WWE would be amazing! Not quite decided what yet tho!

    WHISTLE-STOP TOUR OF THE WORLD-WHAT 3 COUNTRIES/PLACES WOULD YOU HAVE TO VISIT?
    North Carolina, Florida and Hawaii

    IF YOU COULD MEET ANYBODY, PAST OR PRESENT, WHO WOULD IT BE?
    God there's loads - Chase Crawford, Kevin Jonas, more wrestlers

    WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST MEMORY?
    Dressing up as Minnie Mouse at playschool

    WHAT WERE/ARE YOUR FAVOURITE AND LEAST FAVOURITE SCHOOL SUBJECTS?
    I liked my childcare courses I did at college and hated PE and Art in high school as I was rubbish at both!

    WHICH OF THE 7 DEADLY SINS DO YOU THINK YOU 'FALL' TO THE MOST?
    Gluttony and Envy

    WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD,WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE ALL GROWN UP?
    Anything that involved using a till lol

    IF YOU COULD STAR IN ANY MOVIE IN ANY ROLE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
    I would be Viola in She's The Man, it's my favourite film ever <3

    WHAT 3 THINGS WOULD YOU SAVE FROM YOUR HOME IN AN EMERGENCY (OTHER THAN FAMILY AND PETS OF COURSE!)
    My photos, laptop and makeup

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    The Video Games Zone
    Al Stevens
    ---------------------------------------------------------------



    Hello and welcome to this Video Game Zone edition, I am sorry that I have been away for a while. For this one I am going to be looking back at the year that was 2008.

    2008 has had some great moments, for example we had a new member of the GTA family with Nico Bellic, the truly epic Metal Gear solid 4, a blood bath in Gears Of War 2 and a hunt for the Jackal in Africa.

    So for this newsletter I am going to go ahead and announce my top five games that rocked and the ones that left a bad after-taste in the mouth of gamers. Also there are the TWO forum members Top Five as well. Then at the end of this edition I am going to give you my own top five games which should be checked out this year no matter what!

    The Flops

    5. So in at number 5 it is Mercenaries 2: World in Flames. This was my first real review for the newsletter. To sum it up it’s the follow up to the somewhat successful game Mercenaries and released by EA and Pandemic Games. I think looking back at playing this it actually shows what happens to a game when they forget to test for major glitches. I mean as I said in the review about the solider that got stuck and his mates were re-spawning as well as other problems I noticed within the game.

    Also the problem I had was the inconsistent graphical display. Some moments looked breathtaking and then other moments felt like it was playing a PS2 or an XBox game, not a next generation.

    While this game was bad, it was nowhere near as bad as some of the games released this year. However here is the brilliant advert that was released to promote the game:

    [YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NcJyCdbC08c&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NcJyCdbC08c&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

    4. Laying in Number 4 it’s Too Human. Now the idea of the game sounds good. I openly admit I love the idea of using something like Norse Mythology but base it within a Sci-Fi world. I guess the biggest factor of this game which lets it down is the game doesn’t know what the hell it wants to be- it plays as a hack and slash game, however it asks you to go on hunts for items like an RPG like in the Diablo games and it also has a level up system which reminds me of the Final Fantasy games!

    Also it doesn’t really punish you for “Dying”, sure when you die you get a cool animation of a Gothic almost Geiger like Angel (hell it took me a couple of times to figure it out). I remember when I rented this and played it over a friend’s house. After about an hour feeling that disappointed with it I was grateful for not shelling out and paying &#163;40 on it.


    3. At number 3 it is Midnight Club: LA. Right, this won’t be the first time that Rock Star is mentioned in this edition, however this time it’s being mentioned for all the wrong reasons. Now don’t get me wrong this was my first Midnight Club game and I had heard so many good things from it, however the game is just pure racing. You have a phone/Blackberry and you get told to go “race Person A at this one location” then “Race person B at next location” and it carries on. For me this is where Carbon and Most Wanted seemed to be the better games (yes I have said games from the first two years of this current generation are better than a 2008 game) because sure you had the racing, but there was something to drive you through the story (which wasn’t a car) and that was….well, a pure story.


    2. Number 2 actually isn’t really a surprise for many people and this is not a good way to make an impact. TNA Impact.

    First off I do want to say graphically it’s great, FSM said that this game is the best wrestling game since the N64 No Mercy. However, sadly TNA is nowhere near that level. So what when wrong with TNA’s first outing as a game? Well there is a serious lack of match types. When you think about TNA having loads of gimmick matches like Six Sides of Steel, Barbed Wire Massacre, Lethal Lockdown etc, the game feels very bare. In fact, the lack of a ladder match shows how bare the game is.

    However you would have thought the game would have featured the entire roster. Well that’s not actually true either. To find out that Petey Williams was cut from the game (to be included in the DLC) and to include the Canadian Destroyer as part of the move set is pretty bad.

    Also another thing that really annoyed me is the one thing that annoys me in real life: Don f***ing West. Any game which actually makes you want to cut your ears off with a rusty kitchen knife is a very bad sign for me. However the reason why this game is at number two in my top flops of the year is simple: the game play is shockingly bad.

    First off this isn’t a knock on the actual controls- they kept to an arcade feel which means anyone from a toddler to a grandmother in a residential care home can play the game. However for a wrestling game the AI is ridiculous. I mean yeah sure sell your head but don’t walk right into a turnbuckle or stagger into the middle of the ring ready for the next attack two seconds later.

    Hell the selling is that bad it’s sometimes laughable. All I shall say is falling about 8 feet from a cable from Ultimate X, hitting the canvas hard and then five seconds later you can get up and attack again! There have been rumors on Gamespot that there is going to be a sequel to the game (which should be called TNA Impact: God Help Us All) however if all the problems which everyone had on this game are not resolved then we could be looking at the King of the Turkey games (and the ECW games released will be saved)


    So what has been the biggest flop of the year? Which developers are the golden **** of gaming in 2008? Well that goes to the PS3’s own HAZE.

    1. Haze was designed and created by Free Radials (of the Time splitters games) and well this game is that bad it only truly lasted one day before being traded in.

    Right the main story of the game is you’re a soldier brought up to fight a war against PMC’s in the BOA region of South America and you're in an army funded by a company called Mantel. Now Mantel has developed a drug to make a soldier's reactions perfect, basically the drug is a mixture of LSD, Steroids and Ecstasy and boy at times I wished I was on that combo when I was playing it. The story is poorly written and the twists are more predictable than any soap opera on TV and the voice acting feels worse than the voice acting in the first Resident Evil on PS1 and Dreamcast.

    I could go on all day about the reasons why I hate this game with a passion, however I need to add in my part about the great games of the year. This game is and forever will be the worse game ever made! Someone should pick up every copy of this game and throw them into the bottom of the sea.


    The Hits

    Right now for the forum interaction part of this. This is what TWO members think are the top games of 2008. Now there might some surprises....

    5.


    4.


    3.


    2.


    1.


    The people here at TWO have spoken!

    My Top 5

    5. TWO Members game of the year is actually 5th on my list of the top games of 2008...GTA 4. Now the GTA games have been something that has been imprinted on the culture and minds of everyone since 1997. Whether its birds eye view cartoon graphics of GTA, GTA London (the add on disk) and GTA 2. Or the games which we have come to know today the vast cities the great music of that era, Laslow GTA will be one of those games that whether the game is good (Vice City) or bad (San Andreas), it will sell like hot cakes.

    Gamers waited outside stores until midnight to get their hands on the game when it was released (I was one of them!) and while the game is graphically impressive and the story has moments of pure brilliance and great characters like Roman, Brucie or Little Jacob it lets self down by putting too much importance on dating or talking and interacting with friends. Sometimes I have been really unlucky and had someone like Roman ask me if I wanted to go for a game of darts when I was following a drug dealer back to his hide out.

    I did weigh up the option of either getting it for the PS3 or XBox 360 and well I had it for both and while the 360 has a follow up chapter where you play as the biker junkie or just play the game as a solo game. The solo option won me over. I also feel it (like a lot of the multi-platform games) looks better on the PS3.

    People could say that this game was the most hyped game ever released and it was, however if you can look past the whole keeping everyone sweet and going on dates like you would in the real world then it’s a great game.

    4. Number 4 takes you into a different world. This is the world of Fallout 3.

    Fall out 3 has been described as Oblivion with guns. However it’s a whole lot more. I will admit I haven’t played the game as in depth as I would have liked. However from what I have played it’s one of those games that I have always gone back to for a few hours here and there. The basic story is you were born in Vault 101 that was used to save humanity from nuclear war. The game uses flash-forwards to get you used to different elements of the game.

    However after you turn 18 your father disappears from Vault 101 and the vault keeper thinks that he has given you all the details of his plan and wants you dead. Anyway when you get out of the vault then the world is open for yourself. Hell if you want to you can set off an unexploded nuclear bomb and watch everyone die. Or if you're not called John McCain Jr you can choose to disarm the bomb and become a resident of that town.

    If this is anything like Oblivion then there is going to be loads of side quests and something to keep you going for a very long time. Well its being talked about that Fallout 4 is going to be released sometime between 2010 or 2011 and of course the main replay value is the moral choices.

    There is also something pretty awesome of killing a ghoul whilst listening to the tunes of the late 1950’s that feels somewhat right.


    3. Number 3 proves that in space no one can you scream “HOLY S**T”. Dead Space was one of the games I have reviewed and I admit that I did love the game. I think that this game just feels like you’re watching a messed up version of The Thing and having the senses raped like when you first watched the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Night Of The Living Dead.

    The reason why it’s so high up on this list is because well the story just flows right, the monsters are inventive and the gore is at times downright insane. However it’s the attention to detail on everything like the Vacuum sections of the ship and the zero gravity parts are both confusing but yet beautiful to play.

    I really cannot talk too much about this because I really don’t want to spoil the ending (yes the ending has a typical easy jump, but by God does it make you jump) however if you’re looking for something to tie yourself over while you’re waiting for Silent Hill: Homecoming and Resident Evil 5 then seriously get this game, if you don’t already have it. It’s the best Survival horror game released this year.

    Here' is the creepy video after leading the main menu for a while:

    [YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qlhp19xurZo&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qlhp19xurZo&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

    2. At number 2 is a return to Sera. This is Gear of War 2. This is one of those games which isn’t really a game, it’s more a brutal experience of war. The game is violent, bloody and sometimes insane. Set six months after the events of Gears of War 1 the Locust has found a way to sink whole cities and they are homing in on humanities last city of hope; Jacinto.

    Now the game is longer it’s bigger, bloodier and bad ass. The under current story of Dom looking for his missing wife is ideal and there is also brilliant comical dialog from both Baird and the ColeTrain adds to the whole experience and the game has left it open for at least 5 more follow on games. This could be the series of games that XBox owners can brag all day about.


    So the best game of the year is coming right up. This game when released was one of the best games at the time and even now it’s still a great game and it gives a whole new experience for anyone.

    1. The game I am talking about is no surprise. It’s Metal Gear Solid 4. MGS 4 is one of these games which need to be experienced. I know it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. I know that everyone is split between MGS4. Is it a game or is a movie pretending to be a game? However for me this is the example of what happens when you wait and test and push the game to the limits until it’s ready.

    The story is simple, Snake is aging at a stupid rate of knots, Liquid Ocelot has now built a PMC of his own and is assisted by Vamp (From Metal Gear Solid 2) and a new team called the Beauty And The Beast Corp.

    The game play is basic classic MGS. You have to sneak around and not get caught- however now there is the option which lets you help out the different armies which are fighting. Also because this time you’re stuck in the middle of a war so you can even use the armies who are fighting as cover which lets you get through hidden.

    The boss battles are incredible and the set pieces are also lovely to play and watch. The game takes about 30 hours roughly to complete (depends on how much you actually play the game as well).

    So to wrap this up: MGS4 is one of the gaming experiences I have enjoyed this year, it’s taken gaming to a new level and I hardly doubt that there will be anything which will match this or even beat this in this current Generation or even next generation.


    Top 5 for 2009

    Now that 2008 has been sorted out it looks like time to sort 2009. All I can see is that 2009 is going to be a pretty decent year for gamers. Of course you're going to get the big sporting titles released like Fifa 2010, PES 2010, Tiger Woods etc. However everyone knows that these games are only slightly updated. However this is what I think shall be the top five games to check out no matter what this year.

    5. Halo 3: ODST

    This is going to be something pretty interesting. This is planned to be done within the time frame of Halo 2 and Halo 3. Also in this game you play as “The Rookie”. Although The Rookie might look like Master Chief, he is human and stealth is going to be the main theme of the game.

    The reason why this game is so low down on my list for this year is because well the game is rumored to be only 4 to 6 hours long in game play. I have no idea if multi player has been announced just yet and also it’s not being given a full price release which could be it’s saving grace. If this is successful then this could be the start of a new generation of Halo games which doesn’t feature the Chief.

    However I feel that something which has such a short time frame should have really been downloadable content really.


    4. Ghost Busters: The Video Game

    For me this is going to be one of the games which will take me back to the days of me being a small lad playing with his Ghostbuster’s, toys watching the cartoon and loving both the films.

    After many years away from us the classic Ghostbusters are back in a whole new story, which is penned by the film writers Dan Akroyd and Harold Ramis. So far that’s good, the second part of what makes this game a must see (even though it is pretty low down this is something I think I would have to play for sure) is the fact they have the cast back and the player is the newest member of the team.

    Story wise the game takes place around Thanksgiving 1991 (two years after Ghostbusters 2) when paranormal activity starts to rise and there is a Gozer exhibition about to be opened things just seem too good to be true.

    Also with the addition of changeable Proton packs and this being in essence the 3rd Ghostbusters movie up to four player co op and multi player this could be the surprise package of the year. Ghostbusters has a release date around 16th June


    3. Forza Motorsport 3/Grand Turismo 5*:

    The rumor mill is going into overdrive (see what I did with the pun) that Xbox’s exclusive driving sim is going to be hitting this year some time (maybe around the latter part of the year where GT5 is rumored to be released from the pits as well).

    So far not much is known about the game other than 100 tracks are planned to be released as well as a massive 400 cars. Forza is one of my favorite games on the Xbox and I shall be looking into this game the very second it’s released.

    Equally important could be the release of release of Polyphony Digitals 5th Grand Turismo game. Now I will admit I downed GT:HD and I brought GT 5: Prologue. However GT5 is going to feature a staggering 900 cars(which includes the 2007 F1 world champion winning car which was a shock addition to prologue) and will feature the tracks featured on Prologue and even the Top Gear Test track.

    The game will feature 16 racers online, single player and multi player as well. Oh it’s also rumored to be released in time for Christmas 2009 thanks to James Armstrong statement in the Spanish press.

    For me being a petrol head this could be a good year for car fans across the world. Oh and it would be interesting when GT5 comes out to see who can we be better than on the Star In A Reasonably Priced Car, so both of these are games to check out.


    2. Killzone 2

    This might be a bit of a strange one and I don’t want people to think that I am just a Sony fanboy or whatever however I think this could be the first FPS of the year could be a really good game.

    Right first off I personally think that I must be the only person in the whole world that actually liked Killzone 1. While the game was flawed it was a good fun game and the second one seems to be better (and yes I can hear the “Well that won’t be hard” statements as well) however the second game is set on Helghan, the home world of the Helghast. The time frame of this game is set two years after the events of Killzone and Killzone: Liberation with the aim to capture Helghast leader Emperor Visari.

    The interesting thing which I have noticed is the use of the Six Access movement with some points within the game (for example I have seen the people on Playr setting a bomb with movements shown on screen) also the use of the SA with sniping is looking really good. Killzone is going to be released in England on the 17th of February and I think it might be worth checking out.


    1. Resident Evil 5

    It isn’t really a surprise that I would pick RE5 to be the one to look out for. It has been over 10 years since we were first introduced to the world of Resident Evil and from following this since it was announced back in 2005 this has been perhaps one of my most watched games in recent history.

    So what is the game about? The game follows Chris Redfield (survivor of Resident Evil and Resident Evil Code Veronica) this time sent to Africa to investigate the origins of the T virus. Also Chris has a new partner called Sheva who is controllable so this is the first real co op Resident Evil game released.

    With Co op being a big feature of RE5 then there are new features like co op help (for example they have got the step jump, you can give ammo to your partner and when they are hurt pretty bad you can go and heal them. Also RE5 features a cover system which is much alike Rainbow Six Vegas and Gears Of War as well.

    So has Capcom turned their most beloved franchise into just another shoot them up game? Well actually there are still moments of fear. For example the number of people who can attack on screen is massive and unlike most of the Gandos in RE4 they seem to be able to flank your party so protecting an area and waiting for extraction will get slightly more tricky than normal.

    Using the same style of the over the shoulder approach which featured in RE4 and the setting of Africa has both been inspired and has caused a debate about the game being racist. Feel free to read this news feature off Game Spot which covers it all, which I do disagree with however (if anyone wants to know why I will explain in a different post).

    Also one thing I do like is the idea of having Chris walk into a dark room and you cannot see for a bit until your eyes re adjust to the room. This is something which using the harsh environment of Africa to its whole effect. Also I don’t know if the rumors of having heat stroke effecting the character are still in the game however if it is then it could be taking the action pace of Resident Evil 4 and combining that with new ideas for surviving.

    I really don’t want to really go into the main part of the plot because there could be some serious spoilers. However what I can say is there is a new company called Tricell on the scene and what does Kijuju have to do with anything? Resident Evil is being released on Friday the 13th of March.


    I am hoping that 2009 gives me the same sort of gaming rush as 2008 did and I am really hoping that GT5 is released this year just to have a go around the Top Gear track, just to prove that I am truly the STIG.

    Adios

    Al Stevens

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    Wrestling 101 Info Centre
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    WWE Week in Review
    ThePowerIsBack
    ---------------------------------------------------------------



    WWE Week In Review XXXVIII
    January 18, 2009- January 24, 2009


    If you would like the read the previous weeks review, click below...

    > Week In Review #37
    WWE Week In Review XXXVII: January 11, 2009- January 17, 2009


    Welcome to the thirty-eighth edition of the WWE Week In Review. Feel free to contact me on TWO or Wrestling 101 anytime with comments, questions, and anything in between. Also, check out my blog on Wrestling101.com.

    The 817th edition of Monday Night RAW came to you, live, from the Allstate Arena in CM Punk’s hometown of Chicago, IL. Confirmed for RAW was the long-awaited return of Mr. McMahon. The Intercontinental Championship would also be on the line as Chicago’s own CM Punk would challenge William Regal for the title for the third week in the row, only this time it was No Disqualification. RAW would also host the official contract signing for the World Heavyweight Title Match at the Royal Rumble and Rey Mysterio would square off with Mike Knox.

    Monday Night RAW

    Good Week For: CM Punk (won the Intercontinental Title in his hometown)
    Bad Week For: Mr. McMahon (returned to RAW only to be punted in the head by Randy Orton)
    It Will Be Interesting Next Week For: The RAW Roster (to see who is champion and who won the Rumble)
    Best Mic Work: Randy Orton

    And In Other News…

    The night kicked off with a preview for the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday with a 6-Man Over The Top Rope Battle Royal featuring six of the RAW Superstars entered in the Royal Rumble. The Legacy of Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, & Ted DiBiase swept the match as Orton’s proteges eliminated the opposition. The two of them eliminated Kofi Kingston, Ted DiBiase eliminated Santino Marella, Kane put a kink in the "armor" of Orton by eliminating Cody Rhodes, but Ted DiBiase sacrificed himself by eliminating himself and Kane to help Orton win the Royal Rumble Preview Battle Royal.

    Five nights before she defends the Women’s Title against Melina, Beth Phoenix soundly defeated Kelly Kelly in a non-title bout.

    In the backstage area, Cody Rhodes informed Randy Orton of a rumor that said that RAW General Manager Stephanie McMahon is going to fire Orton tonight!

    Also backstage, Santino Marella approaches "The Glamazon" and tells Beth Phoenix that he has a surprise for her. Marella then presents Phoenix’s rabid #1 fan Rosa Mendes. Marella pleads with Phoenix to let Mendes be an "intern". Phoenix says she will think about it. Marella & Mendes then make a plan for Mendes to impress the Women’s Champion.

    Randy Orton also confronted Stephanie McMahon about the rumor saying he would get fired. Stephanie put Orton’s mind at ease by telling "The Legend Killer" that she is not going to fire him, so he can stop sucking up by praising her decision to fire Chris Jericho last week. Orton responds by getting in the face of the GM and telling her that she should be the one that is worried about getting fired by her father- Mr. McMahon. Orton also told the boss’ daughter that if her last name was not McMahon, she would be a "complete nobody". The enraged McMahon slapped Orton in response.

    Monday night was a big night for CM Punk and Chicago, as the hometown boy defeated William Regal in a No Disqualification Match to win the Intercontinental Title! As if that was not big enough for the new Intercontinental Champion, he was also revealed as a participant in the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday.

    The contract signing for the World Heavyweight Championship Match also took place on RAW. Things got heated quickly after both JBL (with Shawn Michaels) & World Heavyweight Champion John Cena signed the contract to make their match official. Cena boldly states that when the chips are down, Michaels will not help JBL. Michaels tells Cena that he is sorry that he feels that way. Michaels then fakes Cena out to assist JBL in cheap shotting the champion. HBK then assists his employer in a beatdown of the champion that ends with JBL hitting the Clothesline From Hell on "The Champ". Is this a sign of things to come at the Royal Rumble? Can Cena overcome both JBL & Shawn Michaels to retain his title or will Michaels get that big paycheck and help JBL win the title?

    Before his grudge match with Rey Mysterio, Mike Knox reveals that he does not know why he has been attacking Mysterio and that he has nothing against Rey and that he does not have a reason for the attacks. Well, Knox attacked Rey again in their match, an attack that caused Knox to get disqualified. Mike Knox then laid out Rey yet again.

    Backstage, RAW General Manager Stephanie McMahon enters her office to find Chris Jericho sitting there. Stephanie asks the former RAW Superstar what he is doing there. Jericho says that he contacted Mr. McMahon and that the Chairman will give Jericho the opportunity to plead his case in the ring, tonight. Jericho told Stephanie that he will hold nothing back.

    World Tag Team Champions, two-time Slammy Award winners, & Royal Rumble participants The Miz & John Morrison also made an appearance, calling out Jim Duggan to face either one of them. Miz & Morrison did not get Duggan, but they got Duggan’s friends and Miz & Morrison’s old nemesis- Cryme Tyme. Shad & JTG challenged "The Dirt Sheet Duo" to a non-title match, where if Cryme Tyme wins, they get a title opportunity in the future, but if Miz & Morrison win, they will be "done" with Cryme Tyme. Shad & JTG were able to defeat the tag champions to earn themselves a future shot at the World Tag Team Titles.

    The #1 Contender for the Women’s Title, Melina, was also in action, defeating Jillian. After the match, Beth Phoenix’s new "intern", Rosa Mendes was sent into the ring by Santino Marella to attack Melina. While Melina & Rosa fought, the Women’s Champion threw Rosa off of the #1 Contender and laid out Melina with the Glam Slam. "The Glamazon" then marched angrily to the back, stating that she did not need any help to defeat Melina.

    Then it was time for the big moment, the return of the Chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment Mr. McMahon. In a return that left even Dolph Ziggler speechless, "The Boss" returned to Monday Night RAW and said that he was glad to be back, but that tonight was about business.

    Jericho implored Mr. McMahon to reinstate him and allow him to compete in this Sunday’s Royal Rumble Match. Mr. McMahon then bring his daughter out- RAW General Manager Stephanie McMahon. Mr. McMahon then says that he thought about reinstating Jericho, but he has decided not to. Mr. McMahon announced that he and his daughter would run RAW together. The elder McMahon then asked Stephanie if she was going to give Jericho a second chance. Stephanie toyed with Jericho by making him apologize to her. Steph then said that it wasn’t good enough and that he needs to get on his knees and apologize to the fans he have berated so much as of late. Jericho relunctantly got on his knees and apologized to the WWE fans for anything he said that might have offended them. Stephanie then told Jericho that she will see him at the Royal Rumble and instructed the newly rehired Jericho to take his leave.

    Father and daughter then embraced in the ring, only to be interrupted by a seething Randy Orton. Orton says that there is another apology that needs delivering; one from Stephanie McMahon to him for the slap he received earlier in the night. Orton tells Mr. McMahon to make Stephanie apologize because he is "more important than her" and that since becoming a mother and giving Mr. McMahon grandkids, Stephanie has been "worthless". Mr. McMahon escorted a furious Stephanie out of the ring. Mr. McMahon then demands an apology from Randy Orton for disrespecting his daughter like that. After Orton does not respond, the Chairman informs Orton that he is priveleged to be a part of the WWE and that Randy’s father, "Cowboy" Bob Orton was a mediocre wrestler before Mr. McMahon discovered him and had it not been for the owner, Randy Orton would not be in the WWE today. Mr. McMahon tells Orton to apologize "or else" and says that if Orton refuses, he will terminate him right then and there. Orton tells the Chairman that he does not want to do that. Mr. McMahon responded by telling Orton "you’re…", but before McMahon could say "fired", Orton slapped his boss to the mat and kicked the Chairman in the head, followed by one of his vicious punts to the head of Mr. McMahon. Orton quickly realized what he had just done and quickly backed away from the scene forming in the ring. WWE Officials, paramedics, and an extremely upset Stephanie McMahon tended to the fallen Chairman. After Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase come out to escort their mentor away from the ring, Mr. McMahon gets a cervical collar put on and is placed on a backboard. What is the condition of Mr. McMahon? Also, what will the "condition" be of Randy Orton when Mr. McMahon recovers? What will Stephanie McMahon do to avenge her father’s assault? Has Orton sealed his own fate with a punt that has sealed the fate of so many others?

    The 137th edition of ECW on Sci-Fi came to you from the Allstate Arena in Chicago, IL. Confirmed for the last ECW before the Royal Rumble was a Royal Rumble Preview Match that would see all four ECW participants in the Royal Rumble Match compete in a Fatal 4-Way as Finlay, Mark Henry, The Miz, & John Morrison faced off. Also, we would hear from the new ECW Champion Jack Swagger.

    ECW

    Good Week For: John Morrison (won the Fatal 4-Way main event)
    Bad Week For: Matt Hardy (got cheap shotted by the new ECW Champion)
    It Will Be Interesting Next Week For: Jack Swagger & Matt Hardy (to see who emerges as champion)
    Best Mic Work: Matt Hardy

    And In Other News…

    The night started off with the former ECW Champion Matt Hardy. Matt updated everyone on the condition of his brother, Jeff, and revealed that the WWE Champion was in shock following the pyrotechnics explosion and that he suffered first degree burns from the incident, but that he was resting at home in Cameron, NC and that he will be giving an exclusive interview this Friday on SmackDown. Matt then switched gears to Jack Swagger and regaining the ECW Title by saying that he underestimated Jack Swagger and that he was not going to whine and complain, because the bottom line is that he got beat last week and proclaimed that he will regain the ECW Title at the Royal Rumble this Sunday. The new ECW Champion Jack Swagger interrupted and told Matt that he not only will not, but can not take the ECW Title from him and that this Sunday’s rematch is just a "formality". The champion then made it personal by telling Matt that his brother will not be the only one who goes down in flames. This enraged the elder Hardy, who struck the new champion, sending him to the outside. Matt followed Swagger and assaulted him on the ramp until several WWE officials pulled Matt off of Swagger. Swagger then cheap shotted Matt. Has Swagger cost himself the ECW Title by infuriating Matt Hardy and making their rematch at the Royal Rumble personal or will Matt’s blind rage work to the champion’s advantage?

    The opening match of the night saw Ricky Ortiz decisively defeat Adam Evans.

    Backstage, Paul Burchill barged into the office of ECW General Manager Theodore Long and demanded a rematch against DJ Gabriel. Long told "The Ripper" that he will face whoever Long chooses as his opponent. Well, the GM chose The Boogeyman and Boogeyman got the win over Paul Burchill, but by disqualification after Paul’s sister, Katie Lea Burchill, interfered. Boogeyman caught up with Katie Lea and was about to "worm" her, when brother Paul came to the rescue, sparing his sister the humiliation she would no doubt suffer.

    The main event was a Fatal 4-Way Royal Rumble Preview Match that saw World Tag Team Champion John Morrison defeat Finlay, Mark Henry, & fellow World Tag Team Champion The Miz. "The Guru of Greatness" took advantage of a Celtic Cross by Finlay to pin his own tag team partner, The Miz, giving his partner a very important lesson about the Royal Rumble Match- it’s every man for himself.

    The 493rd edition of WWE SmackDown came to you from the Qwest Center Omaha in Omaha, NE. The last stop before the 2009 Royal Rumble would feature an exclusive interview with WWE Champion Jeff Hardy following the pyrotechnics accident on last week’s SmackDown. Also, Triple H would have to try and jump through another one of Vickie Guerrero’s hoops as "The Game" takes on fellow Royal Rumble participant "The Undefeated Moscow Mauler" Vladimie Kozlov. SmackDown would also host a special WWE Tag Team Champions Vs. World Tag Team Champions contest that would see WWE Tag Team Champions Primo & Carlito take on World Tag Team Champions The Miz & John Morrison.

    Friday Night SmackDown

    Good Week For: Vickie Guerrero (finally got to see Triple H punished)
    Bad Week For: Matt Hardy (got picked apart by Edge, Mark Henry, & ECW Champion Jack Swagger)
    It Will Be Interesting Next Week For: The SmackDown Roster (to see who is WWE Champion & who won the Rumble)
    Best Mic Work: Jeff Hardy

    And In Other News…

    The night started with a couple of announcements regarding WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and the unfortunate pyrotechnics accident that occurred last week. J.R. revealed that after the accident was investigated, it turns out there was foul play involved as the investigation showed that someone had tampered with Jeff’s pyro, resulting in the explosion. The other announcement was that Jeff Hardy has vowed to be in Detroit for the Royal Rumble and will defend the WWE Title against Edge.

    Speaking of the #1 Contender, Edge came out and once again denied the allegations that he is responsible for Jeff’s "accidents" as of late. Edge tells the champion that Jeff has made the biggest mistake of his life by deciding to defend the title against him this Sunday and that this mistake will cost Jeff the WWE Title. Edge says that a true champion, like himself, is defined by sacrifice and not taking shortcuts. "The Rated-R Superstar" added that he does not need to cause these "accidents" in order to beat Jeff Hardy. Jeff’s brother Matt then ran in and attacked Edge, sending him out of the ring. Matt continued pounding Edge and Edge escaped through the crowd. Later on in the evening, SmackDown General Manager Vickie Guerrero informed her husband, Edge, that he will be facing Matt Hardy one-on-one tonight in a No Disqualification Match, much to the chagrin of Edge.

    In a rematch from a few weeks ago, The Undertaker defeated United States Champion Shelton Benjamin in a non-title match.

    The Great Khali & Chavo Guerrero were both announced for the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday and this two also faced off against each other in a bout that saw "The Punjabi Playboy" decisively beat "The Mexican Warrior".

    SmackDown also saw the return of Divas Champion Maryse. Maryse made her first appearance as Divas Champion after winning the title almost a month earlier. Maryse sat in on commentary as the former Divas Champion Michelle McCool teamed up with Natalya to take on The Bella Twins. However, another Diva made a surprise return and attacked Michelle McCool in the middle of the match. It was none other than the Diva that Michelle McCool attacked following her loss of the Divas Title a month ago; the Special Referee in that match- Maria. McCool and Maria brawled to the outside, right in front of the Divas Champion and, as Maryse looked on, Natalya & Michelle McCool double-teamed Maria and McCool once again kicked Maria in the head.

    SmackDown also featured an exclusive interview conducted with WWE Champion Jeff Hardy earlier this week. The champion started off by revealing that the "accidents" that have been happening to him were not accidents at all, but they was done intentionally by someone and Jeff said he knew who was responsible- Edge. Jeff tells Edge that he has made the ultimate mistake and that he will not stop Jeff Hardy. Jeff caps it off by asking Edge, "are you afraid?".

    It was a No Disqualification "Battle of the #1 Contenders" as the #1 Contender for the WWE Title Edge took on the #1 Contender for the ECW Title Matt Hardy with a whole lot of personal animosity in the mix. The two bitter rivals fought tooth and nail, but the whole thing came together for Edge when Mark Henry attempted to attack Matt Hardy, but Matt foiled the plan of Henry. However, he did not see Jack Swagger coming. The new ECW Champion laid out his challenger this Sunday with his patented powerbomb, followed by the World’s Strongest Slam by Mark Henry. Jack Swagger & Mark Henry held up Matt Hardy for a vicious Spear by Edge, giving Edge the win.

    In a battle of the tag team champions, World Tag Team Champions The Miz & John Morrison defeated WWE Tag Team Champions Primo & Carlito in the non-title bout to earn the bragging rights and pick up momentum heading into the Royal Rumble Match this Sunday.

    It was then time for the main event as two of the favorites in the Royal Rumble Match- Triple H & Vladimir Kozlov squared off. However, SmackDown General Manager Vickie Guerrero had another ace up her sleeve for "The Cerebral Assassin" as she interrupted the one-on-one match and announced that the match was now a 2-on-1 Handicap Match. She then introduced Vladimir Kozlov’s partner- the "World’s Largest Athlete" and the man who Triple H hit in the back of the head with a sledgehammer last week- Big Show. The two monster men dominated Triple H and ultimately pinned "The Game", much to the delight of Vickie Guerrero. What kind of shape will Triple H be in this Sunday in the Royal Rumble Match? Has Vickie succeeded in keeping the 12-time World Champion from winning the Royal Rumble Match and heading to WrestleMania? Triple H will no doubt be in the Royal Rumble Match, but is he in any condition to outlast the other competitors and win it? He’s done it before, but will Vickie have some more roadblocks for Triple H this Sunday? Also, what about WWE Champion Jeff Hardy? What kind of condition will he be in this Sunday? Since become champion, Jeff has been involved in a hit-and-run and a pyrotechnics "accident". Jeff says that both were intentional and he claims that Edge is the culprit. With all these emotional and personal factors heading into this WWE Title match, can Jeff concentrate enough to retain the WWE Title or will Edge’s prophecy be fulfilled by winning the WWE Title in Jeff’s first defense?

    Superstar of the Week: CM Punk

    Royal Rumble Rundown

    The Royal Rumble means the annual 30-Man Royal Rumble Match that will see 30 WWE Superstars from RAW, SmackDown, & ECW battle for the opportunity to challenger either the WWE or World Heavyweight Champion at WrestleMania XXV. Who will be heading to Houston for WrestleMania this year with a title opportunity?

    Some participants are veterans in this type of match, like Triple H (who won the Rumble in 2002 and went on to win the WWE Title at WrestleMania), The Undertaker (who won the Rumble in 2007 and went on to remain undefeated and win the World Heavyweight Title at WrestleMania), & Big Show. However, no one has more Rumble experience than "The Big Red Machine" Kane, who will be competing in his 11th straight Royal Rumble Match this year. Some Superstars will be competing in their first Rumble Match, like Vladimir Kozlov, The Brian Kendrick, Ted DiBiase, & Kofi Kingston.

    You certainly have to think that Randy Orton is considered a favorite in the match, especially considering that his "Legacy" teammates Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase are also in the match. Maybe Chris Jericho will get his first Rumble win after the tumultuous couple of weeks he has had with RAW General Manager Stephanie McMahon. Let’s not count out "The World’s Strongest Man" Mark Henry, who has been itching for another title opportunity ever since losing the ECW Title in September. Maybe The Miz or John Morrison can shock the world and win the Rumble Match and start off 2009 bigger than their banner year in 2008. As we seen on ECW, John Morrison realizes that it is every man for himself and that may give him an advantage if he is as cunning as he was this past Tuesday night. Perhaps the new Intercontinental Champion CM Punk could win the Rumble and go to WrestleMania to regain the World Heavyweight Title or maybe win the WWE Title for the first time. Speaking of champions, maybe the United States Champion Shelton Benjamin can add more gold to his collection or the unorthodox R-Truth could win it. Maybe even WWE Tag Team Champion Carlito could win the Rumble. Then there’s "The Fighting Irishman" Finlay, could the hard-nosed Irishman win the Rumble? Could Chavo Guerrero prove that he is not a "gopher" by winning the Royal Rumble Match? One has to consider The Great Khali an odds on favorite to win the match based on size alone. What kind of celebration would their be in India if The Great Khali won the Royal Rumble Match?

    This Sunday night is not only about the Royal Rumble Match, as four championships will be on the line. One of them will be the WWE Championship when Jeff Hardy makes his first title defense against former champion Edge. How will Jeff fair against "The Rated-R Superstar" given everything that has occurred recently? Edge has certainly proved his reputation as "The Ultimate Opportunist", could Edge opportune his way to another WWE Title reign?

    The World Heavyweight Title will also be on the line as John Cena defends the title against John "Bradshaw" Layfield. The X-Factor in this match is no doubt, Shawn Michaels, who is the employee of JBL and will be in the corner of "The Wickedly Wealthy" JBL. After HBK allowed JBL to become the #1 Contender, not to mention lay out "The Champ" during the contract signing, is there anyway that Cena can escape JBL and his employee or will JBL’s "purchase" of Shawn Michaels pay off in the form of the World Heavyweight Title?

    The much-anticipated rematch for the ECW Title will also take place as the new champion Jack Swagger takes on the former champion Matt Hardy. Swagger made it personal this past Tuesday night by disrespecting Matt’s brother, Jeff. Has Swagger angered Matt to the point where he cost himself the ECW Title or will Swagger be able to remain undefeated and defeat Matt Hardy for the second time and remain "The Face of the Franchise"?

    The Women’s Title will also be on the line as Beth Phoenix defends against Melina. What role will Phoenix’s new "intern" Rosa Mendes play? Not to mention the other half of Glamarella- Santino Marella. Can Melina overcome the power of the champion and regain the Women’s Title?

    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Wrestler of the Fortnight(ish)
    Laffy
    ---------------------------------------------------------------



    This weeks questions are: -

    1. Who is your Wrestler of the Fortnight?
    2. What is your favourite Royal Rumble?
    3. What is your favourite Royal Rumble moment?

    MRB: -

    Ah jeez, been out of touch with wrestling for months now, but here goes...

    1) Wrestler of the fortnight? Chris Jericho

    I only had to see him getting fired to know that he is still on fire, his reactions when Stephanie said Your FIRED! were perfect, and I can only see better things in the future for him.

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    2) Favourite Royal Rumble?

    I have only seen two Royal Rumbles, but my favourite has to be the 1998 Royal Rumble, I loved every match, from Ken Shamrock, Goldust and Vader to the actual Royal Rumble match, I remember the gutted feeling I had when I heard that someone had attacked Austin backstage and then remembering the euphoria once his music hit, the way all wrestlers stopped to see him come out, and then the quick elimination as he entered the ring, was perfect. Undertaker and Shawn is another worthy mention. And I can't remember the other matches...memory loss at this age...

    3) Favourite Royal Rumble Moment?

    One helluva mark out moment for me, Cena as the surprise number 30 entrant in 2008, I was just utterly gob smacked, I couldn’t believe it, then actually seeing him made me smile until my cheeks were killing me. The surprise was perfect, and it was certainly a moment to remember.


    Well, there you go, my out -of- touch opinions! Hope you guys enjoy reading it...
    The Bisch: -

    1) Wrestler of the Fortnight? Jack Swagger - ECW Champion

    2) Favourite Royal Rumble? 1997: Austin staying in the ring for so long, finally get eliminated by his hated rival Bret Hart, but sneaking back into the ring and win the match as none of the referees saw his elimination. It played a huge part in turning Bret heel, and established Austin's anti hero (but babyface) image

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    3) Favourite Royal Rumble Moment? Probably Cena returning last year, for being so unexpected....or Vince destroying both his legs in 2005 after Cena and Batista screwed up the finish, just for the comedy of seeing Vince try to act authoritative whilst not being able to stand up

    Vince Blows his quads: -
    Jimmy Redman: -

    1) Wrestler of the fortnight? Victoria.

    Oh come on, like I would say anyone else. She retired! She also made a damn good heel team with Michelle and then had a pretty damn good match with Michelle on Smackdown to go out on, if you want a better reason. But yes, Victoria ruled the school and it utterly depresses me that she's gone.

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    2) Favourite Royal Rumble? 2007 was a mighty fine one, but so was 2008. Its a tough call. I think for a PPV as a whole 2007 was better, but 2008 was the best Royal Rumble match I've seen. Great set up with the short entrance, great match, never boring, a tonne of great spots I couldn’t even begin to name, and obviously John Cena. Brilliant stuff.

    3) Favourite Royal Rumble Moment? I was trying to think of a moment other than the obvious, but while there are a lot of great Rumble spots, none were bigger than John Cena last year. The whole thing, from managing to keep it completely secret, to his music and the pop, to the epic head raise, to the final 3 with HHH and Dave, to winning. It was all just "Ho...ly...f*ck," in the best possible way.
    Laffy: -

    1) Wrestler of the Fortnight? Randy Orton

    What can I say that has not been already said over the past fortnight Randy has been great from finally forming The Legacy with the members everyone wanted to punting Vince McMahon's head. Randy has been on fire his shocked look on his face when he realised what he had done was brilliant. I can not wait to see more.

    2) Favourite Royal Rumble? Has to be 1992. Everything was perfect Flair entering at number three, sent Heenan off on what has to be one of the best announcing moments of a match I have ever seen, from his cocky assurances that Flair would win, to begging Flair to hang on and everything in-between. Being a Flair fan it was awesome, seeing superstar after superstar come out and the wrestlers reactions to the next star was fascinating to watch. Whenever I feel down I just put on the dvd and it never ceases to make me laugh and smile, watching what I think has to be the best Royal Rumble ever.


    3) Favourite Royal Rumble Moment? 2005 it was the first rumble where i think there was a certain brand split everyone was fighting the other brands until number 13 came into the ring. I hated Muhammad Hassan has the heel everyone could not stand for a few brief moments all the superstars worked together to eliminate Muhammad Hassan. The knockdown where everyone was getting punches and kicks in, setting up the 619 and then picking Hassan up carrying him above their heads and throwing him out of the ring. Brilliant!

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    One final moment Ernest 'the Cat' Miller
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Royal Rumble Round Table
    ---------------------------------------------------------------

    Women's Championship:
    Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Melina


    CaliberWinfield: Here we have probably the two best women wrestlers the WWE has, going at it yet again. They rocked it at One Night Stand in their I Quit Match, so I do have hopes for this one not sucking. Beth Phoenix was the best women wrestler of '08, and Melina knows what she's doing. While I don't think it'll steal the show in any capacity, I don't think it'll stink up the place. As for the winner, well Beth is just on too much of a roll right now, and there serves no purpose to having her lose. Winner: Beth

    Frank Botch: Phoenix thanks to the intern chick.

    Jimmy Redman: Man, I am going to be disappointed if this isnt good. I think as long as they're given enough time I wont be. Beth Phoenix is obviously retaining, and the easiest answer is that Rosa (and Santino?) will help her to win in order to win Beth's heart. Should be good.

    Naitch: A Women’s Match?!? ON PPV?!? THEY COULD SURELY DO HURRICANE HELMS VS. JAMIE NOBLE INSTEAD?!?

    Or something. Happens pretty much every PPV, happens pretty much every TV show (how much TV time do they take up a week? About 10 minutes total on all three shows? Jesus, calm down) and will continue to happen next month when they do a women’s match on PPV. I mean, yowzer, get over it, change the record etc. etc. etc.

    This was actually quite good last time they faced each other. I do prefer Melina as a heel and it’s kinda difficult to actually get behind her as a babyface (no jokes about actually getting behind her. Mind out of the gutter and into the textbooks, pervos) because she is naturally heeltastic and she damn sure ain’t no Mickie James in terms of babyface likeability but whatever. Beth will win because she will. Hopefully we get more acting from Rosa straight from the Kelly Kelly…Kelly School of Method Acting and then on her way home she can refuse to give up her seat on the bus. Anyway, Santino will be involved in this and Santino could make a cricket, or worse, a Petey Williams Ironman match entertaining. Maybe.

    And, hey, it doesn’t involve Michelle McCool and even Michelle McCool’s own momma (the wicked witch of the west) would give a match a thumbs down if it involved Michelle McCool because Michelle McCool is Michelle McCool and she makes ritual killings look tolerable.

    ECW Championship:
    Jack Swagger (c) vs. Matt Hardy


    CaliberWinfield: Heh, I don't have cable. So I've never seen Jack Swagger wrestle. All I can say is thank God it isn't Kane, or Mark Henry. This has potential to be better than anything the ECW championship matches were all year in 2008. Swagger'll win, they're trying to do something with him, obviously. Winner: Swagger

    Frank Botch: Swagger.

    Jimmy Redman: They had a damn good match on ECW, so this should also be quite good, again, as long as they have enough time. After Smackdown I'm pondering whether Mark Henry will interfere, because there was absolutely no reason for him to show up on the show other than to insert himself into the title picture. Although interference in all of the singles matches will be overkill, and this isnt TNA so it wont happen. So yeah, Swagger to retain cleanly.

    Naitch: JACK SWAAAGGGGAAAA~! ALRIGHT! Man’s got something going on. Now whether he only had something going on because he was facing Finlay and Hardy and in Finlay and Hardy you have the two best 10 minute TV match guys on TV right now, I’m not sure but I’m still digging him and he certainly comes across as a natural on TV and although he’s working the usual generic WWE cocky ‘normal name’ newcomer, he’s pretty good at it regardless. They should give him a decent sized run with the belt to see if he’s really got something going on. As I say, he’ll be facing Hardy here and even with his bow legs, weird nostrils, even weirder haircut and general weird hillbilly demeanour he’s one of the better wrestlers they have so this should be pretty decent. Swagger to win by the way. Maybe get Henry involved because he’s Mark Henry and people breathe only because he allows them to.

    World Heavyweight Championship:
    John Cena (c) vs. JBL


    CaliberWinfield: Ugh. JBL again? Cena is my favorite wrestler in the 'E, but unless it's a big-time gimmick match, not even Cena can pull a decent match from JBL. They've met 100 times, and only twice have they had a decent match. Sure, one of them was the classic I Quit, but still. They already fought a ton last year, so this is just unnecessary. It's going to suck, and is a complete waste of a main event and Cena's abilities. At least he'll win, because if JBL does, then we know he'll sell the belt to pay for his breast reduction surgery. Winner: Cena

    Frank Botch: Cena via interference backfire.

    Jimmy Redman: Kudos to them for making another Cena/JBL PPV match more interesting than any previous ones. The match itself will probably be decent and nothing more, but the angle will carry it magnificently. I actually dont know exactly what HBK will do, it seems a bit early for him to turn on JBL but I cant see JBL winning the belt either. I think HBK will probably kind of help JBL during the match, but then fail to land the death blow to Cena, keeping HBK on his tweener fence but giving JBL cause for frustration at not winning. Cena wins.

    Naitch: John Cena vs. JBL?! ON PPV?! WOAH! Yeah, it’s been done a billion and three times last year alone but this at least has the added dynamic of the Michaels thing and Cena has slotted effortlessly into the JBL/Michaels shenanigans and the whole which way will he go, oh no, oh no dimension at least adds to a match which has happened more times than the seasons changing. Granted I’m not exactly liking Michaels with his crappy one note hangdog ‘aww, shucks’ facial expression but JBL absolutely rocks the whole world of professional wrestling to its core right now and there ain’t no better heel than big corporate America using its money and power to stomp on the little man.

    I doubt JBL is winning though and I doubt they’ll have Michaels turn so soon so I’m going for some kinda non-finish shenanigans or something or other. Then when Michaels does turn, he can go back to playing Jesus Christ reincarnated in middle aged man with thinning hair and 9 inch pythons form and we can all rejoice at him pushing his religion down our throat in increasingly overbearing ways. ALRIGHT!!!

    WWE Championship:
    Jeff Hardy (c) vs. Edge


    CaliberWinfield: Ok, here we're going to have the best match on the card, including the Rumble, and probably a candidate for MOTY. We all saw Armageddon and the 3-way dance, it was great. The subtraction of Triple H I think will force these guys to work just that much harder. As it stands, Jeff's other half had a great feud with Edge, so there's no reason Jeff can't do awesome as well..ness. Oh, snaps. Winner: Hardy. He's got a good thing going, so why stop it?

    Frank Botch: Really don't know which way this is going. If Jeff dosen't win its going to be a terrible reign, probably the worst since Orton in 04, but if all the rumours about Christian are true he's going to make a big impact when he comes back, so yeah....one of them will win.

    Jimmy Redman: Man, the logical result is not the probable one we've been reading about for months, and the probable one is the one I really, really dislike. Maybe its my markness coming out and I'm trying to talk myself out of the inevitable, but surely Jeff cant lose the belt? The way its been booked, with Jeff having all these obstacles put in front of him, it would be ultimate burial for him to lose to Edge at the Rumble. Babyfaces overcome obstacles.

    Then again, we've been told for a while whats going to happen, so I still think that stupid heads will prevail and the switch will go as planned. Whether Christian actually appears or not, I'm not sure about (again, its a bit early for that) but I guess he should because there's no way on earth Jeff should lose clean. So my prediction is that Jeff will lose the belt after a certain degree of shenanigans. It makes me feel a lot better than my predictions are usually dead wrong.

    Naitch: Next…

    Oh, well, if I must. Edge is, with the exception of maybe Triple H and Kurt Angle, possibly the most dull, uninteresting, stale main event level guy on TV and I will probably never ever ever get any praise thrown his way because, in my eyes, he’s a hammy, scenery chewing dullard with terrible ‘grrrr, me so angry at you, Mr. Babyface’ or ‘GO CRAZY?! DON’T MIND IF I DO!’ facial expressions. And he has tombstone teeth. And a big chin. And gangly legs. And he voted for Hitler. And he microwaves babies. And he gave M. Night Shamalayayanana’s ‘The Happening’ THREE THUMBS UP. And he thinks The Kooks are a bitching band. And he thinks Robbie Williams is quite a swell chap. And he thinks Ashley Cole is misunderstood. And he…well, he’s just really bad. Jeff Hardy is also, ah, Jeff Hardy and he’ll always be Jeff Hardy and because he’ll always be Jeff Hardy and Jeff Hardy is Jeff Hardy, I, ah, don’t really have any interest in this. It’ll probably be a pretty good match and they’ll probably finally throw in Christian which the crowd should be into but the end results are still going to be Edge as Champion and Triple H chasing the belt and NO ONE wants that.

    Royal Rumble Match:
    Triple H, The Undertaker, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Vladimir Kozlov, Big Show, Kane, CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, Rey Mysterio, The Great Khali, Finlay, R-Truth, Mark Henry, Chavo Guerrero, The Miz, John Morrison, Carlito, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, The Brian Kendrick, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston and more...


    CaliberWinfield: Here's hoping Christian will make his debut here, it's what the Rumble is for. Hoorah. As for the winner, perhaps Batista? As to rekindle his feud with Cena. But then again, does it really matter? The Rumble is almost pointless now. As it was, it was the premier event because it meant a guaranteed title shot. Now we have that, BOTH elimination chambers at No Way Out, and MITB at WrestleMania. Hell, MITB is a way better deal than the Rumble, less difficult too. So I'd like to see Batista go up here, even though I don't care for him personally, I really like the idea of a feud with him and Cena.

    Frank Botch: Don't really know here either. Probably won't be HHH, Umaga could be a suprise entrant and cost The Undertaker, don't see Michaels winning either I really have no clue. The Rumble has been pretty good in recent years after a few obvious winners but if I had to pick I'd go with Orton. It would prevent Vince from firing him and lead to Cena-Orton at Mania. As I said though there's a ton of possibilities with no clear cut winner so I'm looking forward to it.

    Jimmy Redman: Randy Orton. I mean, he must. He must, right? Surely? TELL ME HE WINS!? Because the only other 'favourite' is HHH, and that would probably make me want to go on a killing spree. I've heard the rumour that HHH will come in No. 1, and while I havent heard confirmation, it makes sense for him to come in first and stay in for a hundred hours before just...not...winning. Orton, on the other hand, can save his job by winning first of all, and also needs the win much more than HHH does. He's becoming extremely good, and I think he just needs that final push, i.e. winning the Rumble and the Mania main event, to completely make him. The other option is that they do a complete swerve, with HBK entering and winning, or Jeff, or someone unannounced. Its possible, but I dont think they'd pull it off two years in a row. So I'm going with Randy Orton, with a whole lot of hope and as much certainty as one can have with this match.

    Naitch: If Triple H wins, we don’t riot but we do post out RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION from the comfort of our chairs on wrestling forums from coast to coast. Okay, well, even without getting into the whole smark dislike of Triple H, does anyone, even the most ardent of Trips fans, really want him to win? I mean, wouldn’t it just be so Goddamn dull if he did, right? RIGHT?! Yeah, course it would. I don’t even want any babyface to win it actually because it’d be much more interesting if a heel won and it’s about damn time one won anyway. The punt heard around the world could possibly be the most significant moment of Orton’s career and they need to keep that momentum going by having him win here. But, it’ll probably be Triple H and it’ll be really dull and uninteresting and boring, rather like the man himself actually. Then we’ll get Triple H making three months of fat jokes while Edge runs around pulling his hair out, screwing his face up and going ‘Grrrrr’ a lot and then I switch the channel over and go ‘Man, there must be some cricket or a Petey Williams Ironman match on somewhere.’

    --------------------------------------------------------------
    Final Thoughts
    --------------------------------------------------------------

    Well that's it from this issue, and again, apologies about the rushed nature of my contribution. Next time round, it'll be much more organised and structured. Mainly because NIMF will be guest editing for Valentine's day goodness! Huzzah, cry all of the readers (and most of the staff, probably!)

    Newsletter Editor:
    Inno



    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Contributors
    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    Thanks to everybody who contributed to this issue of the TWO Newsletter:


    NEXT EDITION: Sunday 8th February
    Last edited by Kam; 25-01-2009 at 10:37 PM.
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  2. #2
    Ruderz's Avatar
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    Good newsletter guys|!
    The Bath Guize. Nuff' said.

    My youtube channel, where I do my own Let's Play's and try not to fail too much!
    http://www.youtube.com/user/Rudie95

  3. #3
    ShaolinHandLock's Avatar
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    Another good newsletter.
    http://youtube.com/shaolinhandlock (Language Warning)

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    http://www.reverbnation.com/shaolinakashaolinhandlock (Language Warning)

    ShaolinHandLock: The #1 Kung Fu Movie Expert on TWO!

  4. #4

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    Another newsletter, another good newsletter

    Thank god Inno turned up and saved me an hours work on it

  5. #5

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    Nice work guys. Great newsletter. A good read.
    I'm a bit of a b*llshitter myself but occasionally enjoy listening to an expert. Please carry on.

    "Treat everyone the same until you find out they're an idiot."

    A rose by any other name, is just a pr*ck in a bush.

  6. #6

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    Another good one

    One thing really bothered me though...NE wasn't most active poster...what went wrong?!

    Other than that...loved it

    Teddy Rhodes
    You can't f*cking reach anything.
    It doesn't matter who you are, we all have our scars.


  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shane O Mac View Post
    One thing really bothered me though...NE wasn't most active poster...what went wrong?!
    I have let you and myself down


  8. #8

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    Just blame it on your knees Nem that'll get you by.
    I'm a bit of a b*llshitter myself but occasionally enjoy listening to an expert. Please carry on.

    "Treat everyone the same until you find out they're an idiot."

    A rose by any other name, is just a pr*ck in a bush.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiona View Post
    Just blame it on your knees Nem that'll get you by.
    I never thought arthritic knees would have an upside but gosh darn it if they don't come in handy some days
    Last edited by Nemesis Enforcer; 27-01-2009 at 06:58 PM.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nemesis Enforcer View Post
    I have let you and myself down

    Just make sure it doesn't happen again!

    Teddy Rhodes
    You can't f*cking reach anything.
    It doesn't matter who you are, we all have our scars.


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