TWOStars XTV 34 - 10th October 2005

[Boyo]

The following program is a post watershed production, it will contain scenes and storylines not suitable for children and some of the content may also be unacceptable to other viewers. This program may also contain strobe lighting effects.

'Carve me an Edge' by Fake Ideal starts to play as the XTV opening video plays. Images are displayed throughout the title sequence:

Draven Cage locking in the noose
The Judge charging down the ramp, sledgehammer in hand
The Million Dollar Man Chris Eagles counting a fist full of greenbacks
Tom Trash trashcanning another victim
Barry Gower leaving Fill for dead
The Dark Alliance being revealed
Keith Jaxx and Rico oiling TIH
Violent Vinnie Vengeance climbing the cage
PMA with a nutshot
Arkham dressed as Animal
The return of Jordi Warner
The leg drop of doom from Hulkstermark
The Lonely Avenger in striking Green Heels
Mills wearing his new attire
Redman returning
Evil Gringo with his mamacita
Keith Jaxx eating bananas
Darkstar, dressed for business
The Incredible Holt standing over Gringo and Gower, raising his title high above his head

MC: Hi there ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Xtreme TV comin' atcha LIVE from the sold out Key Arena right here in Seattle

Tazz: The home of coffee Cole!

MC: ...

Tazz: What!?

MC: I'm Michael Cole and this right here is my broadcast colleague, Tazz.

Tazz: Damned straight!

MC: And what a show we have lined up for you tonight!

Tazz: No doubt Cole, this one could be HUGE!

(A vidcap of Evil Gringo appears to a massive pop)

MC: Our main event tonight features this man, Evil Gringo

Tazz: And if that wasn't huge enough Cole, look who the Mexican Sensation is fighting!

(A vidcap of Chris Eagles appears, then it sorta merges with the vidcap of Gringo)

MC: Christopher Eagles, who's been making a name for himself these past few weeks on XTV

Tazz: Eagles is looking sharp, Eagles is looking dangerous, this one should be off the chain!

Cole: Indeed, Tazz, we also have Jimmy Redman in action, coming right up. And Tazz, check this out...even DRAVEN CAGE is making an appearance!

Tazz: WOAH!! That's huge Cole, but what's he doing back here? Who's he gonna fight?

MC: No doubt the Hangman has his sights set on making an impact tonight here in Seattle!!

Suddenly:

The arena goes pitch black and the crowd murmur.

MC: What the-

Tazz: What's going on Cole? Has there been a loss of power? Are we even on?

Crackly, scratchy noises can be heard. The arena is in total darkness, some camera flashes can be seen.

Silence...









Tazz: What's going on here..?



















Then, on the titantron, the words "DARK ALLIANCE" appear in big white gothic lettering. The crowd boo as the awesome bassline of "Climbing Up The Walls" by Radiohead kicks in and Boyo and Sickness make their way to the ring.

Tazz: Ha! These guys rule, Cole!

MC: I shoulda known, Tazz - these guys are complete jackasses!

Tazz: Quiet Cole! If Boyo and Sickness are coming to ringside then it must be important!

MC: Well Boyo is scheduled to fight Dante Mueller later this evening in what should be an intriguing match

Tazz: That's right Cole!

MC: But let's not forget what happenned last week on XTV 33; Sickness was pinned by Pip Atken in let's just say...a testing fashion.

Tazz: Why "testing"?

MC: You know...? Testing, testes..?

Tazz: Testicles!? Mah Gawd Cole, it's been what? 1 minute into this show and you're already talking about testicles?

MC: No, no, I meant...I meant...ah nevermind!

Tazz: What, you think you're Johnny Rotten or something? Never mind the testicles? I think the word you're looking for is Bo-

MC: -yo is looking sharp tonight though, isn't he Tazz?

Tazz: Boyo always looks sharp, Cole.

Boyo hops nimbly up the ringsteps, wipes his feet on the apron, and holds the ropes open for Sickness to climb in. Boyo is wearing a dark grey single breasted suit with a light blue shirt. Sickness is wearing his regular white bloodstained t-shirt and denim shorts. Only this week he's also wearing a red plasticy see-through sun visor.

Boyo grabs a mic

Boyo: Cut the music.

The music is cut.

Boyo: Excellent.

The crowd start booing Boyo and Sickness.

Boyo: Oh, boo yourself!

Nope, the crowd still boo Boyo and start a "Jack-ass! Jack-ass!" chant

MC: I think Seattle is trying to get a message through to Boyo here!

Tazz: How dumb are these people? Boyo is one of the greats!

Boyo: Now Seattle, listen up, for Boyo has something important to say.

The crowd continue to boo.

Boyo: Whilst I have your, ahem, attention, we're going to have a little game of "Show and Tell".

Tazz: Show and Tell? Sounds like your kinda game, Cole!

Boyo: Let me show you the footage of what happenned last week.

Boyo points to the titantron and it shows some of last week's show, where Pip Atken kicks Sickness in the nuts, drops him, and then pins him. The crowd pop.

MC: That's what happenned on last week's XTV Tazz.

Boyo: Need I remind you of who you are looking at right here?

Boyo slaps Sickness on the chest.

Boyo: This man here is the Ultimate King of the Ring 2005, that means that pound for pound, he is the strongest, the most consistent, the most dangerous and effective wrestler in this industry today.

The crowd boo Sickness, alhough some do applaud the mental case.

Boyo: Sickness here doesn't have too many rules in his life, or principles, or values. In fact he just has one that he lives by, and that, Seattle, is The Sword.

MC: The Sword?

Boyo: That's right kids; if you play with swords then chances are that various parts of your body inexplicably go missing and the same rule applies here. IF you dare get in the ring with Mr Sickness here then you will go missing once Sickness has finished with you. Mr Sickness here, will beat you up and then he will hurt you. And once he's hurt you he'll break you into pieces. And once he's broken you into pieces he will then destroy you with his bare hands. Show them, Mr Sickness.

Sickness opens his hands and shows them to the camera for a close-up. Blood, gristle and fragments of bone are clearly visable. Grey sludge and stringy, almost saliva-like membrane drip from his fingertips.

The crowd wince

MC: Sickening. Just sickening.

Tazz: What has Boyo got Sickness on Cole?

A shot of the audience shows that some of the smaller children are crying. Some of the smarks are wretching.

MC (almost whispering): Folks, these scenes are quite upsetting - nothing like this has ever been seen on XTV before.

Tazz: Sickness needs help, Cole.

Boyo sneers one of his foulest sneers.

Boyo: And now I have your attention, I'd like for you to pay attention. I've already done "show", now I need to "tell". And this is what I'm telling you. Mess. With. Sickness. At. Your. Peril. Do you hear me? At your PERIL!! Because if you do mess with Sickness here then Mr Sicknes will eat your children, and your children's children, and their children, and so on and so on. You get the picture.

The crowd start booing, lots of people are giving The Dark Alliance the thumbs down jeering signal.

Boyo: I'd stop that if Iwere you. You've been warned.

The crowd continue to boo.

Boyo: Right. Sickness. Show them.

MC: Show us what?

Sickness leaps down from the ring and over the barrier into the crowd

MC: What the hell is he doing, Tazz?!

Sickness goes up to a mother who is watching the show with her 3 or 4 year old son. Sickness then proceeds to wipe his hands all over the boy's face and clothes. The little boy starts screaming in panic and his mother starts crying. The heat is f***ing untrue for Sickness and Boyo. The booing is now more of a deep hiss, as if they've crossed the line.

Tazz: This is just not entertaining any more, Cole. I didn't get into this industry to see grown men assault mothers and children like this.

The slamming of a headset can be heard and the crowd starts popping like crazy as Tazz vacates his seat.

MC: Tazz! Come back! Come ba- Oh Gawd.

Boyo sees this.

Boyo: Oh Mr Tazz, I wouldn't if I were you. Not unless you want this edition of XTV to be your last.

Tazz is up on the apron now, mouthing stuff to Boyo. Sickness sees this and comes back over the crowd barrier and closes in on Tazz.

MC: Tazz is in a situation now, folks. Something needs to be done about this. The Dark Alliance cannot be allowed to carry on like this!

Boyo: Mr Tazz, we, The Dark Alliance, Sickness and Boyo, have never had any issues with your good self. Your mouth often gets you in trouble and when it does do either me or Sickness stick our noses into your business? Never! So, Mr Tazz, I'll ask you to do the same.

Tazz is shaking his head. The crowd are starting a big "Tazz! Tazz! Tazz!" chant.

MC: Tazz, come down from there

Boyo: May I remind you, Tazz, that you stopped wrestling about 5 years ago and haven't been to a gym since. Mr Sickness, on the other hand, is the current Ultimate King of the Ring. That means, Mr Tazz, that Mr Sickness will make short work of you. And let's not forget that I, Boyo, am the greatest Submissions wrestler. Alive. To. DAY! Mr Tazz, being a hero right now is not a good idea.

Boyo sneers at Tazz as Sickness gets to within 3 feet of the tough ring announcer. Tazz looks at Sickness but remains unmoved. His gestures suggest, "I'm not scared. I'll get an ass-kicking but so be it."

Boyo: Mr Tazz, you've got util the count of 3. One.

Boyo continues to look at Tazz and sneer, Sickness pulls some barbed wire from his jeans pocket. Sickness must have caught his hand because blood starts gushing from his hand and starts running down his arm and dripping from his elbow to the floor.

Boyo: Two.

Sickness wraps the barbed wire around each hand in order to make a device that would be excellent for strangulation.

Boyo: Two and a half. And, my I remind you that Mr Sickness here lives by the sword, so any of his blood spilled here will be doubled, in your case.

MC: Oh God, get away from there, Tazz.

Boyo: Thr-

Tazz climbs down from the apron. Sickness climbs in the ring. the crowd are booing big time. Tazz's headset goes back on him.

Tazz: I'm alright Cole.

MC: Tazz, that was The Dark Alliance, that was Sickness. you can't mess with a man, a couple of men, in that unstable a mental condition.

Tazz: I just don't know how you are supposed to fight a man like Sickness who does that sort of stuff to himself.

Boyo: Now that Mr Tazz has gone back to his commentary duties like a good boy I just want to demonstrate one more thing...

WHACK!!!!

Boyo nails Sickness right in the nuts with a big boot!

MC: OH MY GOD!!

But Sickness just stands there and takes it. With a demented grin, caused by bleeding gums, on his face. Sickness' eyes are wild.

MC: Dear Lord...

Boyo: And before ol' Mr Pip decides he wants to kick Mr Sickness here where nature never intended, I have bought, with my own money, a sturdy cup to protect the dangliest of danglies. Hit the music!

Voice: Woah, woah, woah!

Boyo: Voice, have you just been watching? Are you aware what Sickness is capable of?

Dante Mueller shows up on the stage.

Dante: Boyo, you piece-a garbage, you sneaky son-of-a-b*tch, why would I, The Assassin, be afraid of Sickness?

Boyo: Because other than the fact that he will eat your children, and your children's children, and their children, and so on - Mr Sickness now has patented scrotum protection. The man is damn near invincible. Come down here and try to Sickness in the balls, you wettie!

Dante: Hmm, that sounds like a challenge.

Dante walks to the ring and climbs inside.

MC: Well, Dante and Boyo are due to go head-to-head later on tonight on XTV...

Dante: Boyo Boyo Boyo, have you forgotten that I have beaten Sickness twice. I have beaten Sickness twice, so I don't need to prove myself to anyone. And later on tonight I will beat you. Boyo, listen here. I will defeat the Dark Alliance!

The crowd pop

Tazz: Strong words, Cole.

MC: They so are, Tazz.

Boyo then ducks as Sickness lays out Dante with a big clothesline. The crowd start booing loudly. Sickness climbs on top of Dante and starts delivering big, closed fisted punches.

MC: This is not right, Boyo has to fight Dante later tonight!

Sickness then starts pounding Dante's head off the canvas repeatedly, before biting Dante's forehead and drawing some blood (although no one canbe sure whether this is Dante's or Sickness').

Tazz: This guy's an ANIMAL, Cole!

Suddenly the crowd E-RRRRRRRRRRRUPT!!

Tazz: Who the hell? WHO'S THAT!?!

MC: IT'S DRAVEN CAGE, TAZZ!! IT'S DRAVEN CAGE!!

Tazz: OH MY GAAAAHHD!!

Cage his the ring slides in and delivers a dropkick to Sickness, to knock him off Dante! He then squares up to Boyo who aims a punch. Cage ducks this and using Boyo's momentum, locks in a -

MC: HANGMAN'S NOOSE ON BOYO!! HANGMAN'S NOOSE ON BOYO!! GET HIM CAGE!

Tazz: Yeah, get the b*st*rd!!

Cage locks the Hangman's Noose (a variant of the Cobra Clutch :)) hard on Boyo and Boyo is in deep trouble.

MC: He's choking Boyo out here!

Sickness gets to his feet and Cage has to let Boyo go, to the crowd's disappointment, only to sent Sickness flying over the top rope with a running clothesline! The crowd are going barmy!!

MC: Cage is running wild here!

Tazz: And listen to this crowd!!

Cage goes back to Boyo but he rolls out of the ring and up the aisle with Sickness. As they get to the stage, they are joined by Darkstar, to another crowd boo.

DS: Welcome back to TWOStars, Draven Cage, it's been too long. And since you're here, well, you can fight tonight. Boyo, you're still fighting Dante Mueller over there.

Dante has now got to his feet, shakily.

DS: And Draven Cage, you, are facing Sickness!!!

MC: Oh My!!

Tazz: Oh Man, That's HUGE!!! Huge I tells ya!

MC: Draven Cage versus Sickness tonight, only on XTV!

"Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit kicks in as all three men go backstage, leaving Mueller and Cage in the ring looking fired up.

Cuts to commercials.

[Evil Gringo]

We come back from commercial to see TWOStar's in the field announcer Todd Grisham about to tell us where he is...

TG: Ladies and Gentleman, I'm just outside the Evil Gringo's dressing room (crowd pops at the mention of the Mexican Sensation) hoping to get a word with him about Barry Gower's actions last week... Okay, lets do this...

Grish knocks on Gringo's door... A few seconds later after a few Spanish curses the door is snapped open and The Evil Gringo's head pops round the door to cheers of the capicity crowd...

EG: God damn essa... I've been here all of cinco minutes and your chico ass shows up...

TG: Sorry Gringo... It's just the world wants to know your feelings on the events that took place last week...

Gringo steps out of the dressing room and closes the door behind him loudly, making Grish jump slightly...

EG: Last week essa... LAST WEEK... I made a mistake... You see I should have hit him FIRST!

The crowd pops at the rising anger from the Mexicutioner...

EG: But despite that... Despite what that chico did I respect it, you see its all about the gold and when it's like that essa it's every wolf for hinself...

TG: They have Wolves in Mexico...

EG: Thats not important chico! What is though is that what Gower did was focus me, you see at No Mercy when me and Gower and that allegro chico Holt finally get in the ring... Well it won't be pretty and it won't be all friendly like last week homes... In fact it won't be tonight...

TG: How so Gring...

EG: Don't call me Gring you jumped up mic licking ovideo sexo! Gimmie that mic...

Gringo snatches the mic and pushes Grish away as the crowd cheers the irate Gringo on...

EG: You see Gower, I have got you little partner tonight and I will use him essa, use him as a little version of you... I will send a message homes and I don't care what Black did to his sorry chico ass last week... I don't care about respect anymore... I care about two things in this whole world. One is the title that belongs to me and not the Jolly Green Loco Giant and the other is in my bed right now.... So tonight I will send the message homes, to you, to Holt, to TWOStars... I am the Gringo, I am the fear in the night and at No Mercy... I AM ALL YOUR FUTURE HOLDS...

Becki from behind the door: Honey, come back to bed... you need to finish your warm up...

EG: This is over... for now chico... but tonight if you show your face in MY ring... then I will Mexicute your ass....

With that Gringo throws the mic at Grish and enters his dressing room with a slam of the door as we fade out to a Barry 'The Future' Gower promo package...

[Twig]

Back from "the future" Barry Gower promo package, we see the front of the arena. A few fans pop at the sight of their home town on the TWOtron. Slowly, Twiggie rides into view on his large green recycling bin. He is sitting inside, and is using a large branch to push himself along.

Cole: Looks as if Twiggie has just arrived.

Tazz: Really? What gives you that idea, Cole?

Twiggie *mumble* Banner *mumble grumble* lowsy no good *grumble* I'll show him. *mumble mumble* Don't mess with another man's bike.

As he reaches the entrance he steps clumsily out of the bin and nearly falls on his face. Pushes through the main entrance. People waiting in lines for concessions and merchandise turn and wave frantically at the camera. Twiggie stops a fan who just dropped the wrapper for his hot dog on the floor.

Twiggie: C'mon, I know that the whole west coast is stupid, but you still know better than that.

This remark causes Twiggie to be pelted by a barage of trash. Twiggie give a look of utter frustration, and grabs a nearby fan. The obvious plant falls victim to a kick to the stomach, a gut wrench powerbomb, and finally "Stash the Gumbo." Twiggie walks away after forcing the victim to sort the rubbish from the recycling.

Cut to the outside of Twig's locker room.

Twiggie soon apraoches and casually opens the door. Twiggie acts as if he has just witnessed the brutal murder and rape of his grandmother. The camera comes around over Twig's shoulder to show an enourmous pile of garbage fills Twiggie's dressing room. The mound of trash is so large that it literally reaches the cieling.

Twiggie: Banner! That heartless b@$t@rd! He didn't even sort out the recycling!

A few people in the croud laugh. Twiggie immediately sits at the base of the pile and begins to sort it into paper, plastic, glass, unrecyclables, and compostables.

Cole: Is he seriously, going to sort that whole pile?

Tazz: He's a man of his convictions. You gotta give him that.

Fade to "You know what!? Go ahead and try this at home, I'm sick of trying!" Ad.

[Telf]

Back from the “Try this at Home” ad as we go to the standard front shot of the ring. Michael Cole, suited and booted, is stood in the centre, microphone in hand…

COLE: Ladies and Gentlemen, at this time I have been instructed to ask you to all welcome… being accompanied by his Championship Guidance Counsellor, Mr Meltzer… the reigning TWOstars Television Champion… Violent Vinnie Vengeance

At the mention of the name of the Violence Bearer, the fans inside the Key Arena burst into a chorus of boos. Before this happens, Violence Fetish blasts through the PA system

Without any of the fancy lights, Triple V strides through the curtain, looking his usual angry-self, closely followed by a disgruntled Dave Meltzer

Vengeance grabs the top rope with one hand, pulling himself up onto the apron. He steps easily over the top rope as a frightened Michael Cole swiftly exits the ring. Da Meltz climbs in up the steps. The internet journalist paces over to the opposite side of the ring to collect a mic from the time keeper. The bum fluffed Michael Cole remains on the outside, not looking like he wants to step inside ring with the two hundred and ninety five pounder from Detroit

MELTZ: Mikey, get your scrawny little ass in this ring and conduct this damn interview!

Cole begins to step towards the ring steps; he sees the Violence Bearer at the opposite side of the ring and reluctantly begins to enter…

MELTZ: NOW!

The tiny announcer hurtles up the steps and into the ring, keeping a hand on the ropes just in case he may have to make a quick getaway from the Television Champion and his Guidance Counsellor

MELTZ: So you’ve got some questions to ask me, huh?

COLE: Well… I was hoping to get a word with Vinnie… Mr Vengeance…?

Michael Cole begins to angle the microphone towards the Violence Bearer, but it is sharply swiped back into the mouth of Da Meltz

MELTZ: Look kid, I talk, he tears people apart. Simple connotation wouldn’t you say?

COLE:… Okay… Mr Meltzer, if I could get your thoughts on what happened last week in Triple V’s match against the Crazy Frogs…

MELTZ: Oh what, you mean how this man (pointing at Vengeance) destroyed two TWOstars hopefuls in under three minutes? Not to mention putting them both to bed early!

COLE:… Actually… I was referring to what happened BEFORE the match even took place…

Dave Meltzer tilts his head to one side in confusion…

COLE:… Perhaps we have some footage?

Right on call, the replay of last weeks TWOstars Xtreme TV begins, Triple V is seen rising up from the top of the stage in his iron chair…

CHIMEL: And their opponent… Being accompanied to the ring by his Championship Guidance Counsellor, Mr Meltzer… From Detroit, Michigan; weighing in at two hundred and ninety-five pounds… He is the current TWOstars Television Champion……………… Violent…… Vinnie……Vengeance!

Da Meltz has already come out and is stood a few feet from the top of the ramp. The blue light illuminates the walkway as the Violence Bearer begins to rise from underneath the steel, sat in his sturdy iron chair

As the heavy beat kicks in, Vengeance suddenly leaps up to a vertical position

TAZZ: Now that is one SERIOUSLY pissed man, Cole! Time for the Crazy Fr…

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!?

…

The camera’s dart up to focus on the top of the entrance ramp where Triple V is stood……………

The Television Champion is covered in blood……………

Cameras revert back to the ring…

Without addressing the situation, Michael Cole puts the microphone to the mouth of Dave Meltzer. Both Da Meltz and the Violence Bearer continue to stare at the still image of a bloodied Vengeance on the TWOtron, not even acknowledging the announcer

COLE:… Your thoughts………?

Meltzer slowly turns back to give Cole some attention…

MELTZ: My thoughts?... My thoughts!... My thoughts are that some idiot from Utah spilt some red paint on OUR T-riple V champion!

COLE: Mr Meltzer, granted, we can all agree that was not the blood of Vinnie Vengeance, but what leads you to believe that it was someone “painting” in the arena that night? To me that doesn’t make sense…

Meltzer and Vengeance are getting visibly agitated by Michael Cole’s accusations, all be it even if they are plausible

MELTZ: Cole, after all these years you’ve been in the business, surely you would know your role… And you role is simple, you announce and conduct interviews. You role IS NOT to question! Least of all question ME! DAVE MELTZER! The most acclaimed wrestling critic of ALL TIME!

Da Meltz mentally wanders off on an ego trip as the crowd bring him back down to earth with a sound wave of booing

MELTZ:………… And as of right now, as far as your concerned… this interview is OVER!

Meltzer shoves Cole down as the announcer trips backwards and rolls underneath the bottom rope, slapping the floor

MELTZ: Now, back to business… This man right here stands before you tonight the undisputed Television Champion… but that’s not the gold he should be holding… oh no… this man rightly deserves to be the TWOstars World Heavyweight Champion!

By this time, Michael Cole has stumbled back to his position at the announce table

TAZZ: Couldn’t be more right on that one!... Oh, welcome back, Cole. Have fun in there!? Hahaha!

COLE: That man needs to be put in his place, Tazz!

TAZZ: Oooo, and let me guess… you’re gonna be the one to do it, right? Ha! Gimmee a break!

MELTZ: Three weeks ago, right here on Xtreme TV, the alleged World Champion said those precious words, “I Quit” as he was gasping for breath in Truth Hurts!

TAZZ: It’s true, I heard it. Vengeance had the Dragon Sleeper locked in tight!

MELTZ: So as I see it, Holt doesn’t seem to have a match at No Mercy… I’m issuing the challenge right now!

…

As Dave begins to make his announcement, the lights inside the Key Arena begin to flicker… before falling to black as the very dim security lights provide some brightness. The two men inside the ring can still just about be seen…

MELTZ: I’M NOT FINISHED DAMMIT!

…

…………………………. An extremely visible red dot appears on the ring mat at the feet of the Violence Bearer……………

MELTZ: GET THESE DAMN LIGHTS BACK ON!

…

…………………………. The red dot crawls up the huge torso of the Television Champion…………………………… before settling slap bang in the middle of his forehead……….

The crowd on camera-side notice this and begin to cheer, not really knowing what to make of it all…

COLE: What the hell is going on, Tazz?

…

MELTZ: SHUT THE HELL UP!

…

…

…

BANG!

All of a sudden, a shot is heard in the arena. Immediately the lights come back up…

Meltzer confusingly stumbles about looking from side to side…. Before turning back around to face his man…

…

Once again… The Television Champion is covered in crimson…

…

…
The arena stays silent as we cut to a No Mercy Preview Package

[Dante]

We come back from the No Mercy package and see a room with a trainer backstage. He is examing a pissed off looking Dante. The fans cheer at the sight of their bloody hero.

Trainer-I really don't think you should compete tonight. You've lost a lot of blood.

Dante- I don't care, I don't back down or surrender.

T-You're not backing down or surrendering, you're putting your health before your career.

D-So you want me to withdraw from a match because I'm bleeding?

T-Yeah pretty much. There's no shame in that.

D-I'm admitting a weakness, of course there's shame.

T-You've been bleeding in here since right after Sickness attacked you.

D-So? Why should that mean I can't compete?

T-DO WHAT YOU WANT! If something happens don't come crying to me.

D-I didn't want to come in here in the first place.

With that, Dante walks out and back towards his dressing room. The trainer angrily slams his equipment down.

Cole-Well it seems Dante will still be competing tonight. Even though its against the trainers wishes.

Tazz-We'll see how smart that proves to be later.

CUt to the schedule of upcoming TWOStars event.

[han89]

The camera comes back from The Upcoming TWOstars Event Promo to a scene in the back.

Referees and TWOstars employees are running in the hallway. One of them tells the other in a quick rushed tone: "Go inform the boss about this!".

MC: What is going on backstage?

TZ: I don’t know. It must be another attack on someone like Eagles last week or something. Or it may be Keith Jaxx flirting with a fan backstage, which ended either badly wrong or ALLRIGHTTT!

The camera follows the crowd towards the end of the hallway where a bewildering message is written on the wall in big green letters. The paint is still dripping from the graffiti, giving away the fact that it was very recently written.

MC: So this is the center of attention that is disturbing everyone back there. What is that written on the wall? It seems some kind of green graffiti.

TZ: I am unable to read the message. Can you Cole.

The camera zooms even more on the message, for it appears on the TWOtron as clear as it can get, revealing for everyone what is all this fuss about.

The green bold letters formed this phrase:

REVENGE WILL DESTROY THE PREVERT WHILE LONELINESS WILL TAKE OVER THE INCOMPETENT ONE. AND TONIGHT, ONE OF THOSE WIL FALL VICTIM OF THEIR OWN WEAKNESS

MC: What does that mean? Revenge from the pervert and the incompetent one being lonely? What is this all about and who is this pervert as well as this incompetent one?

TZ: This is a very weird and mysterious message from an unknown superstar in TWOstar? Who could it be and for whom is it meant to be?

MC: There is only one way to find out and that's by staying tuned to TWOStars Xtreme TV coming back after the commercial break.

[Darkstar]

Back from the break.

"Break stuff" kicks in as Darkstar walks down the entryway and hops into the ring to a chorus of boos.

Cole: And a rather surprising entrance by Darkstar.

Tazz: It's no nonsense stuff here Cole, shush! DS is about to impart his wisdom!

DS: Now you idiots out there are having your fun, while I Darkstar have a match at No Mercy against the Crippler!

The audience, though a little shocked at Darkstar's abrupt entrance have now woken up and are in full "Crippler" chant mode.

DS: Now, as you know I am the boss here at TWOStars, but a lot of people in that locker room back there think I owe them something, a title shot, a chance against that hated rival... I am here to say I DO NOT OWE THEM ANYTHING!

The audience boos.

DS: Incredible Holt, I DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING! Brett Banner, I DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING! VIolent Vinnie Vengeance, I DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING! You ALL work for me!

The audience boo as a courtesy, not quite sure where Darkstar is going with this.

DS: You have all seen that I have been haunted by a ghost from the past, I thought I knew who it was and now I am sure that it's the Crippler!

The fans jump up and shout Cripp's name, DS goes to speak but waits for the crowd to die down, looking somewhat impatient.

DS: All I have to say to you Crippler is if I DO NOT OWE the roster anything, then why do you think I owe you something? I DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING!

BONG!

The audience rise and scream as the Deadman's deathtoll rings out, the arena goes black.

BONG!

Light purveys the arena and a very scared looking Darkstar eyes the entryway!

Cole: My God! That's the Deadman's music!

Tazz: Is it the Deadman returning to TWOStars?

Suddenly it goes black and the audience begin laughing as the Titantron has "Gotcha" emblazoned on it in blood red writing.

DS: You think that's funny eh Crippler? You just wait, NO Mercy, you will see me at my best and I'll show you I DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING!

Darkstar storms off to the dressing room.

Cole: Our mystery opponent is using all the wrestlers that Darkstar has at somepoint screwed or asked to leave TWOStars.

Tazz: It's sneaky, it's underhanded, it's clever!

Cole: Tazz?

Tazz: DS is confused, the Crippler has got him just where he wants him, I may not like Cripp, but this is a fine plan!

Cole: And we'll see who his opponent is at No Mercy, this pay per view is £15 on sky box office, order early and you can say £4.

Cut to No Mercy ad

[Twig]

Fade in on Tazz and Cole at ringside.

Cole: Well our next match seems to be the combination of two heated feuds. The Brutal Brett Banner and the Prototype Jimmy Redman are taking on the team of Jordi Warner and Twiggles McJiggles.

Tazz: Cole, that’s over the line. You don’t have to mention Twiggle’s jiggles.

The lights dim and “All Hail Me” by Veruca Salt hits the loud speakers.

Tony Chimmel: Making his way to the ring, weighing in tonight at 241 lbs. Standing six feet two inches, he is… Jordiiii Waaarneeer.

Jordi steps from behind the curtain and makes his way to the ring.

The music cuts out and the arena is bathed in psychedelic swirls.
http://img449.imageshack.us/img449/4392/twiggie11aa5so.jpg
is displayed in close ups and as a whole across the TWOtron. Jungle Boy recorded by Twiggie's very own band: Bremstrahung Farad is pumped through the speakers of the arena. Twiggie appears at the top of the ramp wheeling his signature recycling bin behind him. He shouts various things to the fans while waving his free arm.

TC: And his partner, standing at five feet eleven inches, weighing in tonight at 196 pounds. He is, the PETA Punisher, Twwwwwwwwwiggie!

He reaches out and snatches up a sign from a fan along the ramp. It reads: “For a cleaner earth vote Twiggie for mayor” and shouts at them: "You’re not helping the cause!" He makes his way around the side of the ring. Leaving his bin at the base of the steps he slides under the bottom rope. Hopping up to his feet he bounces for a moment and spins in circles. Twiggie dances like a fool until his music fades away. He then snaps back to reality, and looks about slightly confused before he remembers what's going on. He and Jordi huddle together and appear to be having a conversation about each other’s dreadlocks.

The music cuts and the quiet intro to ‘Death of Seasons’ by AFI starts, and Redman's video starts playing on the TV screen, showing mysterious shots of a darkly dressed man, in various states of running, looking around corners and stillness. The camera moves backwards slowly to be engulfed in smoke. As the music kicks in, JR comes running out of the smoke. He pauses for a second to look out at the crowd, and then sprints down the ramp.

TC: And their opponents, coming to the ring first. Hailing from Raleigh, North Carolina, The Metalhead, The Prototype, JJJJJJJJJJimmy Redmannnnnnnnnnn

He slides into the ring, and turns onto his back and does a nip up to stare straight into the eyes of his opponents, Staring back from their corner. He then climbs the ropes, and poses his signature pose with both hands pointing up, keeping a watchful eye on his dread headed opponents.

http://img318.imageshack.us/img318/2131/radioactive4sh.gif

The lights in the arena dim, dry ice seeps out from the entranceway and the ramp is bathed in eerie, deep blue light.

And his teammate, standing six feet two inches tall. From Birmingham, England, The Serial Thriller. Brrrrett Bannerrrrrr.

Tazz: That’s Serial Trilla, to be correct.

Banner steps out onto the entrance ramp, head bowed and covered by the hood of his blue and red boxing robe. He slowly spins around, arms outstretched, to reveal that the back of the garment is emblazoned with his symbol.

With all eyes on Brett, Twiggie and Jordi take this opportunity attack Redman. They stomp away as Banner takes off down the ramp, ripping off his robe on the way. He slides in under the ropes and Twiggie comes up to meet him. The ref calls for the bell, as Brett gains the upper hand and backs Twiggie into the corner with a series of strikes.

Cole: Jordi is hitting the prototype with everything he’s got. Knees, legs, fists, even his own head.

Banner hits Twig with a back elbow, followed by a jumping knee for good measure. Twiggie falls and rolls out to the apron gripping his chest.

Tazz: The Brutal One, stalking Jordi, who’s still giving it to Jimmy Redman.

Banner yanks Jordi off of his partner by the dreads and drops him onto his knee.

Tazz: Backbreaker with authority, as the ref ushers The Prototype to the outside.

Cole: Referee Mike Keyona, finally gaining some semblance of control.

As Banner lifts Jordi to his feet he’s met with a quick thumb to the eye. Banner stumbles away, temporarily blinded. Jordi rains a series of blows, before he’s stopped by a European uppercut. The Brutal One whips Warner into the ropes, where Twig makes a blind tag. Brett grabs Jordi and plants him into the canvas.

Cole: stiff spinebuster from the Brutal one.

Tazz: Yeah, but Jordi’s not the legal man. Twiggie’s legal, and he’s up on the turnbuckle.

Twig soars through the air before catching Brett with his feet.

Cole: Flying head scissors on an unsuspecting Brett, quickly changing the momentum of the match.

Without giving Banner so much as a second glance The Recycler is on the top turnbuckle again, and is again flying through the air.

Cole: Twig’s taking some serious risks with that frogsplash, right there.

Tazz: It paid off, didn’t it?

Twiggie rolls banner onto his stomach with a kick to the ribs and lets him get up. As Banner gets to his knees Twiggie backs into the ropes and straight for Brett. Brett stands up only to see Twiggie heading straight for him.

Cole: Layin’ The Smackdown!

Tazz: Actually it’s called “Steal Your Face.”

Cole: Same thing.

Tazz: Almost, only Twiggie’s feet don’t touch the ground.

Cole: Hang on, we’ve got a pin attempt here!

ONE

TWO

TH-

Cole: Almost three!

Tazz: Banner is desperate to make a tag to the fresh prototype.

Brett heads for the ropes, but Twiggie spins him around. The Brutal one kicks at Twig’s midsection, however it’s caught. Twiggie sweeps out Brett’s other leg, and he hits the mat back first. Twig picks up Brett and whips him into Jordi’s corner. The PETA Punisher informs the ref that Jimmy is trying to enter the ring. Which he isn’t, until he sees that Jordi is choking Brett with one of his dreads. The Prototype’s efforts only allow Twiggie and Jordi to double team Brett for that much longer.

Cole: Aw, now that’s a dirty tactic.

Tazz: It’s Redman’s fault.

Cole: What!?

Tazz: He’s distracting the ref! That’s what happens when you let your emotions get the better of you.

Finally Jimmy gives up and retreats to the apron. The ref approaches, suspecting funny business. Warner raises his hands to claim his innocence. Twiggie, however, is still working Brett’s ribs and kidneys. Mike begins to count, seeing as how Brett’s on the ropes. He makes it to four before Twiggie backs away. After two steps Twiggie hits a quick roundhouse to the side of Banner’s head and turns to talk some trash to Jimmy. Brett stumbles form the corner.

Tazz: Drop two hold, taking Brett to the mat. Twiggie Follows up with the crossface chicken wing.

Hebner drops down in front of Brett and watches for his hand to slap canvas. In the corner, Redman is slapping the turnbuckle getting the crowd behind Brett. As the fan’s clapping rise, so does Brett.

Cole: High impact snapmare, and now Brett’s heading for Jimmy.

Redman’s dying to make the tag, but a fallen Twig grabs the boot of the Brutal One. Brett falls forward, but is just barely able to graze Jimmy’s hand. The ref motions for the tag.

Cole: In comes a pumped Prototype!

Jordi runs in from the corner only to be knocked down by a single punch from Redman. As Jordi falls Twiggie gets up. He too is taken to the mat, only this time with a chop. The crowd “Wooo’s” in appreciation. As Jordi gets up he’s met with a swift kick, taking him back to the ground. This continues a few times until Jordi has had enough and rolls out of the ring after a flawless dropkick. Back on his feet, Jimmy motions for Twiggie to get up. As he does he’s lifted up into a vertical suplex. Twig is then pulled to his feet and thrown into the ropes. The Prototype bounces off the ropes himself, and-

Cole: Running clothesline!!

Tazz: If Twig wore boots, he would’ve just been knocked out of ‘em!

Twig is brought up to his feet and whipped into Jimmy and Brett’s corner. The tag is made and Jimmy and Brett trade shoulder thrusts to Twiggie’s gut for four seconds. Jimmy exits the ring as Brett alternates between chops and forearm smashes.

Cole: Well, the tides certainly have changed, haven’t they?

Tazz: Shut up, Cole.

After a scoop slam, armdrag, and a DDT Twiggie lies motionless in the center of the ring. Brett climbs to the top of a neutral corner, and jumps off backwards.

Cole: Picture perfect moonsault!

Tazz: Yeah, it’s just too bad Jordi pulled Twig to safety.

Jordi heads back out of the ring and to his corner, as instructed by Ref Keyona.

Cole: Both men are down in the middle of the ring.

Earl starts a double count out.

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

Brett begins to stir, while Twig lays unconscious

FIVE

SIX

Brett is up on his feet, and is soon on top of Twiggie, wailing away with some mounted punches. Brett lifts Twiggie to his feet, and hits him with a stiff forearm. Twiggie over-sells the move and pushes into Mike Keyona. The poor defenseless man is thrown into the ropes in which he is entangled.

Cole: More dirty tactics, from the dirty hippy.

Tazz: If anyone’s to blame it’s Brett.

Cole: Now that’s some rock solid logic, Tazz.

Twiggie then nails a confused Brett with a running punt to the nads. Brett is launched into the air and falls to the mat, grabbing his crotch. Mike frees himself just in time to see Twiggie tag in Jordi. Twiggie holds Banner in an abdominal stretch so Warner can get a good shot at his kidneys. Warner rains down some body blows for a while, but suddenly Brett tosses Jordi into the ropes.

Cole: Banner with a second wind!

Tazz: I’d call it a move of desperation.

From off the ropes, Jordi leaps into the air and hits Banner with a cross body block.

Tazz: A fresh Warner, getting the advantage on The Brutal One.

As Jordi gets the better of Brett, Twiggie leaves the apron and digs in his recycling bin. He emerges with a six pack of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. He strolls around the ring handing out beer to Tony Chimmel and the time keeper.

Tazz: Yo, Twig! How ‘bout tossing one of those my way?

Twig: Sure thing, buddy. You want one too, Mike?

Cole: Yeah! Sure!

Twig: Mm Hm, I bet you do.

Tazz laughs as Twiggie continues around the ring. Fans beg for beers. Twig pretends to pass one to a 14 year-old boy, but pulls it away at the last moment. In the ring, Brett starts to gain the upper hand and dishes out a back breaker on his left knee, followed shortly after by the Side effect.

Cole: Backlash, from The Brute. But what’s Twig doing?

Twiggie is offering Jimmy Redman a brew. The prototype gives Twig a suspicious looks waving him away.

Jimmy: Get back to your corner!

Twig leaves the beer by Jimmy’s feet on the apron and continues on his path around the ring. After Twiggie is on the other side of the turnbuckle Redman feels it’s safe to take the Sierra Nevada. He is wrong, and Twiggie runs up the steps and leaps off.

Tazz: WOAH! Twig, with some kind of bulldog, taking the Prototype clear out of the match.

Seeing this, Jordi grabs Mikel and pulls him into the corner. He strikes up a casual conversation to distract Mr. Keyona

Jordi: Hey, I like that shirt. Is it yours

Mike: Well, it’s standard issue. But if you ask me, it’s a hell of a lot better than those stupid blue ones. For me, it’s stripes or nothing.

Jordi: Yeah, I totally agree.

On the outside Twig snatches up the pale ale and slides silently into the ring. He sneaks up behind the serial thrilla and-

Cole: Oh, come on! Can’t Twiggie win a match without resorting to cheating!?

Tazz: *sip* Sure he can. Didn’t you see him squash Golddustmark? *sip* It’s well documented in TWostars newest DVD - Gimmick Infringement. *sip*

Twiggie slides out of the ring as Jordi goes for the pin. Mike Keyona doesn’t seem to notice that he’s kneeling in broken glass and a puddle of beer as he counts the pin.

ONE








TWO















THREE

Cole: Geeze, what a huge “victory” for Jordi and Twiggie.

Tazz: *sip* Yeah, you know Twiggie is on an undefeated streak. *sip* Things are really looking up for the kid. *sip*

Cole: You know, Tazz, you’re not aloud to drink on the air.

Tazz: *sip* What, are you gonna tell Darkstar on me? *sip*

Cole: I think he can see for himself. *points at camera*

Tazz stares at the camera like a deer in headlights as the camera fades out.

Cut to TWOstars Shopzone ad featuring a full-size replica of Twiggie’s recycling bin.

[Ravenmark]

Cut to Locker Room Area…

The Camera is pointing a the floor and all we can see is concrete….

It begins to rise up….











We see some Lime Green Wrestling Boots adorned with multi coloured tassels…..






Some pasty white legs that have been smeared with Fake Tan…..






Orange trunks with a beer belly overhang….







A pair of hands writhing with each other, are too adorned with multi-coloured tassels and wristbands…








The torso of the as yet unknown figure comes into view, with a crudely draw on ‘six pack’ and yet more fake tan…..









The camera quickly moves up to reveal the mystery man is….



























http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/2751/uw0hi.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

COLE: IT’S THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!

TAZZ: Cole, you d*ck! It’s THE ULTIMATE WARRIORMARK!

WM: I have requested that Todd Grisham did not conduct this interview with me - he does not deserve to breathe the same air as THE WARRIORMARK, let alone be in the same room!

The crowd do a confused half-cheer.

WM: HOLTSTER! Do you want your beliefs to live forever?! NO-ONE CAN LIVE FOREVER! But the places you have taken your HOLTAMANIACS, the ideas and beliefs you have given them can live through WARRIORMARK, HOLTSTER! That is why I breathe, that is why I am and that is why the WARRIORMARK-MARKS have come!

TAZZ: Warriormark-marks?!

The crowd is kind of silent but are popping for the Warrior - rip off.

WM: Where are you taking your followers, Holtster? Do you want to walk or step into that green carwash for your tinting?

COLE: What the hell is he on about!

TAZZ: It’s the Warrior! No-one knows!

WM: The carwash is nothing to fear, Holtster! At the car wash, you might not get rich, you might live in a ditch!

Cheap cheers from the fans who acknowledge the song lyrics!

WM: But it’s all about belief and at the cost that you might lose everything! I come, not to destroy HOLTAMANIA….

TAZZ: Holtamania?! These fans hate The Green Machine!
WM:…no, I come to bring the WARRIORMARK-MARKS and the HOLTAMANIACS TOOOOOOGEEEETHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

Big cheers from the now completely confused fans!

COLE: I need to pop an E to understand this!

WM: Holtster, the colours of the Holtamaniacs is bleeding through my pores - or it could be the green wristbands mixing with my sweat and fake tan - but never the less, HOLTSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! Tonight I can take you to places you have never BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEN!

Warriormark continues rubbing his hands together as if he is mesmerised by them…..

Cut to ‘The Self Destruction of Retromark DVD’ Ad.

[Evil Gringo]

Back from the ad's we see Ted DiBiase strolling down the corridor towards the Owners office when he comes across the 'Mexican Sensation' slouched against the wall and his arm blocking his path...

EG: Hello there essa... going to see Mr NegroChico?

TD: Pardon? Listen boy, I speak in two languages, English and Money and I find they make the point in whatever country I'm in.... So get to yours quick...

EG: Ha, like you are gonna do anything essa... Your washed up, the most harmful thing a chico like you could do is flick a moneyclip at me!

TD: Still I'll think you'll find I'm an enemy you don't need, I've got the funds to own your lawnmowing ass ten times over... So if you've got a reason for stopping me I'd like to hear it... NOW!

EG: Look homes.... I just want you to know that if you and your fellow dinero grabbing chico's think an 'Insurance Policy' is going down tonight... Well I've got plans okay essa... Tell your hombre Gower that tonight if he gets in my ring I will Mexicute him... understand that chico?

TD: If I was you I would worry about whats behind that door there (Ted points to the door of the The Future) because a word to the wise, free of charge... There is more then one man in the ring at No Mercy and sorry to mention it... But you've only got one ally and she is a cheap $2 hooker in heels...

EG: Is that so essa... well it seems you where right... I do have dos men to think about... But right now I've got uno in my face telling me my mamacita is a hooker... And uno who I can send a message through...

TD: I don't quite follow... Damn I shouldn't have skimped on a translator...

EG: What I mean essa is this...

Gringo in one quick snake like movement GringoKick's the Million Dollar Man! Ted falls to the ground... Ted gets up to one knee groggy only to be met by a Shining Wizard from the Mexican Sensation! As this goes on the door to Darkstars office opens and The Incredible Holt and Darkstar come out...

DS: What the hell! Gringo, what the hell are you doing!

EG: Me and Teddy here where taking care of business.... Take a look you buerro licking chicos... *** come No Mercy, that will be that jolly green giant laying there and me stood over him, just like me standing over this chico now...

Holt moves forward but is stopped by Darkstar...

DS: Save it big man... We'll let Gower and Eagles deal with this one...

EG: Hehe, essa I got that covered... Just look at this as a message sent homes, this is your future essa, courtesy of the Mexicutioner... Oh and make sure Barry gets a little look at my handiwork....

DS: Oh don't worry I will....

Holt: Grruuunntttt...

DS: And the big man will be taking a special look at your match tonight as well... he wouldn't miss it for the world...

EG: Hehehe... I look forward to it homes... No Mercy chico's I will finish this....

With that the Gringo stalks off and the Future members re-enter their dressing room and the camara cuts round to see that stood in the shadows near by is 'The Future' Barry Gower....

BG: Not if I finish it first essa....

Cut to No Mercy promo package....

[Boyo]

Cuts to a shot a shot of the ring as "Blue Monday" by New Order kicks in and the crowd start booing a deep, satisfying boo.

DING DING!

Boyo walks down to the ring wearing his usual green wrestling trunks, white boots and almost overly-aryan blond hair. (NB - just had a thought, Boyo calls himself "Mr Boyo" quite a lot, so if, when I first started writing this character I had him do his own ring announcing...I think WWE would have a lawsuit on their hands!! :P)

Chimmo: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 217lbs, from Cardiff in Wales, he is one half of The Dark Alliance...BOYO!!

MC: Here comes one of the biggest jackasses I've ever had the displeasure of commentating on.

Tazz: I agree, Cole. After his awful display earlier on in this very ring, frightening that poor little boy and his mother, I have lost a lot of respect for this man.

MC: What do you mean, "lost respect"? When did you have respect for Boyo?

Tazz: Make no mistake, Cole, Boyo isn't on anyone's Christmas card list anytime soon but techincally, I'd put him up there with some of the greatest ever to step inside the squared circle. He's not that quck, he's not that strong, but he knows how to hurt people in the most simple of ways and he's probably the best counter-wrestler around today.

MC: Spoze...

Tazz: There's no spozin' Cole. You know, the other day I got to watch some previews of the "Best of The Dark Alliance" DVD that's being released soon -

MC: How come YOU get a preview and I don't!?

Tazz: - and let me tell you that if you want a masterclass in counter-attacking wrestling then all you have to do is sit down and watching HBK vs Boyo at ERE Royal Rumble 2005. The whole build-up to that match was about the two guys wanting to avoid the other man's moves.

MC: And let's not forget that Boyo was ERE Intercontinental Champion. He has pedigree.

Tazz: Nah, he uses the Cloverleaf, Cole.

MC: ...

Tazz: What?

Boyo gets to the ring and sneers to the crowd who boo back at him. "Blue Monday" fades out and the titantron has pictures of various gravestones (including Boyo's), then "Fudgin' ;) Determined" by Mudvayne kicks in and the crowd pop loudly.

MC: Here comes Dante, Tazz!

Chimmo: And his opponent, weighing in at 235lbs, hailing from Hermann, Montana...Dante Mueller!!!

Dante "The Assassin" Mueller appears amongst the flames and pyros of his entrance and makes his way to the ring. The crowd pop loudly. Mueller gets to the ring and stares a hole at Boyo. Mueller has a plaster on his forehead from the attack earlier on by Sickness (the trainer must have put his foot down ;)).

MC: Mueller still bearing the marks of that heinous attack by Sickness earlier this evening, Tazz, and Dante's gotta be careful; if he's not 100% sharp then the last person he shold be getting into the ring is Boyo - the sneaky b@st@rd!

Tazz: If I was Mueller then I would want to use my ground'n'pound brawling techniques against Boyo. I wouldn't try too many high risk moves, especially if you're not feeling with it. Dante's still got enough to beat Boyo but he has to be smart, and that means keeping it basic.

MC: And if you were Boyo, Tazz, what would you do against Mueller?

Tazz: Well we all know what Boyo's game is, Cole. It's called "The Road to the Cloverleaf". He attacks the spine with various barbaric, yet simple moves, before getting you in the Cloverleaf and making you tap out. We all know that's what he does, but stopping it is another matter.

DING DING! Match underway. Both Boyo and Mueller circle each other.

MC: Both men square up here, and Tazz, Mueller has the weight advantage and the slight height advantage. He should take advantage of this as soon as he can.

Tazz: That's right Cole, he's got power, height, strength and dynamism on his side. As long as avoids trading moves with Boyo then there shouldn't be a problem.

Both men go in in collar and elbow and Mueller wins the power struggle, shoving Boyo into the ropes before breaking....

...

...

clean. The crowd pop and applaud Mueller's sportsmanship.

MC: The Assassin gains a quick psychological advantage over Boyo there, I guess you could call him a Cerebr-

Tazz: Woah woah woah Cole! Let's not go overboard.

Boyo just looks unimpressed at Dante and both men lock up collar and elbow again. Boyo gets Dante into a side headlock and tries to drag Mueller to the ground but Mueller pushes Boyo away, into the ropes, and when Boyo bounces back Mueller shoulder-barges him. The crowd pop but Boyo staggers without falling, so Mueller dropkicks him into the turnbuckle!

MC: Good start by Mueller here.

Tazz: Indeed it is, Cole. Dante needs IMPACT moves to beat Boyo and he's establishing a pattern of impact early in this match.

Dante picks Boyo up and still having the Welsh Wonder in the corner, unloads a few closed fisted punches on Boyo's forehead until the ref threatens to DQ him. Mueller then delivers a slow, yet cool looking verticle suplex with about a second and a half of stall.

MC: Talking about impact Tazz, Boyo would have felt that.

Mueller climbs to the top turnbuckle and taps his elbow. The crowd pop.

MC: Is The Assassin gonna fly Tazz?

Tazz: If I were him, I wouldn't Cole. High risk moves should not be attempted this early in a match!

Dante leaps from the top, but only to jump a foot forward and land on his feet. Boyo puts his knees up, expecting Dante to attempt the bigger move, but is made to look a touch silly. The crowd pop, and then pop more and Dante executes a little elbow drop, and then another, and goes for a pin!




ONE!



TW-

Kickout!

MC: Haha, Dante outsmarting Boyo there.

Tazz: He doesn't want to get too cocky, though, Cole. Boyo's dangerous.

Mueller pulls Boyo to his feet and delivers a couple of hard punches and a few kicks to Boyo's rib area. He then delivers a massive uppercut to Boyo's gut, knocking the wind right out of the Dark Alliance mouthpiece! The crowd "oooooh" this viscious punch.

MC: Ouch!

Tazz: You can say again Cole

MC: Ouch!

Tazz: Are you kiddin' me!?

As Boyo is keeled over, Mueller hooks Boyo up for a suplex, and then hooks one of his legs, and lifts. After a second or two of stall, he delivers his textbook:

MC: FISHERMAN'S SUPLEX!! What delivery!

Tazz: FedEx would have been proud of that one, Cole. The Assassin is playing the game well!

Mueller goes for a pin.


ONE





TWO


Kickout

Tazz: Boyo's still a bit too fresh, Cole, but Mueller's started well, he just has to translate these high impact moves into results.

Mueller looks a bit peturbed that his move haven't worn down Boyo enough. He pulls Boyo to his feet and Irish Whips him into the ropes and follows through with a big clothesline that knocks Boyo to the canvas. Instead of going for a pin he picks up Boyo and whips him into the far turnbuckle and follows through with a Stinger Splash, which connects. The crowd pop.

MC: Wow! Relentless pressure from The Assassin here!!

Tazz: Like he said earlier, Mueller has beaten Sickness before, so he's no pushover. Dante's known for his relentless offence.

Mueller whips Boyo into the opposite turnbuckle and follows through with a running knee, that hits Boyo in the solar plexus.

Tazz: Woah! Great stuff from Mueller here!

MC: He's going for a "trifecta"

Mueller whips Boyo into the far corner and follows through with a flying clothesline -

MC: OH!!

- But Boyo EXPLODES out of the corner and connects with a 360 Texas Tornado Punch. The crowd boo and wince as Dante is knocked out of mid-air and is sent crashing heavily to the canvas. Boyo catches his breath and sneers to the crowd, who boo back.

MC: What a counter!

Tazz: Shades of the late, great, Texas Tornado right there, Cole. Boyo does that so well; he allows his opponent to build up momentum, build up confidence, because as you just found out there, once you build up some momentum and confidence, you think less about the risks involved. It's one of the hardest psycological warfare lessons to learn Cole; and Boyo is a master of it!

MC: He's still a jackass though.

Mueller is laying on his stomach, so Boyo does the right thing and casually drops his right knee plum onto Mueller's lower spine. Mueller cries out.

MC: This isn't looking good for Mueller.

Tazz: The Road to the Cloverleaf begins here, Cole. Dante has got to find something more.

Boyo holds his knee on Mueller's spine and locks his fingers around Mueller's chin and locks in a nasty little chinlock.

Tazz: See how simple this move is, Cole? All Boyo is doing is a chinlock with his knee in your back and yet not only is he softening up your spine, he is also wearing you down double quick because he is cutting of your air.

MC: Wow.

Boyo relents and drags Mueller to a corner and climbs to the second turnbuckle and delivers a knee to Mueller's spine again.

Tazz: This is hard to watch, Cole. Boyo is an asshole but you cannot compete with pure evil like this.

Boyo drags Mueller to his feet and positions him so he has his back to the corner. boyo then delivers some bonafide Bubba Ray jabs. The crowd boo this. Boyo winds up Bubba-style for the final punch and delivers it, only for Mueller to block it!! The crowd pop.

MC: Daylight for Mueller! No! Dammit!

Mueller blocked Boyo big Bubba jab and missed a punch of his own and then succombed to a poke-in-the-eye from Boyo. The crowd boo and hiss.

MC: Referee that was a poke in the eye and Boyo gets away with it every time!

Boyo delivers an Atomic Drop to Mueller in the corner, who hits the turnbuckles and staggers out of them. Only for Boyo to perform a Judo throw takedown and then lock in a chinlock, digging a knee into the traps for extra pressure. Boyo sneers at the crowd, who boo the aggressor.

MC: And more pain being excerted on Mueller's neck and spine. What fluidity from Boyo!

Tazz: You're absolutely right Cole.

Boyo releases his latest rest hold and hits a soccer kick into the tailbone of Dante. Dante yelps in pain once more. The crowd are booing Boyo loudly.

MC: This certainly is clinical from Boyo.

Tazz: I don't like the guy but this is a wrestling clinic, Cole.

Dante is still sitting down in the ring, Boyo locks in a reverse headlock and stands up, so Dante is set up for a reverse DDT if you will.

Tazz: Watch out, Cole...

Boyo falls back, planting Dante's spine over his knee.

MC: BREAKIN' BEACONS!!

Tazz: One of the most painful looking moves I've ever seen, Cole.

Boyo delivers some big ol' soccer kicks to Dante's ribs and spine until Dante is in the middle of the ring.

MC: This man has no respect at all, Tazz. He has no respect for anyone.

Tazz: He's a machine, Cole. A cold blooded machine. Cold-oiled, maybe.

Boyo sets Dante up for a powerbomb, and then runs a finger over his throat, signalling the end. the crowd boo Boyo.

MC: What's he got planned now, Tazz?

Boyo hoists Mueller up over his right shoulder and holds him there so The Assassin is looking at the arena roof. Boyo then drops to one knee; Mueller's spine bends the wrong way!! The pain looks awful!!

MC: BARRY ISLAND BACK BREAKER!! BARRY ISLAND BACK BREAKER!! DEAR LORD!

Tazz: It doesn't much more final than that, Cole.

Mueller is laying flat on his back, Boyo picks up his legs and looks to the crowd.

Tazz: Cloverleaf time, Cole!!

Boyo puts his first leg in position, but Mueller wriggles one leg free and manages to propel Boyo into the ropes. The crowd pop for this.

MC: Mueller's still fighting Tazz!

Upon Boyo's return from the ropes, Mueller executes a drop toe-hold. Boyo's face hits the canvas. Mueller gets to his feet and flips Boyo onto his back and does a leglock move of his own:

MC: MAH GAWD TAZZ THE VAMPIRIC EMBRACE OUTTA NOWHERE!!!

Tazz: THIS COULD BE IT, COLE

Boyo is in enough pain of his own, however he doesn't give in just yet.

Crowd: TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!

MC: The crowd are urging Boyo to tap out right here, and you know what, I hope he does!

Tazz: And I think he will too!!

Boyo fights and fights the pain until...












Crowd: TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!







Boyo fades...





Crowd: TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!!




MC: Listen to this crowd Tazz.









Boyo has no option left but to raise right hand hold it there, shaking with pain. Eventually Boyo...


























...GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE! The crowd boo this.

MC: Oh I was sure he had him. I was sure Mueller was going to win this!

Tazz: I gotta give it to Boyo, though, that was sick.

The ref makes Mueller release the hold and Dante storms to the opposite ropes and kicks the bottom rope in anger.

Tazz: Dante's gotta keep his head here!

Dante makes his way over to the fallen Boyo and drags him to his feet before unloading hard right after hard left and then some big brawler punches. The crowd pop this and start a "Let's Go Dante!" chant. Dante lifts Boyo by the throat into a Hangman's choke hold until the ref counts to four (quite quickly) and Dante has to release the hold. The crowd boo the ref but Dante drops Boyo who falls to his knees. Dante starts arguing with the ref over what he feels was a quick count.

MC: ...And I can see his point, Tazz. I also thought that count was pretty fast.

Tazz: It doesn't matter Cole, the referee has the final word and if he wants to count fast then he can. If I were Dante I wouldn't take my eyes off Boyo.

Dante turns back to Boyo, who, like a ninja, delivers a finger thrust straight into the throat of Dante!!

MC: SWANSEA STRIKE BY BOYO!! Ahh, man look at that!

A mixture of blood and spittle drips from Dante's mouth. Mueller's eyes glaze over slightly as he holds his throat. Boyo is relentless though: he grabs Mueller's right hand with his left and locks in a hamemrlock and proceeds to stand behind The Assassin. Boyo then uses his right hand to get Mueller into a chinlock so once again Dante is looking at the arena roof.

MC: We've seen this before...

Boyo kicks the back of Mueller's knees to buckle the slightly. Boyo then drops to one knee, planting Dante's spine over the other knee, with the chinlock and hammerlock still locked in!!

MC: DARKNESS FALLS! DARKNESS FALLS! DARKNESS FALLS!

Tazz: Wow, you just don't get up from one of those, Cole.

Boyo stands over the fallen Mueller and grabs his feet again, and starts kicking the back of Mueller's hamstrings. The crowd boo as they know what's coming.

Tazz: Dante's arrived at his destination, Cole.

Boyo locks in a mean-looking Texas Cloverleaf and has poor Dante bent in two.

MC: COME ON DANTE!! FIGHT IT FIGHT IT!!

















Dante Mueller taps out to the Cloverleaf as the crowd boo Boyo but applaud Mueller.

DING DING!

"Blue Monday" by New Order kicks in as Boyo releases the Cloverleaf and allows the ref to raise his hand in victory.

Chimmo: Here is your winner, by result of submission...BOYOOOOOH!!

MC: He did it, Tazz, he made The Assassin tap out! And where do you think the turning point of this match was, Tazz?

Tazz: That missed flying clothesline that Boyo countered with a Tornado Punch. Boyo has a simple principle; shatter the other man's momentum and the other man don't know where he is. You want proof? Take a look at Dante there. Boyo's still got it Cole, despite what people may think of him.

Boyo looks at Dante with disgust before exiting the ring with a sneer on his face. Mueller's spine looks like a question mark as the show cuts to commercials.

[Christof]

Back from Commercials

We are in the plush offices of The Future. The Incredible Holt is flexing his biceps, World Heavyweight title next to him on a large cream leather sofa. TWOstars owner Darkstar is seemingly agilated, talking into a mobile phone, pacing around the room. The champ is seemingly obvilious to the conversation.

DS: What do you mean you're running late

Darkstar looks at his watch

DS: That's half an hour at least Tom, what the hell is up with you

The viewer can here incoherent mumbling coming from the phone, the TWOstars owner shoots Holt a look, Holt shrugs his shoulders and gets out of his seat leaving the title on the couch

DS: You'd better not be Tom, I thought you were sorting yourself out

DS pauses, strides around the room, nodding to Holt as the Silent Destroyer leaves the office

DS: I know Tom, its hard for us as well, but no matter how much we try to support you if you don't show up what am I meant to do

Darkstar pauses, taking in the conversation

DS: I understand that Tom but it's not fair on us. I've just sent your buddy Chris out to find an emergency partner for tonight should you not make it

DS perches on the edge of his desk

DS: I know you will buddy, someone needs to sort those guys out and who better than the first TWOstars Tag Team champions. (pauses) Ok mate, just get here as soon as you can.

Darkstar folds the clam shell and looks up, shaking his head

Cut to No Mercy ticketing information

[Colin]

Back from three hungry, hungry hippos eating another zombie hippo's corpse, as is the circle of life.

We are in the office of the one and only, mostly because you couldn't cloan him without inflicting the world with lots of power hungry egotistics with a sunny exterior and well... nothing interior, yes, your Network Rep and thankfully not mine, Phillip Martin Atken. Atken is sitting at his desk with a stern look on his face as he faces directly into the camera.

PMA: Ladies and Gentlemen of TWOStars, I come here tonight to address an issue that has brought me great concern. Last week, DARKSTAR'S OWN Champion, the TWOStar's Heavyweight Champion went out of his way to destroy and make a mockery of my TWOStar Rulings. As such, he is banned from the food trolly for two weeks, and will now only have access to one virgin sacrifice PER MONTH. I feel very strongly about this, and if Darkstar even thinks of overturning this decision, I will overturn his Network contract and he can have a fun time airing TWOStars on the Playboy Channel for Dogs, or something. I don't watch much cable TV.

PMA leans across his desk still facing the camera.

PMA: However, onto more urgent matters of urgency on the urgent mobile. I have still not recieved my big screen TV. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO WORK WITHOUT A BIG SCREEN TV. I NEED IT FOR BUSINESS! THE BUSINESS OF WATCHING A BIG SCREEEN TV! You know what they send me last week? A portable TV? How am I meant to use a portable TV? Don't you know I'm an important business man! Jesus Christ, I'm working with a bunch of idiots. Of course Darkstar hired them, so they're probably his best friends, which explains why they are COMPLETELY MENTALLY LACKING. Just like that idiot champion of his. The Incredible Holt, after his actions last week is no longer recognised by the Network as a champion and he will not be billed as such on any of the advertising campaigns used on our network.

PMA is seen getting very red in the face before he calms down and leans back into his chair.

PMA: Also, can someone fix the arena ceiling, it seems to be leaking blood. I'm not exactly sure why it's leaking blood, I don't BELIEVE arena's have periods, but I have been proven wrong on this sort of thing before. Also can someone order me a pizza? That'd be great too.

Cut to an Xtreme TV Ad with "NOT CHAMPION" flashing in big red letters whenever TIH appears on it.

[Evil Gringo]

Back from the XTV ad we cut to the hallway where the 'Mexican Sensation' is walking towards the vending machine, to purchase a fresh can of Dr Pepper... Only to find the smiling form of Mickhall Mills stood there, leaning on the side of the machine...

MM: Hey Gringo... heard about your match tonight... I've got a little propostition for you....

EG: Listen essa... I don't need your help, I don't want your help... I just want a can of Dr Pepper okay hombre...

MM: Na, Na essa... It's about what you can do for me...

EG: And whats that chico?

MM: Tonight your going up against someone who I mashed up last week... someone who's head isn't on straight and someone I got alot of beef with going into No Mercy...

EG: So essa....

MM: Well Gringo my old pal... I want you to make sure that Eagles doesn't get to No Mercy, I want you to make sure I get what I want and I want you to realise I can give you just what you want in return....

With these words Mills boots the side of the vending machine and tons of DrPepper cans come shooting out onto the floor...

MM: There ya go essa... Think about it won't you...

And with that Mickhall stalks off leaving Gringo staring down at his bounty and back at the retreating figure of Mills....

Cut to a recap of the story of the Million Dollar Corperation and Mills and Eagles fued...

[The Doctor]

Back from the recap to a shot of Brett Banner in close-up, looking less than pleased. We see a glimmer of a wince on his face and as the camera pans back we can see why. Banner is sat on a steel folding chair, with a medic behind him, attending to the wound on the back of his head.

Doc: There - that's the last of the glass now.

The medic has used tweezers to remove a shard of broken glass from the back of Brett's head. He drops it into a surgical steel kidney bowl on the bed behind him. There is quite a collection of small, jagged pieces of broken glass coated in The Brute's coagulated blood. The medic swabs the wound with cotton wool soaked in surgical spirit and again there is a flicker of pain across Banner's face.

Doc: This is going to require a few stitches.

Banner: Do what you got to do, Doc.

The medic begins to push the curved needle through Banner's skin to close up the wound.

Banner: Unbelievable. The guy cracks me open with a baseball bat one week, and now he's bottling me from behind like a drunken coward in an Essex nightclub. What ever happened to sportsmanship, doc?

The medic merely grunts an acknowledgement as he concentrates on sewing up Brett's head wound.

Banner: I mean, I'm no angel, but whatever happened to the sheer, physical satisfaction of overpowering a man with your bare hands?

The Brutal One focusses intently on his hands, which he wrings, ECW Benoit style. He speaks through clenched teeth, clearly relishing the thought of taking Twig apart...

With a snip of the scissors, executed with a flourish, the medic finishes his stitching.

Banner: If he wants to play hardcore, I'll show him hardco--


Brett is cut off by the medic kneeling in front of him and shining a light into his eyes.

Doc: I thought so - dilated - you've suffered a minor concussion, Brett. I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you don't drive tonight. You're in no fit state to be on the road in charge of a vehicle.

Banner: Wha? Oh, give me a break, Doc - my hire car's just in the parking lot - my hotel's only 20 minutes away--

Doc: I said, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist", Brett.

The doc holds out his hand for Brett's keys, which he reluctantly hands over.

Doc: I'll get the limo driver to drop you back, Brett. *stoops down to address BB face to face* Now promise me you won't do anything stupid while I go get the driver.

Banner: "Stupid?"

Doc: You know - reckless - a retaliation. You're in no fit state.

Banner: Of course.

The medic looks a little unsure but takes The Brute at his word and leaves the room to arrange Banner's ride back to the hotel. The camera pans back around to Brett's face, who has a malicious smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he continues to wring his hands.

Banner: Of course I will...

Cut to a Lonely Avenger promo.

[han89]

back from the Lonely Avenger promo to ringside.

TZ: What a night it has been so far ladies and gentlemen.

MC: Indeed Cole, a night even wilder then the Jaxx ones.




BANG!

The arena goes black as a Trash can appears on the TWOtron.

The US title seems to be falling in it, before a wild Keith Jaxx ALLLLRIGHTTT!!! striking loudly on the PA system. suddenly, the Trash can bursts into green flames as these words appear:

THE INCOMPETENT ONE LOST IT TO THE PREVERT, YET HE WILL LOSE IT ONE MORE TIME TO HORROR. MAY THE GREEN FLAMES OF LONELINESS CONSUME HIM, FOR HE WILL SEE MY REVENGE!

TZ: What is that? The US title, the Trash can, the Jaxx voice and then the green flames? How are all these things related to each others? And is this message related to the one painted minutes ago on the hallway wall?

MC: I don't know Tazz, this is a very unclear and mysterious thing, and the messages give me the creaps!

TZ: Well...



BANG! Another detonating sounds in the TWO arena before fading to a TWO VS ERE: 2006 game preview, available on Playstation 2 and on PSP.

[MrFill]

Back from the game promo.

The camera is showing WM in his dressing room, he's breathing very loudly as he stomps around, the crowd cheers at the sight of him.

The door opens and Arkham walks in, another cheer is raised from the crowd.

Arkham: Ooooh oh oh oh oh. Ultimoot WarryurMark - You mine hero.

WM suddenly stops, grabs a rope which happens to be strung across the dressing room, he shakes it up and down lots as he grimaces.

Arkham: WarryurMark going to taggie with I? Me hope so.

WM: Holtamania will be crushed tonight under the heel of the Warriormark-marks and his partner, the Arkham will call forth the power of the Warriormark and it will seep through to his veins, he will feel the power flowing through him and crushing Holtamania and all of the Holtamaniacs. Nothing can withstand the power of the Warriormark-marks when they rise up and give their energy to the Warriormark to feed off of, when we are growing in spirit and will crush our oponents beneath out heels.

Arkham looks a little confused as WM begins to stomp around, he grabs the rope once more and shakes them up and down violently.

Arkham: So you taggie with me?

WM: Warriormark-mark will accompany the Arkham into the ring, together we will stand side by side and crush Holtamania, our combined power shall not be stopped as we will rise above all others and overcome all obstacles including the Holtamaniacs who will stand blocking our way.

WM once more stomps around the room, he huffs loudly as he flexes his "muscles".

Arkham: Warryurmark and I go beat Incredibobble Holty and Tommy Trash.

Arkham jumps up and down and claps his hands as WM shakes the ropes around once more.


Tazz: You know, a simple "yes" would have answered his question.

Cole: But Warriormark can't just give a simple answer, it's not his style.

Tazz: He has a style. Jeez, you are a mark, aren't you?

[The Doctor]

Backstage, and Brett Banner strides purposefully along, the recently stitched wound on the back of his head ugly and raw.

Backstage hands nervously move aside as he passes, so as not to obstruct his path. He's a man on a mission, searching for...

Banner: Twiggie!

Twig is startled by Banner bellowing out to him and releases his hold on his recycling bin, which he was towing behind him through the loading bay and towards the main exit. He holds both his hands up in front of him in the classic please don't hit me pose.

Twiggie: Woah, woah, Brett - there's no need t--

That's as far as Twig gets before The Brute unceremoniously cuts him off with a solid punch to the face. Unprepared for this, Twiggie is staggered backwards. Brett closes in on his target again and this time grabs two handfuls of Twig's dreadlocks, using them as a handle with which to smash The Recycler's face into his rising knee.

Twig falls back a couple of steps onto his arse. Banner takes hold of his beloved recycling bin and throws out the branch which is the only item in it. The Brute is clearly angered by the lack of readily available weaponry contained within the bin (presumably he was hoping for a bit of like-for-like retribution with a bottle of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale) and hurls the empty bin onto his foe.

The Brutal One seizes hold of the branch and starts wailing on Twig with it. Twig does his best to block the crude weapon doing any lasting damage by shielding his face.

Banner: You wanna get hardcore with me, boy? Bats, bottles?! You've grabbed a goddamned tiger by the tail, sparky! You don't know what you've started...

We hear a clatter out of shot and The Brute whirls around to locate it. It's Evil Gringo, trying vainly to carry what must easily be a dozen cans of sweet, refreshing Doctor Pepper without dropping any.

Banner: Gringo!

Gringo: Essa, I didn't steal these, homes, I, er-- I was given them, ok?

Banner bends down to pick up a can which has rolled towards him.

Banner: Sure thing - mind if I take one?

Banner: Fine by me, homes - I didn't pay for them! Er, I mean, I didn't steal them or anything, essa...

Banner turns back to his adversary, who has gotten up and is trying to make a sharp exit..

Banner: Oh no you don't!

Brett charges after Twig and fells him with a clubbing blow from the Doctor Pepper can. More clubbing blows follow, as The Brute repeatedly smashes Twig's head with the can until it bursts open, its frothing contents spilling everywhere (the can, that is, not Twig's head).

Twig: No - my hair! You can't wash dreadlocks, you know!

With a sadistic smirk, Banner crushes the can in his hand and shakes the entire contents into Twig's hair.

Twiggie is in a heap on the concrete floor and Banner bends down to address him face to face.

Banner: This. Isn't. Over.

And like that, The Brute is gone, leaving the camera to linger on a shot of The Recycler, holding the matted, sticky mess of his dreads in his fingers with an expression of disgust and anger on his face.


Fade to an ad for the "Best of Dominator" DVD - Silvervision will pay you £5.99 to take them off their hands.

[Telf]

Back from “Best of Dominator DVD” promo. We cut to cameras backstage in the office of the owner, Darkstar. He is impatiently walking around the room, cell phone to his ear. Dave Meltzer and the TWOstars Television Champion walk into shot. Vengeance has been cleaned up after the earlier incident in the ring…

DARKSTAR: Look, Tom. Your match is up next! Where the hell are you!?............... Your where?............... Then take your ass OUT of that bar and get it TO THE ARENA!............................ Mummy?............ No, Trash, I’m not your mummy! Hell, I’m not even your daddy! I’m your boss dammit! No showing has its consequences!

He snaps the phone shut and throws it down with aggression onto the couch and turns to address Meltzer and Triple V, putting his hands on his hips as if he has no interest in what Da Meltz will have to say

MELTZ: Good, got your attention! Now, so whe…

DARKSTAR: (interrupting) Shut it, Dave!

Vengeance gets distracted by the gleaming World Heavyweight Championship. He goes over to it and shuts everything else out but for the belt. However, just as quickly, it is snatched back by its owner - The Incredible Holt has entered the room and taken back his property. The two three hundred pounders lock eyes…….. A grunting session ensues

HOLT: GRUNT

VVV: GRRUNT

HOLT: GRRRUNT

VVV: GRRRRRRRUNT

HOLT: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUNT!

DARKSTAR: Will you two cut it out! Damn!.......... Now Holt, Tom’s not gonna make it… You find a partner?

MELTZ: Hey! I was here first!

…

DARKSTAR: (with extreme sarcasm) Oh! Oh, I’m sorry Dave… Please continue…

MELTZ: Finally, some respect around here!............. Anyway, before some one decided to screw with the lights earlier tonight, I was about to make an announcement

DARKSTAR: An announcement? Oh, you mean a REQUEST?

MELTZ: Yeah, whatever…………. Seeing as Mr Corn On The Cob over there doesn’t have a match in 2 weeks at No Mercy, I see it only right that Triple V gets that opportunity

DARKSTAR: (sarcastically) You know what Dave, I was thinking the exact same thing!

Not really understanding the strong English sarcasm, Da Meltz buys into the false honesty…

DARKSTAR: Holt and Vengeance SHOULD be in the ring! In faaaaaact, why wait until No Mercy!? Let’s have them both in the ring tonight!

MELTZ: Great!

DARKSTAR: So tonight!..................... Right here in Seattle, Washington……… It’s gonna be……….. Violent Vinnie Vengeance and The Incredible Holt…………….

Dave Meltzer is licking his lips in the anticipation of World Heavyweight Championship match for Triple V….

DARKSTAR:………….. Teaming up to take on the World Tag Team champions, Retromark and Arkham!

Meltzer’s mouth drops, this certainly wasn’t what he was expecting…

MELTZ: No! Hell no! Come on Vinnie, if the boss doesn’t wanna play ball, we’re going!

Upset that his Championship Guidance Counsellor is stopping him from seeing action tonight, he grabs him by the throat. Equally as disappointed, The World Heavyweight Champion also joins in and clasps him around the Adam’s apple. The two huge behemoths lift the scrawny little man up into the air…….. The top of Meltzer’s head crashes into the ceiling as he drops to the floor like a sack of spuds

The two champions give a subtle nod to one another as both leave the room with their respective title belts. The camera is inches from the floor, focusing on the plaster ridden carcass of Da Meltz. The bottom of Darkstar’s trench coat and boots can be seen. The boss crouches down into shot…

DARKSTAR: OOOOOO! I’ll take that as a yes then?

…

The TWOstars walks out of shot leaving the motionless body of Dave Meltzer

(voice over)

COLE: Oh my! Meltzer has been knocked out cold AGAIN! But more importantly, the formidable force of Holt and Vengeance will take on the World Tag Team Champions, Warriormark and Arkham! It’s up next! DON’T go away!

Cut to commercials

[Christof]

Back from Commercials

Cole: Well what a night it’s been so far and Tazz, my broadcast colleague I for one believe it’s just about to get a whole lot better

Tazz: Better for whom though? The tag champs are going up against not only the World Heavyweight Champion and former tag team champion but as we just found out his emergency tag team partner is the Television champ, Mr Violence himself

Cole: And pound for pound the pair of them make what must be the largest tag team ever to grace TWOstars

Tazz: You’re damn right there Cole

Cole: And what chance for the tag champs

Tazz: Well all I can say is luckily for them this is a non title match; I mean Retromark has just confirmed his own stupidity by competing just two weeks after getting injured at the hands of his opponent tonight

Cole: Well let’s just see what exactly Retromark could be suffering from

Cut to TWOstars Flashback

Deadman raises his arms again and after a pause the arena slowly returns to light



DS: WHAT THE HELL!



Cole: IT’S RETROMARK TAZZ! DEADMANMARK EVEN!

Tazz: WHAT THE! Why the hell is that dumbass punk doing interrupting this contract signing

Cole: How would I know Tazz?

Tazz: I dunno, you seem to be friends with most of the freaks around here

DS: WHAT IN GOD’S NAME ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING HERE?

Deadmanmark just grins but is cut short but a stiff boot to the gut from the TWOstars world champ who grabs the serial impersonator as he bounces of the ropes and raises him high above his head



CRUNCH!

Tazz: INCREDIPLEX COLE! INCREDIPLEX

The table is split in two as Deadmanmark goes crashing through with a sickening impact, Darkstar lands a kick to the ribs of the tag team champion before Holt picks him up and throws him over the ropes



THUNK!


Tazz: Now that’s unlucky!

Deadmanmark recoils and clasps his ribs

Cole: Let’s see if we can get a replay of that

The XTV double feature (sponsored by Taco Bell) shows Deadmanmark landing front first on the ring step base he had placed outside to make his entrance

Cole: As we saw there folks, Retromark or Deadmanmark as he was at the time landed heavily and awkwardly on the ring steps. Although it’s not confirmed it was suspected that Deadmanmark did suffer a cracked rib and severe bruising as a result of his landing.

Tazz: Injured or not, he’s stupid that’s for sure

Cole: Well either way Tazz we’re just about to find out as we join Tony Chimmel

Cut to hard-view camera Chimmel is in the ring, looking festively plump as usual in a snazzy suit. Referee Brian Hebner is out of focus discussing something with a ring aid

TC: Ladies and Gentlemen this match is scheduled for one fall and is a Non Title match

"Insane in the Brain" begins which indicates that the level of insanity is about to increase
Arkham walks out onto the staging, he smacks the side of his head a couple of times before walking down towards the ring, the crowd cheer as he approaches the ring

TC: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 320 pounds, he is one half of the TWOstars World Tag Team Champions, Arkham
As he gets to ringside he uses the ropes to pull himself into the ring, he pulls on the top rope a couple of times as though testing that it's going to hold him and his opponent
The crowd pops as Arkham manages to remove his belt before trying to shake referee Hebner’s hand

Cole: The Insane One seems in good form tonight Tazz

Tazz: Seems like an idiot to me, but my opinion never changes on that

Cypress Hill fades out and is replaced by the ever memorable entrance music of another insane old chap, The Utlimate Warrior

The crowd pop huge as an out of shape, shorter version of the warrior starts running down the aisle in the form of Retromark

Cole: It’s Warriormark Tazz!

Tazz: My day just keeps on getting better

TC: And his partner, weighing in at 240 pounds, Warriormark

Warriormark is showing obvious pain as his runs down the aisle, ribs still taped from the attack of two weeks ago, on getting into the ring he high fives Arkham before shaking the ropes to the legions of Warriormark fans.

The unconventional tag team champs embrace in a string hug that leaves Warriormark doubled over, clutching his ribs before calling over referee Hebner

Cole: Warriormark seems to be in trouble before the match has even started Tazz

Tazz: Stupid of him to sign up to a match then, idiot

TC: Ladies and Gentlemen referee Brian Hebner has informed me that the wrestler known as Warriormark is not cleared to wrestle in this match; therefore this match is declared a 2 on 1 handicap match

Cole: Handicap?

Tazz: I love it Cole, now Arkham can get what’s coming to him

The crowd start to boo until "Perfect Strangers" - Deep Purple cuts them off. They cheer wildly as the true smartest man is wrestling makes his way onto the stage

Cole: It’s Pip Akten Tazz

Tazz: Wow you’re observant

Cole: What can he want?

Tazz: Probably ready to clamp down on my fun out here, I’m already banned for giving you an armbar

PMA: No no no no, NO! Chimmel, Brian, this cannot be. I couldn’t help noticing, watching in my office on my new TV

Crowd pops for the TV

PMA: That’s right folks; PMA has indeed got 42 inches of pure entertainment pleasure

Muffled laughter from the crowd

PMA: Anyway, where was I? (Struts across the stage) As I was saying, I saw this in the back and as your Network Representative I just can’t allow this. These people here tonight paid to see a tag match and I for one am damn sure they are going to see one

The crowd lap up the words of their Entertainment saviour

PMA: Now, I would wrestle myself but all I got here tonight is these slacks and with that Virgin loving Jolly Green Giant not too happy with my decisions I don’t think it’s in your interests to see me wrestle tonight

Cole: He has a point

Tazz: Yeah the point is that he doesn’t want his ass kicked!

PMA: So I’m offering an opportunity, to anyone in the back that wants to assist young Arkham tonight. I will consider it a personal favour

No sooner than the word “Favour” ends Wildboys fills the arena and the United States champion runs down the aisle, sliding into the ring

TC: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome your United States champion, Keith Jaxx

The uphill gardener grabs the mic from Chimmel

KJ: Seattle Washington, allllllllllllllllllllllllriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggggght!

The crowd laps up the sausage jockey

KJ: When I heard my buddy Arkham was in trouble, I just had to help. I mean I’ve run out of mates before and it was a painful night

Cole laughs in a muffled manner into the mic

Tazz: What?

Cole: nothing, nothing just reminded me of old times

Tazz: You’re sick

KJ: Then I heard that this was a personal favour to Mr Akten, I just couldn’t help myself, I was more excited than Tazz in a donut shop

Tazz: Son of a bitch!

Cole: Calm down Tazz there may be children watching

KJ: And seeing as I am the United States champion, I thought I’d share something with you

Jaxx tosses the mic back to Tony Chimmel and in one fluid movement rips his slacks off to reveal new customised ring attire.

Cole: Well say can you see!

Tazz: I don’t wanna look Cole, Argh!

Jaxx cavorts around the ring in his new incredibly tight, US flag patterned spandex hot pants before handing his title to the growing pile in Brian Hebner’s arms.

Hebner shakes his head in pity at the cavorting Keith Jaxx as Wildboys subsides and the arena’s level of hysteria returns to normal.

TC: And their opponents

"Violence Fetish" – Disturbed fills the arena alongside boos of disgust from the Washington crowd. Vengeance steps out from the curtain, dragging his TV title, cleaned up slightly from the blood incident but still maintaining a red hue. Championship advisor Da Meltz is in tow a good five to ten paces behind the television champion, a towel over his head as he struggles to come to.

Cole: Well another change to the card here tonight Tazz as Violent Vinnie Vengeance steps in to fill the void left by Tom Trash

Tazz: Not a bad replacement though Cole is it? I mean yeah Holt and Trash are long time tag buddies but Holt and Trippers, Man that’s a tag team!

Cole: The Violence Bearer is still looking a tad frustrated from his encounter earlier tonight

Tazz: Well wouldn’t you be, blood chucked on you two weeks in a row, I’d be pissed too

Vengeance carries on making slow progress to the ring, allowing Meltzer to scurry ahead of him, opening the top and middle ropes to allow the Television champ an easier path into the ring

TC: Introducing first from Detroit Michigan, accompanied to the ring by Internet Genius, Dave Meltzer, weighing in at 295 pounds he is your Television Champion, Violent Vinnie Vengeance.

V3 hoists his left arm up to show his belt before tossing it in the direction of Hebner who tries but fails to hold onto the other title belts when attempting to pick up the TV title.

The warbling sounds of Disturbed die out and the arena is again silent. A nervous buzz is in the atmosphere as the well known signal of the champ, the opening rifts of “You don’t see the signs” hits the arena PA

The arena darkens, only illuminated by the green graphics on the tron until the World Heavyweight Champion, The Incredible Holt brushes the curtain to one side and makes his way out to the stage

He takes a couple of paces forward, the camera showing the caption – THE INCREDIBLE HOLT – NOT THE TWOSTARS WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION before a waterfall of white pyro masks Holt and the ramp from view before the champ marches through.

TC: And his partner, hailing from London, England. Weighing in at 297 pounds he is your TWOstars World Heavyweight Champion, ladies and gentlemen, The INCREDIBLE HOLT

Holt is a picture of measured aggression as he makes his way down the ramp, not acknowledging Da Meltz who is trying to make peace by opening the ropes for the champ

Tazz: Man he looks pissed tonight

Cole: Could it be because he is now restricted to one virgin per month

Tazz: What?

Cole: You know, Akten’s new rules

Tazz: I don’t think it has a damn thing to do with Akten Cole and you know it. Tonight he was meant to be tagging with his long time buddy Tom Trash and for whatever reason The Disciple isn’t here tonight and that is why the champ is pissed

Holt removes his gold and hands it to Hebner who struggles with the five championship belts and hands them to a ring aid as Mark B and Blade dies out, he calls for the bell as the Silent Destroyer and the Sausage Jockey leave the ring

DING DING DING

Cole: Looks like this one is underway folks as we have all five of our champions on show here tonight

Tazz: It seems as if that idiot Retromark is staying around here then, no doubt he’ll cheat at some stage this match

Cole: Are you tarring the reputation of the Warriormark?

Tazz: Are you suggesting that the Warrior even has a reputation left? Wait a minute!

Cole: Well it seems you’ll be able to ask him yourself Tazz, welcome Warriormark

WM: Evening Queer and er, hmmmmmm, we’ll call you Cripple

Cole: Forthright as ever Warrior

WM: Listen Cole, I created Ultimate Warrior, I own Ultimate Warrior and I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER performed him -- AND I AM NOT DEAD.

Cole: Ok then

WM: I have no tolerance for purposeful ignorance or stupidity

Tazz: (laughs) You may not want to speak to Cole for the rest of the show then

Arkham and Vengeance circle each other, Arkham and Jaxx both clap to get the crowd behind them before Arkham imitates the legendary Hulk Hogan and fixes V3 with a point. The crowd respond with a “Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu” before Arkham laughs and ties up with the Violence Bearer

Neither man is giving an inch until Vengeance uses an underhand stamp on the toe to take the advantage, pushing Arkham back into the ropes until Hebner gives him a five count to release

ONE


TWO


THREE


FOUR

Vengeance arches back and clubs Arkham with a big right hand, the Insane One covers his face allowing V3 to connect with a kick to the gut and a knife edge chop before Irish whipping the slightly bigger man out of the ropes and across the ring

Arkham uses his momentum to knock Vengeance to the ground; the crowd whoops in delight as Trippers gets back up and with obvious frustration charges at the ropes and barges into Arkham. The Shoulder block fails to move the tag team champion as V3 begins to get more and more angry. He commands Arkham to the ropes, challenging him to knock the TV champ down before charging with a high knee, knocking the insane one to the mat

Cole: That’s not fair!

Tazz: If Arkham is stupid enough to trust Triple V then he deserves a kick in the head

Cole: I suppose the same is true for Dave Meltzer

Tazz: That’s just funny; the guy seems to have a habit of walking into chairs

V3 is back on it, putting the boot into Arkham, preventing him from reaching a vertical base before placing the tag champ into an armbar

Cole: Is that move banned or endorsed by the network

Tazz: No idea Cole, no idea

Vengeance twists the arm, using his weight to keep his opponent on the mat, at the same time dragging Arkham towards the Team Vengeance corner. Hebner checks with Arkham as Triple V outstretches his spare arm, allowing Holt to clamp down on it, adding to the pressure and pain for the Insane One

Cole: Hey that’s not on!

Hebner looks up just after Holt stops helping V3 and returns his concentration back to Arkham. This time the recovering Meltzer assists Vengeance apply the pressure until Keith Jaxx runs in attempting to make the save but is cut off by referee Hebner as the crowd boo wildly allowing Holt to enter the ring and stomp away at Arkham before Vengeance claps his hands and leaves the ring. Jaxx is ushered out and Hebner returns confused, questioning the tag which Vengeance confirms by holding the tag cord and clapping.

Cole: Blatant cheating there for The Incredible Holt, like I would expect anything else

Tazz: Only cheating Cole if the ref catches you, I thought you’d have learnt that by now

WM: Only now will the Holtamaniacs realise the error in their ways by supporting this jolly green giant. The Legions and LEGIONS or Warrior fans will rule this mother earth

Tazz: Doesn’t look too jolly to me Warriormark

WM: Listen Tazz your fat ass and your silly orange shades are only on the plane to the next city on the tour because TOP TALENT like me performing Ultimate Warrior bought your ticket.

Tazz: Jeeesh, can’t say you’re not realistic this week

Holt drags the slightly shorter Arkham to his feet and uses his power to move his weakened opponent into his corner. Big Greenie drives his shoulder into the gut of the Insane One three times before choking Arkham, utilising the five count

ONE


TWO


THREE


FOUR

Hebner walks Holt out of the corner and lectures him, allowing V3 to use the tag rope to choke Arkham further, increasing the crowd’s annoyance with the referee. Holt shrugs Hebner to one side and charges into the corner, nailing a clothesline before tagging out again to Vengeance, ensuring his team stays fresh

The Violence Bearer peppers Arkham with body punches and allows his opponent to stagger out of the corner before driving the tag champ into the canvas with a spinebuster

Cole: It’s all Holt and Vengeance at the moment Tazz and there is nothing that Keith Jaxx can do about it

Tazz: That’s because they’re playing smart Cole, cutting the ring in half, using the referee to their advantage to maintain a position of dominance in this match

V3 makes a casual over, Hebner slides in excitedly to make the count

ONE




TWO


And a shoulder up from Arkham keeps this match alive; the tag champ is showing obvious signs of wear now, his face is becoming increasingly red as Triple V locks in a chin lock to keep his opponent from a vertical base

Cole: You have to say Tazz that right now Arkham is in trouble

Referee Hebner raises Arkham’s arm, it falls instantly, Hebner gestures to the time keeper

BH: ONE!

Tazz: He’s suffering that’s for sure

Arkham starts reaching out, showing signs of revival as Hebner raises his arm for a second time

The crowd start to cheer as Arkham comes back to life, forcing Vengeance up. The Insane One gets up to two feet and starts to drive his massive elbows into the gut, trying to break few until V3 lets him go, only to smash a forearm over the back of his opponents head, sending him back to the mat

The crowd boo, realising V3 is back in control as he grabs Arkham by the head and again drags him over to his corner, making another rapid tag to the Incredible Holt, allowing the 2005 King of the Ring to make his way into the ring.

Holt offers Arkham a punch to the gut before hooking his arm around the head of Arkham, lifting him high above his head

Cole: Too early for an Incrediplex surely?

Holt drives Arkham into the mat with an archetypal suplex, the tag champion arching in pain as he hits the mat before King Holt quickly drops from his feet, delivering a head butt to his felled opponent

Tazz: Tell you what Cole, Holt is looking good going into No Mercy, shape wise I don’t think he’s looked as good since Wrestlemania

Holt contemplates making the pin but instead lifts himself up to the second turnbuckle a drives his elbow into the midriff of The Insane One

Cole: Cover here from the champion

ONE



TWO









A Shoulder up! This match is still alive despite all the punishment Arkham has taken

Holt questions Hebner who confirms the two count before again tagging out quickly, determined to keep his team’s advantage

Tazz: Just when Arkham’s day couldn’t get any worse in comes a pissed off and freshened up Vinnie Vengeance

Cole: It never rains, but it pours

Tazz: Something like that

WM: I just got back from a fishing trip down around New Orleans. Fishing is exceptionally good down there right now.

Cole: Oh please!

WM: What? I press the politically-incorrect envelope to the MAX

Vengeance gets back to work, dragging Arkham back to a vertical base before driving him back down with a short arm clothesline

Cole: Vengeance with a cover now, surely Arkham can’t take much more

ONE



TWO




Again a shoulder up from the tag team champion

Tazz: I’ll give him some credit Cole, he may be stupid but he is tough

V3 contemplates his next line of attack, grabbing the leg of Arkham he arches the tag champ over before locking in a submission move

Cole: this could be all here Tazz, Vengeance has the False Sense of Security locked in and surely there is nothing Arkham can do.

Arkham cries out in pain, his back arching as Vengeance locks in the move, centre of the ring.

Referee Hebner is checking on Arkham, asking him if he wishes to submit as the crowd start to rally behind their favourite Tag champ

The Insane One starts to inch his way towards his corner, using his elbows

Tazz: If Triple V keeps this locked in, this match is as good as over

Cole: And we should remind you folks at home, we’re yet to see Keith Jaxx participate in this match thus far

Arkham gets close to his corner until Vengeance becomes aware of the situation and again drags Arkham back towards the centre of the ring. The end is coming for Arkham until he manages to roll over and kick away at Triple V with his spare foot. The constant kicking forces V3 to release the hold and the crowd start to go wild as Vengeance attempts to stalk Arkham but gets a double boot to the face, knocking him to the ground

Cole: This could be it Tazz, Arkham is perilously close to making a tag

Arkham inches further, getting closer to his corner as again Vengeance is back to his feet, he grabs the foot of his opponent but its not enough as Arkham makes one final leap and makes the tag to the Wildboy, Keith Jaxx

The crowd go wild as Jaxx vaults over the ropes and takes Vengeance to the canvas with a perfect Hurricanrana. Holt charges into the ring but fails to connect with a clothesline, allowing the sausage jockey to connect with a running bulldog. Holt rolls out of the ring, showing better judgement as Jaxx turns to deliver a snap kick to the Television champ, leaving Vengeance doubled over

Cole: Jaxx is cleaning house here Tazz! And would you listen to the crowd

The crowd go insane as Jaxx cavorts in front of Vengeance, making the most of the tight fitting spandex. V3’s eyes fill with rage as he runs at the US champ.

Cole: Nobody home there as Vengeance gets to tastes the canvas courtesy of a perfect drop toe hold from the Uphill Gardener. Suddenly this match has got exciting Tazz

Tazz: Exciting for you maybe Cole, I think you should perhaps take a cold shower after this match

WM: Damn Queer. I know there cannot even be grey unless there were, first, the knowledge of what is black and white. Grey is middle of the road. Grey is wanting to have your cake and eat it too.

Cole: Yet again folks, the comments of the Warrior are not those of TWOstars Entertainment

Jaxx skips around Vengeance before stepping through the apron and with a vault drives the elbow into the Violence Bearer

Cole: The Catapult Tazz, this could be it!

The crowd chant along with the referee

ONE



TWO

Vengeance powers out, and quickly follows the US champ to his feet as the crowd become distracted

Camera cuts to the aisle

Cole: What the hell? That’s Tom Trash! The original tag team partner of The Incredible Holt tonight

The Disciple is staggering down the aisle, obviously worse for wear. His face a purple shade of red, his hair a mess, the classic bandana has slipped and resides around his neck

Tazz: Man he looks bad, maybe he shouldn’t have taken that Liquor Mart endorsement

Trash continues to stagger down to the ring as the camera cuts back to the ring.

Jaxx, bounces off the ropes and hits Holt on the outside with the K-Down. The force of the baseball slide sends Holt into Meltzer who again lies knocked out on the floor outside the ring

Cole: It really isn’t his week

Trash walks over Holt

TT: You all right buddy (shakes Holt’s head), I’ll take care of this

Jaxx steadies himself by the ropes and jumps up to the second before springboarding off, but Vengeance has it scouted and drives Jaxx into his knee with a sickening Tilt a Whirl backbreaker

Cole: The US champ looked like he was going to hit the Jaxx the Facts but Triple V saw it

Tazz: And man, what a sickening impact that was.

Vengeance backs himself into the corner, shaking off the effects of the earlier Jaxx attacks to his head when out of no where Trash makes the blind tag

Cole: Wait a minute! He’s not part of this match

Hebner signals the tag is legal as Trash trips over the second rope, falling flat on his face in the ring

Tazz: I guess the ref allowed it because he was originally signed to this match

The Disciple gets to his feet and spins around, struggling to come to terms with where he’s at. The crowd jeer, possibly in pity at what their former US champ has become

Cole: It looks like losing the US title has hit Tom trash pretty hard

Tazz: You’re telling me, it looks like all four wheels have come off the wagon

Jaxx gets groggily back to his feet and looks confused to see Tom Trash in the ring, before tapping the former US champ on the shoulder. Trash spins round and misses with possibly the worst aimed punch in TWOstars history, Jaxx goes to kick Trash but in a miracle seemingly impossible in his state of soberness the Disciple manages to catch the leg only for Jaxx to spin....

Cole: Jaxx that out! Jaxx that out! This should be it here Tazz

Trash slumps to the mat, the Uphill Gardener hooks the leg as the crowd chant


ONE



TWO




THREE!


Ding Ding Ding

Cole: What a victory for Keith Jaxx, twice in two weeks he gets the pin over Tom Trash

Wildboys again fills the arena as Jaxx celebrates before scooting out of the ring, eyeing the approaching Vengeance and Holt out of the corner of his eye.

TC: Here are your winners, Wildboy Keith Jaxx and Arkham

Hebner slides to the outside and raises the arms of Jaxx and Arkham who are joined in a celebratory hug by Warriormark. In the ring Triple V and The Incredible Holt stand over the befallen Tom Trash

Tazz: I can’t believe it Cole, Tom Trash should have stayed in the bar, he cost his buddy victory tonight

Vengeance leaves the ring, dragging Meltz to his feet and carrying him over his shoulder, bitter disappointment obvious on his face as he makes his way up the ramp

King Holt continues to stand over Tom Trash and with a look of disgust, leaves his partner laid out in the ring, making his way, alone up the ramp to the back

Cole: What a night its been so far Tazz, and we still have a huge main event and the return of Draven Cage still to come.

Tazz: No doubt about it Cole, this night has been off the chain

Cut to Shopzone ad

[Darkstar]

Back from shopzone advert.

We cut to ringside where Cole and Tazz are sat ready for the penultimate match of the night.

MC: Boy am I psyched up for this next match Tazz! ‘The Hangman’ Draven Cage taking on the Dark Alliance monster Sickness.

Tazz: It’s the sadistic versus the masochistic Cole, and it will be a dozy!

MC: Sickness giving away only 2 inches in height but 60 pounds in weight in this match! Will that be too much for him, I think it well may!

Tazz: Did you EVER watch Ex Rev Cole? Sickness gave away 3 inches and 70 pounds. And Sickness pinned Fill on at least one occasion!

Suddenly the lights dim and the silhouette of a noose is projected onto the canvas Drowning Pool - Tear Away starts to play over the arena speakers as the fans burst into a chorus of boos.

MC: The Hangman not a popular wrestler here in TWOStars Tazz.

Tazz: Hey, he does what he needs to do Cole, and these clowns just don’t get that!

TC: ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from the 8th Dimension of Hell, Airdrie at a weight of 260 pounds, he is the Hangman Draven Caaaaaaaaage!

Suddenly the crowd EXPLODES in jeers as Draven Cage emerges from the back and starts to walk to the ring. The hangman scowls at a few of the fans who try to grab hold of his leather jacket. Cage slides into the ring under the bottom rope, walks over to the corner and sits down with his arms tucked under the second rope whilst he stares at the entrance, waiting for Sickness…..

The music stops as the lights change….to an ultraviolet spread over the entire inside of the arena. Down with the Sickness starts to play as the fans start cheering for sickness; but against Draven Cage who wouldn’t be cheered?

TC: ladies and gentlemen his opponent, from an unknown hometown weighing in tonight at 230 pounds he is one half of the Dark Alliance and the ULTIMATE King of the Ring…Siiickneeesss!!!

Sickness throws open the curtain and steps out into the aisle. His tattered white t shirt already covered