TWOStars Xtreme TV 12- May 12th

[Darkstar]

Wednesday
Dante and Retromark Vs Omega Red and V3: Omega writing

Thursday
One Night Stand match lottery: darkstar writing

friday
Draven Cage Vs darkstar: DC writing

Weekend
US title No1 contenders Match
Chav Vs Arkham vs Slimjim: Arkham writing

Ok I need takers for these bouts. The show will be started later today.

[Ravenmark]

I'll take the tag match, if no-one else fancies it.

[Darkstar]

OK, booking on way.

[Evil Gringo]

Any particular actions you want the Gringo to take during the show at all?

Just PM me with any particulars you want the Gringo to carry out or any ideas to build up anything we have planned and I'll slot it in...

[Christof]

Ok The arena this week is the United Center in Chicago, IL

[Ravenmark]

I've just spoken to Christof and unfortunately i have to withdraw from writing this weeks tag match.

Work commitments are killing me and I am working every day this week and I just have no time - other than the couple of hours before I go to work each day.

If anyone is willing to pick up my slack, I would be very grateful.

Scott.

[DC]

Ok, Darkey....I've laid the foundations for our match PM/Text me if there is anything specific you want in the remaining build-up segments or the match itself.

[Christof]

do we have a writer for the opening tag match yet? any one want to take it?

[Saz]

Right, well i'm gonna let someone else shine this week...

Saz

[Arkham]

Sorry for not posting for a few days, work has been a bit hell

Who is doing the main event?

[Slim Jim]

You can write it if you want Arkham - but I'll do otherwise.

[Fletch]

Posted a promo

[Edgemaster006]

if no one still has the tag match..ill write it...if u trust a newbie heh

[Christof]

could, cheers for that Omega, i'll get Darkie to PM you the booking

[Telf]

extended thanks from me Omega Red - after my last exam on thursday, i will be back on full time TWOstars duties

[Evil Gringo]

Darky, I see your writing the lottery... For my assignment can you tell me who've got planned to be in it and also if you want it before or after... I'm guessing before...

[Ravenmark]

I've just posted a pre-match promo - I hope you like who I will be marking out for this week :xyx

[Arkham]

Im enjoying writing the matches, also Im going to use Word, so it should make it more readable when I do the next one

If Darkstar or Christof can send me how the match goes, then Ill try the triple threat

[Dante]

So Omega has the tag match? I can do it if he isn't

[Edgemaster006]

no i got the tag match

[Ravenmark]

Arkham, since your character is supposed to be a loveable/comedy babyface (like Eugene) I thought the interaction made Slim Jim come across slightly heelish.

Maybe the promo would have been better served with The Chav involved?

[Slim Jim]

That match had the wrong person in it did it not?!?

[Ravenmark]

MEH.

[Christof]

Yeah it is Omega Red please edit your match changing Arkham for the Assassin as previously booked.

Could you also put a line between each line of commenatry / description please

[Arkham]

Arkham, since your character is supposed to be a loveable/comedy babyface (like Eugene) I thought the interaction made Slim Jim come across slightly heelish.

Maybe the promo would have been better served with The Chav involved?
You are right, I just saw the first name and used them, sorry

I might do something later in the week with The Chav

[Ravenmark]

Ok Red.....Constructive Criticism, I think:

1 - I was teaming with Dante, not Arkham, this needs changing along with any signature moves

2 - I think you put your character over WAY too much. While Retromark may be a comedy character, throwing him out of the ring with ONE HAND, is a bit much, especially since your character weighs 175lbs! (Thanks Telf!)

3 - I gave you an easy 'mark' to work with in Ric Flair. You could have made more of the Flair thing....THE FLAIR CHOPS? What about his bump from the top rope, low blow, eye poke, figure four etc

4 - The match was far too short and looked like it had been rushed, sorry.

5 - Having Tazz and Cole call the match seemed awkward - perhaps you could have used some more descriptive text?


That is all


Scott

[Christof]

You are right, I just saw the first name and used them, sorry

I might do something later in the week with The Chav

Arkham have no worries fella it was perfectly ok

[Slim Jim]

Yeah - i don't mind. I don't think Slim came across too heelish.

[Ravenmark]

Yeah - i don't mind. I don't think Slim came across too heelish.

Having re-read it, I agree.

Slim comes across like The Rock a little, as a face obviously.

[Arkham]

I was trying to get him be intense, determined to win no matter what

I have a funny idea of what to do with The Chav, as long as Saracen doesn't mind him being on the end of some Arkham-based antics

[Telf]

First, many thanks to Omega Red for writing this match and you gave it a good shot.

However, on top of RM's points you must really try to make sure the show has some continuity. My earlier posts have been following the lines of Triple V wanting his match at ONS so it would have been appropriate to give that a mention.

I appreciate that you have entered the fed later than most but it i would get to learn the other characters better, read the profiles and look back over some of the previous matches. Since I've been feuding with the Prototype for a long time, I've gained a better understanding of what his character is like - give some thought as to the purpose of your character.

[Arkham]

I hope I got The Chav right, writing his speech was a bit of a problem

Hope you dont mind me giving you a big hug there

[Slim Jim]

Having re-read it, I agree.

Slim comes across like The Rock a little, as a face obviously.

Imagine Slim Jim to be Jeff Hardy crossed with The Rock. If you smell what I'm cooking.

[Christof]

Good promo Arkham, I love your character, he reminds of one of the Raggydolls

[Arkham]

Im so glad you asked me not to be a heel, this is much more fun

[Christof]

its a fun character and I have a real idea of what to plan with your character

[DC]

Can I have some feedback on my contributions to the show this week Bub's.

[Ravenmark]

I love it mate and I love your writing.

DC is a great character who is like a cross between Tazz and Justin Credible and Rhino.

[Telf]

I love your stuff DC, the introduction of the Dead Cell has really opened things up and will allow for future storylines.

EDIT:.......or maybe not........ :P

[Volcom74]

would you like me to post another promo for myself

[Edgemaster006]

yeh the match was FAR to short and i intended on making it longer and actually taking more time to look over that characters...but a certain SOMEONE who's in this fed and who's name rhymes with *Tiral Sap* told me that the match has to be in TODAY...so i was writing it...and when the bell rang for the next class i panicked and posted it unfinished...

i understand the criticism..and it was SUPPOSED to be better...but i'll do better next time lol

[Fidel Cashflow]

yeh the match was FAR to short and i intended on making it longer and actually taking more time to look over that characters...but a certain SOMEONE who's in this fed and who's name rhymes with *Tiral Sap* told me that the match has to be in TODAY...so i was writing it...and when the bell rang for the next class i panicked and posted it unfinished...

i understand the criticism..and it was SUPPOSED to be better...but i'll do better next time lol
Well, I wasn't lying!

[Christof]

Yeah Volcom post away

Omega, don't get to stressed lad, feel free to edit the match if you like, please correct it so that it has the correct participants.

We have no troubles with matches being slightly late if advised about it.

[Christof]

Well, I wasn't lying!

A deadline can be extended to guarantee a better match ST, no need to give Omega such heat especially as it is his debut

[Fidel Cashflow]

A deadline can be extended to guarantee a better match ST, no need to give Omega such heat especially as it is his debut
I didn't give him heat. we were in class and I told him the match should me posted today as the schedule indicated. He could have waited till he got home.

[Edgemaster006]

On a normal day...yes...today...NO!...project due tomorrow...along with venal and aterial system test

[Fidel Cashflow]

On a normal day...yes...today...NO!...project due tomorrow...along with venal and aterial system test
Which teacher? Anun?

[Edgemaster006]

if u mean anand then yeah XD

u remember how freaked out people get over his test...that *******

[Christof]

Please stay on topic. Please also read over what people said of your match and use it to build on.

Make sure at some point you edit the match to remove Arkham and replace with Assassin

[TGO]

Just posted my Promo on here and ERE so have a look at both and tell me what you all think cheers

[MrFill]

Just one thing, remember that ERE RAW is "filmed" on Mondays and TWO Xtreme is "filmed" on Thursdays, so there isn't a getting back to this show

Good work though :)

[TGO]

i have a jet lol

[Keith Jaxx]

Just posted a video package was a bit small, but once I have something to work with I should be ok:)

[MrFill]

Mah Gawd, the ERE World Champ arrived and put down the TWO Champ, what a nasty little chappy he is ;)

[The B-Man]

Mah Gawd, the ERE World Champ arrived and put down the TWO Champ, what a nasty little chappy he is ;)
Though it was nice:P

[Darkstar]

It was a good promo Fill...........just quickly put up the lottery segment: hope you enjoyed.

[Evil Gringo]

Nice segment Darky, and nice run down Fill... I just posted my reponse, hope it fill our critera we disscussed Darky/Christof...

And I hope it was enjoyable as well...

[MrFill]

This looks like it's going to be an interesting build up - great promo EG :) (I would do a "thumbs", but I can't find the Emoticon List here :P)

[Slim Jim]

its : x y x without the spaces

:xyx

[DC]

EDIT - Need to learn to read and tell the time.

[MrFill]

Thanks SJ :xyx

[DC]

Ok peeps...that's Cage v Darkstar up now......how was it?

[Christof]

Good match DC, one point when making counts if you put a line in between them


1



2







3

For example for a really long final count it adds to the length of the match. Also one thing i picked up from B-Man is to replace numbers with words for pinfalls that way you have TH THR THRE to emphasise how close to a fall etc.

Good match though, very enjoyable

[MrFill]

Nice little match, but one point - your music never stops playing :P

I'd definitely agree on using the words for numbers, you can give a much greater level of tension by breaking the count at "THRE... Darkstar kicks out at the last possible moment"

[Christof]

A couple of things to note

Dante - The King of the Ring tournament line up has not yet been announced on TV, so please edit your promo accordingly

Omega Red - Good promo but please edit your earlier match so that it has the correct wrestlers in it.

[The B-Man]

Good match DC, one point when making counts if you put a line in between them


1



2







3

For example for a really long final count it adds to the length of the match. Also one thing i picked up from B-Man is to replace numbers with words for pinfalls that way you have TH THR THRE to emphasise how close to a fall etc.

Good match though, very enjoyable

Well what I say to everyone is use 1,2,3 fo for the likes of punches and countouts then use one, two, three for pinfalls.

[Christof]

cheers Baz, thats what I was trying to remember!

[Arkham]

Should I wait until tomorrow to post the main event?

Im not quite finished with it, but it should be complete later on this afternoon

[Christof]

you have until tomorrow so you may as well take the time

[Arkham]

I just posted the main event, I hope its ok

[Darkstar]

Not a bad match Arkham. Not bad at all...............:)

[Arkham]

Thank you

[Arkham]

I just reread the match, it seems that the quotes and apostrophies from Word have turned into question marks

Ill edit it

[Slim Jim]

Great match Arkham, and even better result.

[Telf]

Good stuff Arkham, a well worked match. Keep it up buddy!

[MrFill]

Some good matches coming along, just one comment though:
Try not to use the same person's name over and over during a paragraph - if you vary what you call them it makes the match more interesting and readable

A small thing, but it can make a LOT of difference to how people read it :)


Example: You could call Slim Jim stuff like "the Slimmer", "SJ", etc.

[Christof]

Good match Arkham, very impressed